DuallyAddicted
New Member
I am 35.... I'm a nice guy that thought I wasn't ever harming anyone or myself. I struggle with drugs. Namely stimulants the last 4 years... And it took untill this moment to realize how bad my fap addiction and cam porn addiction had truly become. I have lost all sense of real sexual intercourse.
Now. I'm an average looking guy and I have a kid.. often fell into weird relationshipz w women. I thought I had erectile disfunction at 27 from meds side effects or addiction to drugs, only to realize the drugs were hurting me, but the fappin was truly destroying my soul. I've lost everyone I hold dear and pushed away good woman after good woman because I couldn't truly connect and successful orgasm and stay hard in real life situations normal guys would have no problem.
So... It's like a little mood/psychosis that takes hold of me and I just go cammin like a little slutman cam boy as the only sexual satisfaction I could get was through cammin...... I'm utterly repulsed at.some of the stuff I've done on pub cam..... For anyone to see.... Bah I am an idiot.
I know I'm all over the place, ranting a tad. I'm just so frustrated it's taken me 35 years of living to reach this point.
If I don't reboot soon and stay serious I will forever be alone and miss out on life's greatest gifts like a true love or partner in crime.
Thinking about it I've only loved one woman .. girl .. I was 17 my second girlfriend but first (and only love). Lost my virginity to her and was a stallion for 8 months w her enjoying healthy sexual acts. I ended up going on w break w her and slept w her good friend who told her later. I think it kinda scarred me as I've never cheated again... Well not in reality. But after a few normal years by around 25 I was becoming a Erectile failure with women who loved me but started to enjoy porn and mostly cam girls... Alot. I'd go 5 times in 5 hours .... Thought nothing of it. It hits in phases... 8ll go a month, or 4, not really fappin and then for a week cam 3 times a day everyday for a week or two. Binge beating....
Now I'm 35 and all alone and it's my fault. I have to concur my guilt and shame and I really struggle with self esteem these days. But I have discovered this place and I am at a point 8j my life where change is a must for me to have a decent quality of life.
Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.... Loser that cams because he fears true intamacy and sex love making. Fuk it sucks to admit all this but fukin aye I qtruly am at bottom. My drug addiction has been sober lately but with this time I've gained sober off stimulants I've been able to reflect and see how truly twisted my psyche is and how much fap cam time I spent wasting my life.... Hours in that daze of lust.... Now drugs like tweak to make me extra horny too and I turn into a fap robot
nonhuman 
..... Sad lil man that probably could have a normal life n relationship.
One love
Now. I'm an average looking guy and I have a kid.. often fell into weird relationshipz w women. I thought I had erectile disfunction at 27 from meds side effects or addiction to drugs, only to realize the drugs were hurting me, but the fappin was truly destroying my soul. I've lost everyone I hold dear and pushed away good woman after good woman because I couldn't truly connect and successful orgasm and stay hard in real life situations normal guys would have no problem.
So... It's like a little mood/psychosis that takes hold of me and I just go cammin like a little slutman cam boy as the only sexual satisfaction I could get was through cammin...... I'm utterly repulsed at.some of the stuff I've done on pub cam..... For anyone to see.... Bah I am an idiot.
I know I'm all over the place, ranting a tad. I'm just so frustrated it's taken me 35 years of living to reach this point.
If I don't reboot soon and stay serious I will forever be alone and miss out on life's greatest gifts like a true love or partner in crime.
Thinking about it I've only loved one woman .. girl .. I was 17 my second girlfriend but first (and only love). Lost my virginity to her and was a stallion for 8 months w her enjoying healthy sexual acts. I ended up going on w break w her and slept w her good friend who told her later. I think it kinda scarred me as I've never cheated again... Well not in reality. But after a few normal years by around 25 I was becoming a Erectile failure with women who loved me but started to enjoy porn and mostly cam girls... Alot. I'd go 5 times in 5 hours .... Thought nothing of it. It hits in phases... 8ll go a month, or 4, not really fappin and then for a week cam 3 times a day everyday for a week or two. Binge beating....
Now I'm 35 and all alone and it's my fault. I have to concur my guilt and shame and I really struggle with self esteem these days. But I have discovered this place and I am at a point 8j my life where change is a must for me to have a decent quality of life.
Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.... Loser that cams because he fears true intamacy and sex love making. Fuk it sucks to admit all this but fukin aye I qtruly am at bottom. My drug addiction has been sober lately but with this time I've gained sober off stimulants I've been able to reflect and see how truly twisted my psyche is and how much fap cam time I spent wasting my life.... Hours in that daze of lust.... Now drugs like tweak to make me extra horny too and I turn into a fap robot
nonhuman ..... Sad lil man that probably could have a normal life n relationship. One love