Day 47, why does everything still suck so bad

B

bakahatsu23

Member
Title, the cravings come back harder every time and while I've made it over two weeks further than ever before part of me still wants to give in, when will that part of me shut up for good? I don't have any of the positive changes described all over the place, but I certainly have all the withdrawals. I still know I'm a porn addict but god is it hard to keep myself going when I'm not even seeing any benefits.
 
S

Stiffy999

Active Member
bakahatsu23 said:
Title, the cravings come back harder every time and while I've made it over two weeks further than ever before part of me still wants to give in, when will that part of me shut up for good? I don't have any of the positive changes described all over the place, but I certainly have all the withdrawals. I still know I'm a porn addict but god is it hard to keep myself going when I'm not even seeing any benefits.
Click to expand...
What do you expect ? You think that 47 days is too long ?
Firstly,NoFap isn't some magical thing that gives you superpowers rather it's a tool you use to fix your dick(life).You are the repairer of your life not NoFap.If your cravings are too strong,it means that you are still lazy and unproductive just as you were before 47 days,while you were watching porn.That is the same,lazy and unambitious person who finally did something beneficial for their life and now wants to ruin it by watching porn again.If you stay that same person,cravings will never go away,so you must change your lifestyle if you want to see any benefits,besides eliminating porn you need to start exercising,reading a book,doing some sports,hanging out with friends or family,jogging, playing an instrument,writing a poem or whatever hobby you like that doesn't involve you using your phone while laying in bed or sitting in front of your computer screen.Also when you feel confident it's important to find a partner for rewiring.The point of my reply is for you to understand that you are only at the beginning of your journey and shouldn't expect any changes yet nor think about it right now, Gabe needed 9 months for sex and 15 for full recovery,I needed 11 months for sex and still not 100% recovered but both of us and many other rebooters here still go NoFap lifestyle even after 330 days.
 
Last edited:
M

MrTibs

Member
I’m 6 days in. Your showing me that someone can make it that far. Prove to me I can go further please!!! My triggers are so hurried in my head. And worst is I just started getting headaches from withdraw.
 
B

bakahatsu23

Member
MrTibs said:
I’m 6 days in. Your showing me that someone can make it that far. Prove to me I can go further please!!! My triggers are so hurried in my head. And worst is I just started getting headaches from withdraw.
Click to expand...
If you can make it a day, you can make it a week, if you can make it a week, you can make it a month, if you can make it a month, you can make it a year. Just keep pushing, it may take you a few relapses or it may take just these few words, but soon you'll realise the pain of the relapse, which lasts several hundreds of times longer, isn't worth the tiny, tiny boost you feel during a relapse.
 
B

bakahatsu23

Member
MrTibs said:
Thank you Brother. [REDACTED]. For me I went I was coerced into the [REDACTED] genre and it really changed how I viewed women Or how they effected me. So I guess finding something to view or occupy me to fight off the thoughts pushed into my head is my next hurdle. I have been hurried in podcasts and audio books. Any recommendations? Words you say to yourself when you do see a trigger ?
Click to expand...
No idea what [REDACTED] is but it can't be much worse than what I gradually devolved into watching, so no judgement here. Your views on women will gradually and naturally recover; a few months ago when I first realised I had a problem I couldn't even imagine finding a real woman attractive, but I frequently see women I find insanely attractive on the street, or in a market, or wherever I happen to be. The same will happen to you. I don't try to occupy myself or fight off the thoughts, because the way I see it, if I keep pretending it doesn't exist, I'll never get better. Rather than occupying myself with something else, I sit there with the thoughts, accept them as a reminder of who I used to be, and simply move on. To dwell on an addiction, whether that may be "I suck so much for thinking this", "Why won't this thought go away" or even "Is this really worth it", is to give it power. If you're thinking about trying not to think of porn, you're still thinking of porn. Let it come, let it pass.
 
