Help please

[Nick Dillz]

I am on the verge of losing my wife and really destroying what has and could have been a great relationship. We have been married 15 years, today actually. Last night we went to dinner and I confessed to her that I had relapsed into porn use over the last few months. On top of other recent issues we have had, she is livid, and rightfully so as I have lied to her repeatedly on this matter. I am going to reboot but I need help and guidance, perhaps some accountability. I have been going to counselling weekly for a month so far, but I don't think that will be enough for a permanent fix to this. I have really put my foot in it. I've been researching and have joined a couple of site like this one, but I have no idea how to get started and so I am asking for advice from anyone here on the forum, perhaps some kind of 'accountability buddy' or something like that. I am dying here, she is gone out with friends and left me on out anniversary. It's a mess. We have three kids. I shed tears in front of her last night, wtf! Please help!

 

[jberg]

Nick, I had tried everything to quit porn on my own and with Counsellors, but nothing ever worked. I finally found some relief in a 12-step program for sex addiction. It sounds like you are desperate enough to try the serious stuff. I recommend you visit this website Sexaholics Anonymous and try to find a meeting in your area. I have found that connecting with another sex addict with regular phone and in-person contact is a great way to have accountability.

 

[Nick Dillz]

Hi jberg, thank you for replying, I appreciate it. I'll check out the website. I'm also going to counselling and have been doing a lot of reading. I guess fear is a major motivator right now but I think when it wears off a bit I'll still be strongly motivated to stay clean. This has caused me a ton of problems over the years and I've wasted countless hours with this garbage. Time to change, 45 years old now.

 

[Fappy]

Sorry to hear of your troubles, it really is terrifying the extent to which porn can destroy ones life.
It’s already nearly destroyed yours and will completely fuck your life around even more if you let it. Your addiction doesn’t give a shit about you, your wife and kids, all it want is to get you to give it that little hit of dopamine it gets from pixels on a screen.
Dont allow it! The thing is you need to starve it, it will rebel and make you feel bad for a short while, but it will eventually die.
So the good news is now you know what to do to get your life back, you’ve got that at least. Now just stick to it, let it take its course, and you’ll be seeing the benefits in no time

 

[JerryTX]

Nick glad you are here and starting this journey. The P demon and the shame, guilt, and depression it stirs is real. Fappy has some good advice and while my journey hasn't been perfect I can see my perseverance to beat this addiction. You are just getting started and there will likely be ups and downs. I also hurt my wife with the news of this addiction. Our relationship was somewhat strong and after I gave her some time you actually has been supportive of the journey. She realized that it was tough for me to be truthful she knows I am doing this to be a better man, father, and husband. I gave her some space and we are in a better place. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 26201]

Sorry to hear of your troubles, it really is terrifying the extent to which porn can destroy ones life.
It’s already nearly destroyed yours and will completely fuck your life around even more if you let it. Your addiction doesn’t give a shit about you, your wife and kids, all it want is to get you to give it that little hit of dopamine it gets from pixels on a screen.
Dont allow it! The thing is you need to starve it, it will rebel and make you feel bad for a short while, but it will eventually die.
So the good news is now you know what to do to get your life back, you’ve got that at least. Now just stick to it, let it take its course, and you’ll be seeing the benefits in no time

hey man can you read my post and maybe spread the word a lil. you’re pretty big on here so i think it would help a lot of people.