MarriedReboot
Member
Hey guys, been reading here for just over a month. Heard Gabe on a podcast discussing PIED and everything made sense. This problem I have been dealing with since I was 16 finally has a reason; and even better, a solution. I’m 36 now. Married. With kids. Been with my wife for almost 12 years. Have dealt with varying levels of ED during this time. Viagra has helped and made it quite manageable for the last decade, but those effects seem to be waning. So glad I found this community.
Given my age and decades long struggle with this, I have lots of questions, worries, and concerns. I’ll use the next few posts to give more of a background of my life and struggles, and hopefully some of you guys can help with the answers.
The Beginning:
First started looking at porn when I was young, 9-10 years old. Didn’t see video porn until about 13, and Internet porn until about 14. First masturbated when I was 13. Eventually would mastrbate 6-7 times a week. First started becoming sexual around this time as well. Just oral sex. Wasn’t a problem during those years.
First tried to have PIV sec when I was 16. Struggled to get it up and couldn’t keep it up with a condom. Could never be erect enough to penetrate my partner. Totally embarrassing but easy to chalk up to nerves and condom usage.
Serious girlfriend when I was 17. She had previously had sex, so we quickly tried. Same ongoing condom problems. No problems with oral sex, but could feel almost nothing with condoms on. Could occasionally penetrate her, but never orgasmed from intercourse. Just blamed it on my body and how condoms feel.
Successful Sex:
In college I masturbated less because of roommates, but always with porn as it was my first access to high speed. All my masturbation since college has been to some type of Internet porn, pictures or videos.
2 serious girlfriends in college. First girlfriend was able to have almost daily sex with no condoms. Still struggled to get hard initially, and would sometimes go soft, but rarely would I not finish. Sometimes we would have sex more than once a day. On breaks I would PMO frequently.
we broke up and I spent a good 5-6 months PMO’ing once a day, more on weekends.
New GF after that time. Lots of successful sex with her, but same issues as before. Going soft, not getting hard initially, no condom usage.
After that relationship ending back to lots of PMO. Usually once a day, before going to bed. It was just part of my routine.
Met my current wife when I was 24. Lots of struggles to get an erection and keep it. Lots of going soft. After 6 months went to a doctor. Didn’t ask any questions and prescribed me viagra. That was May 2010. I’ve basically been using 50mg 3-4 times a week to have sex with varying degrees of effectiveness for the last 11 years.
Positives:
Negatives:
Since discovering PIED in August, I have not looked at porn or masturbated once. We have had sex about 10 times. Same as before. Mostly hard, able to finish, but not the rock hard erections I should be having, nor the sexual experience she or I want.
Questions:
Given my age and decades long struggle with this, I have lots of questions, worries, and concerns. I’ll use the next few posts to give more of a background of my life and struggles, and hopefully some of you guys can help with the answers.
The Beginning:
First started looking at porn when I was young, 9-10 years old. Didn’t see video porn until about 13, and Internet porn until about 14. First masturbated when I was 13. Eventually would mastrbate 6-7 times a week. First started becoming sexual around this time as well. Just oral sex. Wasn’t a problem during those years.
First tried to have PIV sec when I was 16. Struggled to get it up and couldn’t keep it up with a condom. Could never be erect enough to penetrate my partner. Totally embarrassing but easy to chalk up to nerves and condom usage.
Serious girlfriend when I was 17. She had previously had sex, so we quickly tried. Same ongoing condom problems. No problems with oral sex, but could feel almost nothing with condoms on. Could occasionally penetrate her, but never orgasmed from intercourse. Just blamed it on my body and how condoms feel.
Successful Sex:
In college I masturbated less because of roommates, but always with porn as it was my first access to high speed. All my masturbation since college has been to some type of Internet porn, pictures or videos.
2 serious girlfriends in college. First girlfriend was able to have almost daily sex with no condoms. Still struggled to get hard initially, and would sometimes go soft, but rarely would I not finish. Sometimes we would have sex more than once a day. On breaks I would PMO frequently.
we broke up and I spent a good 5-6 months PMO’ing once a day, more on weekends.
New GF after that time. Lots of successful sex with her, but same issues as before. Going soft, not getting hard initially, no condom usage.
After that relationship ending back to lots of PMO. Usually once a day, before going to bed. It was just part of my routine.
Met my current wife when I was 24. Lots of struggles to get an erection and keep it. Lots of going soft. After 6 months went to a doctor. Didn’t ask any questions and prescribed me viagra. That was May 2010. I’ve basically been using 50mg 3-4 times a week to have sex with varying degrees of effectiveness for the last 11 years.
Positives:
- Can get erections hard enough to have sex
- Can O from PIV and oral
- No porn usage at all since late August
- Porn usage never spiraled out of control
- Do not miss porn at all
- Erections sometimes 100%
- Have used condoms and O’ed with them with her in the last few months
Negatives:
- Very rare MW
- Almost no spontaneous erections
- Very few natural erections from being turned on. Wife could be naked and ready and I’m totally soft
- Oftentimes go soft with her on top, or switching positions
- Erections often only 60-80% hard
- I don’t feel any connection between brain and penis
- Length of time I have dealt with this not knowing why or a solution. I literally thought this was the way my body was made
Since discovering PIED in August, I have not looked at porn or masturbated once. We have had sex about 10 times. Same as before. Mostly hard, able to finish, but not the rock hard erections I should be having, nor the sexual experience she or I want.
Questions:
- NO P or M, but what about sex with O with my wife? Obviously that’s the end goal, but should I take a full 1-3 month break from O?
- If we do have sex, should I continue to use viagra at all? Without it, I have no confidence I can be ready for her when we have time.
- Rewiring still possible for someone that has experienced this PIED now for 20+ years?