Last edited:
Billy T. Kidd

Billy T. Kidd

Member
There is no hard science that sets how long it takes to want it less than to want it more, but, many people say at around 90 days your brain starts to bend back to pre porn normal. Having quit many years ago, I can assure you that there is a "tipping point" out there where you wake up one day and porn simply does not occur to you; it is not a thing you fight anymore; you don't miss it, you don't want it. The fact that it does suck, that is a good sign, that is a withdrawal symptom. That means you are not feeding the problem. Withdrawals are not gradual. It is not like on day 1 they are 100% painful, day 2, 99%, etc, down to 0%. You are going to have good days and bad, even after you are over the hump. It gets easy, actually, but it does take, at least, a few months, as in at least 3. Keep pushing forward, easy is out ahead of you.

Much love.

Will I AM
 
Last edited:
O

otanerferguson

Active Member
I agree with the guys here. 47 days is still early. It took 185 days for me to be able to say I was out of the woods, ED gone, flatline gone, and six more months to truly enjoy sex with my wife. Stay the course. One day it just goes away.

Build a daily routine to hydrate, exercise, take walks, eat wholesome and varied unprocessed foods, commune with nature, talk to women in person, do box breathing, show love to those close to you, family or not. Also, more and more I think that a vagus nerve reset could help with the flatline. You could give that a try.

You will come out of this stronger and better overall.
 
M

MrTibs

Member
185 days. That’s awesome. Congratulations. So the question is. When is it safe to have sex with your partner. Since we are quitting. Does that mean I have to stay away for a set time? Or just Fapping and Porn is the no go?
 
O

otanerferguson

Active Member
MrTibs said:
185 days. That’s awesome. Congratulations. So the question is. When is it safe to have sex with your partner. Since we are quitting. Does that mean I have to stay away for a set time? Or just Fapping and Porn is the no go?
Click to expand...

I found that sex at any point (if ED allows) is positive because it helps you rewire to your woman. However, in my case, having an orgasm at the first sign of recovery around the 50 day mark set me back sending me into a 52 day flatline with powerful ED. It truly felt like I had started over. So when I was able to get hard again and had somewhat of a libido, around day 107, we started having a lot of sex with my wife but I held off on orgasm for myself for at least 10 successful sex sessions where she could have various orgasms with me having none. I did not go back into another flatline after that except for one time recently (read on). We made the decision with my wife that sexuality for me would only mean penis in vagina, no oral, no handjobs, no titty fucking or anything that resembled the act of masturbation lest those pathways got activated. That did the trick. A couple of months back a weird flatline showed it's ugly mug again without me relapsing or anything. I did the vagus nerve exercises for some other reason and that day it was gone. I don't know if it was a coincidence but that's why I am recommending vagus nerve reset exercises left and right for flatlines. Only recently we've started to relax the penis in vagina rule and started to get more creative.
 
Last edited:
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Just give it some more time. 2 weeks is still quite early in the process to be seeing definite results, escpecially if you’ve got a history of long term porn abuse. Give it a little more time and just remember that it does work and you will get better
 
B

bakahatsu23

Member
Fappy said:
Just give it some more time. 2 weeks is still quite early in the process to be seeing definite results, escpecially if you’ve got a history of long term porn abuse. Give it a little more time and just remember that it does work and you will get better
Click to expand...
I'm 7 weeks and 2 days in though
 
R

RJ64

Member
Quitting is tough. A suggestion would be to have zero tolerance for having fantasies in your head. Raise your awareness that when you go there just get rid of that thought immediately. Fantasizing leads to relapse
 
T

TurningAway

Member
One thing to make sure none of us forget is that porn was filling a void, it was taking up time we could have all been doing something else. Anything else for that matter that was actually productive. The best thing you can do is pick up in all other aspects of your life, time with friends, family, hobbies, learning, reading, I realized I had hours to fill with other activities once porn was gone. Overall it gets better, but sometimes there are steps or stumbles backwards for the suck factor and how difficult it is... stay the course! You got this!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top