Hi all,
my man and I try to fight all this for more than a year now. Our relationship is not much longer than that.
He hasn't watched porn or masturbated for about a year. We went from 4 months cold turkey, to no orgasms for him, to weird things in between.
But things became really unnatural and predictable.
He has basically no libido in about 6, 7 months now.
I struggled with all the common issues, insomnia, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, trust issues, tearfulness, name it I got it.
And he tried his very best to try to support me with those.
However, he seems very stubborn in trying things that might be helpful for him.
I begged him to try all those things, talk to somebody here on the forum, try counselling, mindfulness, a diary, get his testosterone tested, sex/couple therapy, everything.
He is convinced that he just needs time and that all of those mentioned things won't do a thing. He wants time and no orgasms, or no sex.
I am losing my hope in all this. Even if all those things I am suggesting don't help but he would at least show me that he gives it a try.
I think he'll try therapy now, for one session he says. But yeah, I am losing hope.
He knows I would do everything for him. I am not sure if he would though...
I feel completely out of control... I am seeing a counsellor, bought a book, am in touch with a woman from this forum, write a diary... but obviously all this won't solve his problem.
I know I can't push him to something and he has his own struggle with all this but what does he expect from me?!
He also is opposed to the idea of me sexually seeing other people to maybe take the pressure of him.
We are currently on a break, trying to give each other time to think things through, to decide what's best for us.
Everybody just tells me to leave...
But I love him. We planned a future together, wanted to get married, travel the world, have kids...
I am desperate for any advice or similar experiences.
If I leave now, what was this all worth? I would feel used and thrown away
Sorry for this depressing post but I don't know what to do with myself.
Lila
my man and I try to fight all this for more than a year now. Our relationship is not much longer than that.
He hasn't watched porn or masturbated for about a year. We went from 4 months cold turkey, to no orgasms for him, to weird things in between.
But things became really unnatural and predictable.
He has basically no libido in about 6, 7 months now.
I struggled with all the common issues, insomnia, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, trust issues, tearfulness, name it I got it.
And he tried his very best to try to support me with those.
However, he seems very stubborn in trying things that might be helpful for him.
I begged him to try all those things, talk to somebody here on the forum, try counselling, mindfulness, a diary, get his testosterone tested, sex/couple therapy, everything.
He is convinced that he just needs time and that all of those mentioned things won't do a thing. He wants time and no orgasms, or no sex.
I am losing my hope in all this. Even if all those things I am suggesting don't help but he would at least show me that he gives it a try.
I think he'll try therapy now, for one session he says. But yeah, I am losing hope.
He knows I would do everything for him. I am not sure if he would though...
I feel completely out of control... I am seeing a counsellor, bought a book, am in touch with a woman from this forum, write a diary... but obviously all this won't solve his problem.
I know I can't push him to something and he has his own struggle with all this but what does he expect from me?!
He also is opposed to the idea of me sexually seeing other people to maybe take the pressure of him.
We are currently on a break, trying to give each other time to think things through, to decide what's best for us.
Everybody just tells me to leave...
But I love him. We planned a future together, wanted to get married, travel the world, have kids...
I am desperate for any advice or similar experiences.
If I leave now, what was this all worth? I would feel used and thrown away
Sorry for this depressing post but I don't know what to do with myself.
Lila