An Indian Male's Reboot Journal

Ani7

Ani7

Member
Hello Reboot Nation, I am an 25 years old indian male. I am watching porn since 16 years of age. At the outset, it was basically soft porn and erotic literature, Erotic Hindi comics, magazines etc. Then I used to go to the internet shops where they used to give you 1 gb of porn for 20-30 rupees and so on. But the things get real serious with the advent of jio's free internet data plans. Now there was unlimited access for me to watch whatever I want and thats how I fall into the trap of porn addiction.

I used to be a deeply religious boy and earlier I used to feel guilty for masturbation but gradually I lost all shame and then there was a time when I used to think its good for my health.

In India, we have a concept of Brahmacharya (celibacy ) which every student should follow. I used to follow it, but never more than a couple of weeks. My highest was over 1 month in 2021.

But from yesterday I have started taking it seriously and thats how my nofap challenege begins.
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
Day 1 was easy. I didn't have much issue. The first thing I did was to delete all the major social media platform which are basically useless and attracts me towards porn mainly facebook and instagram.

I have also downloaded an app named 'Quitzilla' which shows how much time I have spent without watching porn. It has a feature where you can add the hours you spent in doing useful productive stuff like playing or reading etc. you can add the times and it will help you keep a track of your progress.

I wanted to start a journal and thats why I am writing all this here now. I'll share my updates regularly and let you know about my progress.

Also, if anyone knows about any free courses on porn addiction kindly share.
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Namaste!
yeah those progress apps are a great tool for motivation, keep using that for sure - look at it as many times a day as you need to in order to keep motivated.
keep jounralling too and getting all that stuff out of your head everyday, it really helps.
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
Day 1 was easy. I didn't have much issue. The first thing I did was to delete all the major social media platform which are basically useless and attracts me towards porn mainly facebook and instagram.

I have also downloaded an app named 'Quitzilla' which shows how much time I have spent without watching porn. It has a feature where you can add the hours you spent in doing useful productive stuff like playing or reading etc. you can add the times and it will help you keep a track of your progress.

I wanted to start a journal and thats why I am writing all this here now. I'll share my updates regularly and let you know about my progress.

Also, if anyone knows about any free courses on porn addiction kindly share.
Fappy said:
Namaste!
yeah those progress apps are a great tool for motivation, keep using that for sure - look at it as many times a day as you need to in order to keep motivated.
keep jounralling too and getting all that stuff out of your head everyday, it really helps.
Click to expand...
Thanks..Will do that
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
DAY 2

The urges were not that much stronger today. But I was feeling like shit!! Bored, sad and angry!!!

I did my regular work and study but still i didn't feel much energized today. Though it feels good that now I am not wasting my time on fapping. It is very encouraging actually.

I am still feeling a bit disappointed..Just don't know the reason why!! It feels like I have missed something important. I know its my urges knocking on the door, but this time I am aware and i am not going to let it control myself.

A big thanks to all the fellow rebooters who showed their support for me. I am really thankful to you guys 🙏☺

There was no one whom I can share these issues. I don't about other western countries but here in India, it is really tough. People just don't understand and start judging you. Now as I shared my problems here I am truly feeling relaxed and relieved.
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
There is a technique which I am following right now. I think it can be beneficial for you too. It is not a new one..I have read somewhere this technique has originated from a story of Lord Buddha.

The story goes like this

Buddha, who was known as prince Siddhartha in Sakya Kingdom once organised a great feast. Men, Women and girls from different kingdoms were invited. Different types of enjoyments were there ranging from music, food wine and so on. Whole night they danced and enjoyed.

When the next morning Siddhartha gets up and look around he finds to his surprise that all the women and girls who were looking like angles the other night are sleeping there senselessly. Some are sleeping on their own vomit. Their makeup was gone. There are dark circles and wrinkles on their face and they look so bad that no one in the right mind would like to look at their faces.

From this Buddha realized that everyone will age in the course of time and the lust of skin and body is useless.

From this story I have found a technique. Whenever I come across a girl who is very beautiful and I feel sexual urges inside me, instantly I started imaging what would she look like without the makeup. She too have smelling armpits, maybe she dont take bath for days and use the same undergarment again and again. She is a human being like me afterall, the issues I have, the things I try to hide through bodyspay and all she does the same. She is not an angle.

This simple thought helps me break away from the urges. You can try this too.

Also, let me know what other techniques do you follow.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Welcome to the forum, Ani7!

At times it will feel like you're motivated and hopeful toward your new porn-free self. At other times (and maybe this is where your anger comes from?) you will feel like you want to use, want to look at that crap.

This might seem confusing, like you're two different people. It's just that two different parts of your brain are after different goals.

The lower 'animal-brain' wants it's dopamine hits from the porn, and the highter cerebral 'logical-brain' knows that's bad and wants to change.

You can override the lower brain, and outlast any urge.

Grateful for your efforts, and stand with you as you reestablish your 'higher' spiritual self!
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
Phineas 808 said:
Welcome to the forum, Ani7!

