Time for A Fresh Start

[Recovery101]

Day 12
So last night one reason I did not relapse was I was watching this show called Jessie on Disney Channel Cuz y not, and I saw the most beautiful girl who guest starred. I looked her up on google and said to myself "one day I want to meet someone this pretty" then I realized that was not going to happen with getting over my PMO Addiction. So now I found another motive to push me into getting over PMO and I have become more determined to do so. Today, I was mostly out of the house because it's my little sister's 11th b-day. We had lunch at the Cheese Cake Factory, and personally I give them 4.5-5 Stars. XD So the urges were really small today because Im focused on other things. I started working out again today becuz it's one of my New Year's Resolutions. And it feels great. It really takes some stress out, and give u a bit more confidence in yourself. Remember when I talked about my ance issues? Well if u do, they have gotten ALOT BETTER! They are starting to fade and dry up. What I'm really concerned about now are the scars they have left behind. If anyone who is reading this has a natural way to get rid of ance scars or any other advice plz feel free to post. Until next time-Rec101

 

[The320Pilot]

Go to a dermatologist.

 

[Recovery101]

Day 15
The urges go on and off. For the past couple days, I haven't felt the urges that much cuz I've been pretty busy. I started working out again 2 days ago. It feels good. The stress just fades away. I know this is a short post, but I don't really have much to post. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Catch a Body]

Good job Recovery101

 

[Innocence]

It's great to see you're working out again!

Keep that up man, I also feel the urges when I'm in less of a good mood but exercise works great for that

Just noticed you almost reached your goal and that's great!
Let's try to keep this up together as we're at the same amount of days

 

[Recovery101]

Day 21
Well I can honestly say, damn....I did not think I would make it this far. Maybe I should start having more self confidence. The urges are only really there if I think about them. Other than that, they are practically gone! In other news, I've been working out and feeling great. There more free time in my hands to do other things more productive. My health is doing pretty ok...my back pains are somehow getting worse-ish, but the old saying is things have go get worse before they get better right? So hopefully that clears up a bit of the pain. So one advice I would give to all of you guys out there struggling with relapsing is to find something or someone you're willing to commit yourself to. It may seem like hell at first, but eventually things will look up...-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 25
So today I went on my first date!  ;D I feel like I can do anything now.  If you're wondering what we did, all we did was watch a movie and get frozen yogurt afterwards. It might not be a big fancy restaurant, but that's the best could afford with my allowance. Lol. So that's how I spent my Friday Night. Anyway, on to recovery. 2 days ago I had a wet dream, but there were barely any urges after that. Yesterday, fantasies of P kept flashing in and out of my head, but I try to think about something else. The urges were very strong today before and after my date. But when I was on my date, her beauty kept my mind off the urges. Lol. I've also started to get into playing basketball. I can now do crossovers (don't judge man, took me a long time to perfect it). But when I play basketball or do any physical activity, too long my back starts to hurt. I knew that lower back pain is one of the symptoms of PMO. Does anyone else have lower back problems from PMO too? If so, have you gotten over it? Feel free to post below. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Catch a Body]

Tell me how I live at the university and I spent my Friday night smoking weed and chilling with  my roommate haha. Congrats kids

 

[Recovery101]

Day 31
Feeling absolutely AMAZING! I've made it through my first month of this reboot! The urges are non-existent unless I think about it. Same with the urges. My lower back pain has eased a bit, and I feel energetic and happy. Before I go any further, sorry I haven't been posting as much. 8th Grade is more stressful than it seems. I've had so much homework and little free time. Its getting pretty late, I'll try to post tomorrow night too. Until next time -Rec101

 

[Catch a Body]

Ha wait till youre in university little buddy. Its gonna get hectic! Having this addiction and brain fog in Uni is killing me!

 

[Recovery101]

Day 33
The urges come and go, but they're not huge urges. The flashbacks pop in at the most random moments. It's really frustrating when they do pop up, but I try to stray from the thoughts and continue of with my day. Other than those, I'm feeling great! Today I went to Guitar Center and bought a new set of strings for my Fender Acoustic. I didn't get them on Cuz they broke, and this is the 3rd time I've tried to put them on. It's very frustrating, but I learned. Now, I'm going to have to buy new strings again. Anyway, thanks to the people who take time to read my journal and take time to post on it. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 42
It's been awhile since I've posted so I thought to myself it's about time that I do. Now there are many reasons to why I haven't been posting: 1. I am getting very busy 2.im lazy and I keep putting it off. I will try to post as often as I can, but that might be once a week of so. Now that that's out of the way, I haven't really been noticing any of the symptoms of the reboot besides the flatline. Is that happening to you guys too? Feel free to let me know. Anyway, I feel great. The back pain is still there tho, but I am hoping that it will eventually go away. The urges are small, but still existent. I am practing basketball to try out for the team next fall. Hopefully I make it lol. Also I'm focusing on my music. I want to form a band with my friends and play gigs and stuff. Everytime I'm not doing homework or playing basketball, I'm on my guitar learning scales, solos, you name it becuz my dad wants me to play drums when summer comes and I don't want to disappoint him. Thanks for taking time to read this. Until next time-Rec 101
P.S. That was the dumbest play call in NFL History. Why didn't the Seahawks just run it in?!?!

