Another journal

R

rags

Member
Trying to quit PMO for the last 6 years and have been stuck in a reboot-relapse since then. Most likely it wont be any different this time as well. I still hope for the best ...
 
R

rags

Member
Unfortunately relapsed. Starting again from today. As it has been rightly said that desire is the cause of all suffering in this world, i need to understand this as soon as possible.
 
R

rags

Member
Fappy said:
what have been the principal causes for your relapses? can u see a pattern?
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I see mostly 2 reasons. When I feel frustrated after wasting too much time on playing chess or watching news. When this happens, I cannot fall asleep and I think it would be better to masturbate to release the stress. In the process, sometimes I end up watching porn as well. Next is when things are going well in my life, sometimes I get an urge that becomes hard to ignore because as I told things are going well, so why not watch some. Also the situation have changed for the worse since i made myself accept that masturbation is not as harmful as porn. Now i relapse more often, in as few as 2-3 weeks compared 2-3 months earlier. However, i would consider this a secondary problem.
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
rags said:
I see mostly 2 reasons. When I feel frustrated after wasting too much time on playing chess or watching news. When this happens, I cannot fall asleep and I think it would be better to masturbate to release the stress. In the process, sometimes I end up watching porn as well. Next is when things are going well in my life, sometimes I get an urge that becomes hard to ignore because as I told things are going well, so why not watch some. Also the situation have changed for the worse since i made myself accept that masturbation is not as harmful as porn. Now i relapse more often, in as few as 2-3 weeks compared 2-3 months earlier. However, i would consider this a secondary problem.
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that sounds like a typical cycle for PMO abusers. i know for one i had many such cycles.
the thing to remember and keep in mind at all times is that those reasons are not coming from you - that is not coming from your rational mind. thats the addicition trying to trick you into giving it what it wants. it really takes advantage of its host at times like the ones you mentioned. Hes tired...hmmm... ok ill put in his mind that he needs to PMO to feel better! or Hes had a good day... that means hes more open to the suggesstion of PMO!
It really is like being possessed by a malelovent entity, if you keep such a frame of mind, it will be easier to fight it.
 
R

rags

Member
Sometimes I feel very helpless that how can such a stupid and trivial thing can take control of our lives and we are able to do nothing about it except sit and watch.
 
R

rags

Member
By the way, I have completed my thesis and also 11 days done. That is the only little positive thing i have so to speak
 
R

rags

Member
Feeling very suffocated and depressed . Realising that there are lot of things in my life which need a correction. Even though 20 days have passed, I don't feel any superpowers.
 
M

msp0000

Member
rags said:
Feeling very suffocated and depressed . Realising that there are lot of things in my life which need a correction. Even though 20 days have passed, I don't feel any superpowers.
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hey man im new to this website and im only on day 11. feeling the same way as you, you're not in this alone!
 
R

rags

Member
More than a month has passed and not a lot has changed but still positive nonetheless. I realise I need to work hard as well otherwise it is very easy to fall back into old habits. Lately I have been feeling weak as I am getting urges and it is not so easy to convince myself to not take a peek. I need to be strong and hold on. This too shall pass.
 
R

rags

Member
I relapsed. The urges were haunting me since yesterday and I could not control myself. In retrospect, it happened because I was using social media, youtube, news, etc. more than required. This somehow led me to M and eventually P. Even though I dont think M is that bad, I need to stop it with full sincerity because of its connection with P. Starting again, this time with extra precaution
 
M

msp0000

Member
rags said:
I relapsed. The urges were haunting me since yesterday and I could not control myself. In retrospect, it happened because I was using social media, youtube, news, etc. more than required. This somehow led me to M and eventually P. Even though I dont think M is that bad, I need to stop it with full sincerity because of its connection with P. Starting again, this time with extra precaution
Click to expand...
It's ok man. Don't get discouraged. keep your head up and keep moving forward!
 
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