Age 21- 90 days no fap

[caster]

Hey guys, this is my first post here so heres a tiny bit of background.  Im 21 and I was a daily porn user from about 13-18.  I fit the profile of someone who stopped really enjoying porn and was just doing it to do it and watching things way beyond normal porn to get aroused.  When I got a girlfriend around 18 I came accross some things saying porn could be damaging and thought maybe that was the reason for my super low libido for my age.  I cut out all video but occasionally looked at pictures or fell off briefly but never anything intense.  I also still fantasized a lot even though my fantasies were somewhat forced.  Fast forward to today, I never got back into heavy stuff but a couple months ago I let myself slip and watch some scenes when I was watching movies and started fantasizing a lot and then it kind of escalated again.  For the last 3 weeks I have been watching porn (mild not hardcore) again and I can feel my performance slip with my girlfriend and by absolutely no way do I enjoy sex as much.  To be clear I never made a full 90 day reset but however far I get always seems to help.  Cutting out fantasies is also key for me. I will still be having sex with my girlfriend during this time.  So today I am taking accountability, I hope writing in my journal daily will hold me too it and you guys can see my progress as I go and hopefully guide me when it gets tough.  I WILL accomplish this..here goes.

Oct 14 DAY 1

 

[caster]

Thank you, I think signing up here and getting that counter will help a lot, especially through the flatlines

 

[qrayzHD]

You have a great advantage on your side by having a GF to rewire with, i look forward to seeing your progress and good luck.

 

[obber]

Just out of curiosity, is the girlfriend aware that you are trying to eliminate porn usage from your life?

I'll keep tabs on your topic. I look forward to seeing your progress as well. Good luck!

 

[caster]

Thanks for all the support guys.  Yes having a girlfriend does help forsure especially because she is sweet and understanding whenever something does go wrong, she naturally doesnt have a high sex drive so I also don't feel too much pressure from her.  Obber- No she isn't although I am super open with her and she knows almost everything private about me so If I feel its necessary I will tell her, also my problem isnt super deep rooted and I dont watch a ton of porn I am just really sensitive, I recover rather quick and I go downhill fast when viewing or fantasizing porn.  It may be deeper then I know but time will tell.  I think she would be uncomfortable hearing I have a porn 'addiction' as she is kind of clueless about that stuff and how guys are that way.  I also dont feel I have an addiction I can go long times without it, but I do enjoy it and its like a seesaw with my enjoyment of sex and performance.  The more I enjoy one the less I enjoy the other

 

[qrayzHD]

I wasn't addicted to porn but i watched it every night, you don't need to be addicted for it to rewire your brain.

 

[caster]

qrayz I agree 100%

 

[caster]

My libido has been great the last couple days.  No desire to masturbate, desire to have sex with my girlfriend (not sure how it would actually go) but lack of oppurtinity

 

[caster]

Same deal today, libido solid but no chance for sex.  Was tempted to masturbate but went and occupied myself

 

[miomio]

To be clear I never made a full 90 day reset but however far I get always seems to help.  Cutting out fantasies is also key for me. I will still be having sex with my girlfriend during this time.  So today I am taking accountability, I hope writing in my journal daily will hold me too it and you guys can see my progress as I go and hopefully guide me when it gets tough.  I WILL accomplish this..here goes.

Oct 14 DAY 1

I can't stress this enough, be modest with your goals! Have you considered breaking up your reboot into small steps? I'm currently going by two-week stretches, in order to reward myself early and keep motivation high.

 

[caster]

Ya man Ive gradually tapered off over the last couple years but as soon as I start I always realize how beneficial it is for me then start to lose sight of it as time goes on.  Thats why I am joining here so I can have help when Im struggling and make note of any positive progress.

Update:  Woke up with a powerful morning boner due to some very vivid sex dreams havent had sex dreams like that since at least a month ago

 

[caster]

Hung out with my girlfriend today and absolutely feel better already.  I was trying to have sex with her all day, and we finally did in the evening and it was way better then it has been in the last month or so since I fell off.  This is definately something I need to stay the course, sex is SO much better then masturbating

 

[caster]

Since ive had sex, the last couple days my libido has been much lower.  This is when it gets tough and you have moments of doubt if you'll ever feel normal :/.  Gotta keep the big picture in my mind and stay strong, it sure is helpful seeing that green bar and percent fill up 1% everyday

 

[caster]

I start to question wether or not things I do affect my libido, for example im an avid gym goer, and naturally skinny so Im trying to pack on some solid muscle but its hard for me to gain weight.  So I have to eat ALOT of food and I wonder if it will affect my libido even though in the past it hasnt..  O well I can always stop if it does

 

[caster]

morning wood has been non existent the last couple days, kinda bothersom Im hoping this is due to my brain rewiring..

 

[caster]

Thinks got better thankfully after a few days.  Stayed strong, little things about my girlfriend turn me on more already definately worth it so far

 

[caster]

This last few days has been terrible.  I dont know if its because Ive eaten crappy or maybe hormonal but damn have I been feeling anxious and depressed.  I dont know if porn had that much of a hold on me but I wouldnt doubt if I underestimated it.  I almost broke yesterday because I was feeling sorry for myself but held strong in the end.  I hope this passes super soon

 

[caster]

Moods been a little better the last couple days but still feeling down.  Im officially going through a flatline and damn its scary.  Just wondering if youll ever feel normal.  At least Im almost at the 20 day mark!

 

[caster]

Girlfriend was over yesterday actually had some pretty satisfying sex with her we were both really into it and I didnt have any of that uncomfortable feeling of trying to stay hard it felt natural.  I notice my libido is often MIA during the day but comes out when Im with her more often then not which is nice but sometimes scary at the same time

Mood is still rather unstable BUT I definately can't guarantee this is the cause as I do have a LOT going on in my personal life right now.  I feel like this next year will be the most challenging mentally and physically of my life but If I pull through I will be a new man!

 

[LS90]

I'm an avid gym goer myself and I'm pretty skinny as well. We have to eat "loads" (well, just go a 10-20% over our normal calories intake!) but not necessarily crappy food!

I've flatlined from day 20 to 60, back and forth back and forth. I actually had more troubles keeping focused on those days rather than in the first week.

ps: Gym and a healthy diet lifestyle though is the best OCD we can have, I guess. I think if we don't sub an addiction with another one we're not happy eheh.