 

[Recovery101]

Day 47
I don't ussually post in the morning, but I thought this would be a better time than ever Cuz I had 2 wet dreams in a row. Is that supposed to mean something? Plz help. The urges and flashbacks are popping in n out of my brain, but only when I'm bored. The urges are pretty small, so I can control them. I also sprained my finger playing basketball yesterday. Hurts like hell rightnow, but I'm not getting it checked out until Monday. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 52
Yeahhhh!! Finally hit 50! I know I'm a little late, hey I reached fucking 50 days, cut me some slack. Lol. First, let's get down to business. The urges and flash backs come and go, but the urges were VERY STRONG last weekend. The urges just jump up and down. One moment your just minding your business, then out of nowhere, you wanna have sex. Like it's just weird man.... Other than that, my lower back pain has eased ALOT! It's in between where you can feel it, but barely, like it's not even there. The girls at my school are actually real people again and not just sex toys! I can once again have a nice conversation with a girl and not feel awkward or think about having sex with her all the time. On Friday night, I will be going on another date! Super Pumped for that! I don't feel so alone anymore. But one of the negative things I have been noticing is that I've been getting easily agitated or irritated. I don't know whether it's one of the symptoms of the reboot or if it's just me being a teenager. Hopefully, it will pass over soon. I have gone too far to start over again-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 57
For the past couple of days the urges have been pretty bad. It's been so bad that I even started touching myself for a couple of seconds. Then I realized that I've gone too far to go back now, and that the reason I'm doing this is for my dream girl to love me back. I don't know whether it's my REAL libido or just the force of habit of PMO. I have been fighting them of, but they are getting closer and closer to making me relapse. I just have to stay true to myself and just say no. I know I can over come them, but only with God's help. Im pretty sure one of my triggers is sitting on the couch and playing video games Cuz I used to PMO doing that. And I kno what you're thinking, "Dafuq is wrong with this kid?" I don't blame you for thinking that. When I'm doing something else, the urges aren't there. Hopefully, in the future I will be able to play video games in peace and not have the slightest thought of PMO. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 71
As I feel more cured, the less I go on the this site. To be honest it feels good to be back on this site because I like to support others here, but I've been slacking on that lately. The past week has been stressing with multiple test for school and stuff, so I hadn't found much time to be on here. First off, I feel fantastic to say the least. The urges and flashback barely show up and when they do, I take them out of my mind immediately. I've been gaining more energy. My eyes are becoming normal-ish again becuz they were a bit sunken before. My lower back pain is starting to come back, but I'm hoping it's all part of the recovery process. My acne has started to dry up. My confidence with girls has been off the charts. I feel like my female friends are all coming back to me, and I actually see them as people again. I have made new friends also. I've been on a couple dates with this really cute girl at my school. Everytime I'm around her, I get that warm fuzzy feeling and butterflies in my stomach....I always end up embarrassing my self in front of her tho ( in a cute flirty way of course). To sum it all up I really like her. Today, I had to take 3 test. 1. Is an Honors Placement Test to be able to take Honors English and History for Freshman Year. 2. Math Test. 3. History Test. School causes a lot of stress. I hope it gets easier in Highschool. Lol. I will try to post here and on other people's journals  more frequently. Until next time-Rec101

 

[Recovery101]

Day 137
I'm back. I accidentally stumbled on a trigger and now I'm in a lot of trouble. The urges are coming back. I don't know how long I can keep my streak going. Everywhere I try to go, I keep feeling the need to Pmo again. My heart knows I don't want to, but my mind tells a different story. I need help.

 

[Recovery101]

Day 137 (relapse)
I don't know what to say...the urges...they got to me. But now I know what avoid and how to make myself stronger. I relapsed hard. 2 pmo's in 1 day. I need to get back on track. I have to beat 137 days. This is a new beginning!

 

[Recovery101]

Day 0 (Part1)
It's time I use this downfall to see what I need to fix. Starting over is the hardest thing of all. Making it past those first 2 weeks can be a nightmare if you don't have a plan. Unlike me from about a year ago, I have a plan. Excercise when u wake up, go to school, after school I do homework, play guitar,sleep, then excercise again. I also have to eat healthy and avoid triggers. I just hope this won't affect my social life that much...
-Rec101

 

[justDONTdoit]

I just joined this forum. I quickly looked through your journal. I hope you beat your goal, feeling defeated is a great motivation; use it to your advantage. Good luck bud.