dontlookatme9
Member
I was a 11 years old at the time. I honestly hadn't had any sexual desires up until one night. I had a dream that I honestly can't explain. Somehow, this dream gave me an arousing feeling that I hadn't experienced before. It was a feeling of delight.
That next night, I started masturbating almost by instinct. I really had no clue about the subject, but I was doing it and it felt good. I started fantasizing about different situations. I had no idea that this was a sex act.
Fast forward a year, I was masturbating one morning and then it happened. I was filled with terror, pleasure, and disgust all at the same time. I felt something in my underwear and I immediately rushed to the bathroom.
I knew about sex, but I really had no idea about ejaculation. I seriously thought that I had an infection or something. I didn't dare tell my parents because I was afraid (and stupid).
So I soon realized that it fell good, etc etc.
I was also living in fear about this new habit. I was worried that it was going to cause medical problems and things of that nature.
So several years later, I got a tablet and immediately got hooked on porn. I started struggling with SSA at this time (I do not identify as gay btw) so I was looking and straight and gay porn I was looking at all sorts of filth.
I would of course get off of it and beg God to forgive me, and of course get right back on it.
This has been my life since a week ago. I decided it was time to stop. I will probably stumble along the way, but I am not letting the temptation get to me. Even while I write this, I would really like to watch some porn and masturbate, but I will resist. I pray that God continues to give me strength.
That next night, I started masturbating almost by instinct. I really had no clue about the subject, but I was doing it and it felt good. I started fantasizing about different situations. I had no idea that this was a sex act.
Fast forward a year, I was masturbating one morning and then it happened. I was filled with terror, pleasure, and disgust all at the same time. I felt something in my underwear and I immediately rushed to the bathroom.
I knew about sex, but I really had no idea about ejaculation. I seriously thought that I had an infection or something. I didn't dare tell my parents because I was afraid (and stupid).
So I soon realized that it fell good, etc etc.
I was also living in fear about this new habit. I was worried that it was going to cause medical problems and things of that nature.
So several years later, I got a tablet and immediately got hooked on porn. I started struggling with SSA at this time (I do not identify as gay btw) so I was looking and straight and gay porn I was looking at all sorts of filth.
I would of course get off of it and beg God to forgive me, and of course get right back on it.
This has been my life since a week ago. I decided it was time to stop. I will probably stumble along the way, but I am not letting the temptation get to me. Even while I write this, I would really like to watch some porn and masturbate, but I will resist. I pray that God continues to give me strength.