Hello, I am currently a 14 year old in high school, I have been addicted since I was 9 years old. I am so addicted that I can't even think straight. I need help. I can't find the strength to even tell anyone in real life because it's so embarrassing. It drains all the energy out of me, it drains all the discipline out of me, the creativity. Everything. I've kept trying every now and then, I keep telling myself this time it'll be different, it never is different. I can never last longer than 5 days. It sucks so much. I hate it. I want to exercise to keep my mind off it but I'm too tired to do it. I want to study and try to get good grades, I'm too tired. I want to commit to things, I'm too tired. I just need someone to tell me that I can do it, I need someone to help me throughout my journey. I hate that I'm like this, I hate that I can't quit and I hate that everything is coming at me at once. I'm probably gonna regret posting this later but right now I just can't bare it. Everything is so cold, every little thing is so annoying, I can't focus on something for more than a few seconds, my grades are declining. Honestly I really hope this journal will keep me in line