At times it will feel like you're motivated and hopeful toward your new porn-free self. At other times (and maybe this is where your anger comes from?) you will feel like you want to use, want to look at that crap.

This might seem confusing, like you're two different people. It's just that two different parts of your brain are after different goals.

The lower 'animal-brain' wants it's dopamine hits from the porn, and the highter cerebral 'logical-brain' knows that's bad and wants to change.

You can override the lower brain, and outlast any urge.

Grateful for your efforts, and stand with you as you reestablish your 'higher' spiritual self!
Click to expand...
Yess. You are right. Its this inner tussle which is making me restless.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Ani7 said:
From this story I have found a technique. Whenever I come across a girl who is very beautiful and I feel sexual urges inside me, instantly I started imaging...
Click to expand...

That's a great technique! You can also do this at night if fantasies tempt you toward P or MO. You can 'age enhance' these fantasy women, and what appears as beautiful angel (like 'Mara') you can see as a decrepit old hag, and then you'll turn over and go to sleep!

I did something similar in my youth, when I had a fantasy coming to me to tempt, I imagined the future and God throwing the characters in the fantasy into hell, etc... or imagine running a sword through the fantasized images.

It works...!
 
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Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Ani7 said:
DAY 3

So far its going good. In the morning I was feeling slight urges (due to YT shorts and sensual adv) but I instantly close them and controlled it.
Click to expand...
excellent! smash those urges before they can do some real damage. close them and even walk away from the computer if you need to.
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
I am having an issue. Whenever I am angry or sad, I am feeling like I don't have ways to get that negative feeling out. Earlier I used to fap to get rid of the sadness. But now without it, I am feeling very hollow.

Please help me and tell me how can i get channelize my negative emotions.

I thought writing would be a good alternative, thats why writing it here.
 
Z

zackergeet

Active Member
Ani7 said:
I am having an issue. Whenever I am angry or sad, I am feeling like I don't have ways to get that negative feeling out. Earlier I used to fap to get rid of the sadness. But now without it, I am feeling very hollow.

Please help me and tell me how can i get channelize my negative emotions.

I thought writing would be a good alternative, thats why writing it here.
Click to expand...
Hey @Ani7 I know the feeling brother l, I used to fap whenever I felt sad or even bored that only way to stop doing it is to understand why you want to stop fapping. I stopped faping because unfortunately I developed PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) and this was huge impact for me cause I could not perform with a girl. What about you? Do you want to quit because you have been seeing negative results like that? Perhaps you spend too much time with porn and you don’t socialize? Answer that question and work towards to your goal. If your question is how to stop the trigger there are plenty of ideas like doing exercises, going to the gym, trying to be outside as much as possible and going to sleep early but never forget the motivation so you don’t relapse. You can do it!
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
Yes..I am seeing adverse negative results and thats the motivation for me to stop. You are right I myself have to deal with this issue. I am not going to give free depomine to my body, it has to earn the dopamine through activity
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Ani7 said:
I am having an issue. Whenever I am angry or sad, I am feeling like I don't have ways to get that negative feeling out. Earlier I used to fap to get rid of the sadness. But now without it, I am feeling very hollow.

Please help me and tell me how can i get channelize my negative emotions.

I thought writing would be a good alternative, thats why writing it here.
Click to expand...
yeah thats the fap cycle. feel bad - fap - feel bad because of fapping - fap again - rinse, and repeat. it seems like it will never end once you get caught in the fap-cycle, but you can put an end to it.
yeah you gotta "channelize" that shit mate. as for how, try ANYTHING. seriously anything that you can give your complete undivided attention to is perfect. you need to get your mind away from PMO at any cost. the negative emotions are because of porn, if you realize that, and just how serious that is, then youll do anything and everything to distract yourself form it until the urges pass. for example, start a new hobby, learn something new, exercise etc are all good. writing is good too as it has a way of "exorcising" the demons of porn addiction, gets them out of your head and onto the screen.
another point, this addiction is very very sneaky and will use all different tricks to get you to give it what it wants. you may not actually be feeling sad or angry in reality, but porn addiction has a knack of twisting our reality and creating these negative emotional triggers in us as a means of getting us to relapse. youve got to be very careful and be aware of all these filthy tricks.
anyway congrats on the progress, one day at a time. and remember the words of wise fappy: a day without porn has been a good day! (feel free to quote me on that)
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
Day 4

Day 4 completed😁.. There were no urges. It went smoothly. Also, I was feeling motivated and energized today.
 
Ani7

Ani7

Member
DAY 5

Finally reached day 5 folks!!! Yyyyaaayyy!!

It was a productive day. My mood was superb!!! Fully energized and ready to win the world.😁

I have decided to treat myself upon completing the first week of my reboot journey. 😁

Also, I have taken up a few hobbies..Currently I am listening to 'Ikigai' on audible and going for walks regularly.

More updates coming soon...Stay tuned 😁
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