Time to start stopping

[dylank]

Hi all, guess I need to join after getting hit like a brick now.
Been doing the PMO stuff for as long as I know, that's 15-20 years with maybe a couple weeks without it.
Married and kid, partner isn't the wildest so we sometimes have sex for some days a week, sometimes weeks without. I've been afraid all these times to get PIED and when it comes up in my head it happens sometimes. Wifey doesn't care because when I'm relaxed and in the mood everything works ok.
Problem is it's in my head and it's difficult to stay hard for some time outside or when it's not me initiating.

And here the story becomes worse.

I tried to solve this problem with getting into another relationship. I know, what was I thinking..I know..!? Ofcourse, the fear starts here too. Some stuff happened, but enough negative feelings to give me the idea that I'm stuck in a negative spiral. So need to stop this behaviour NOW!

 

[dylank]

So I consider this as day 1.
I think my longest streak since discovering masturbation is about a month. This was on purpose and after a month everything got better with the (again...) 2 girls I had at the time. Because everything was fine, of course, I relapsed bad. I'm ready for it now. Already had some opp to PMO but I resisted and turned it off immediately.

 

[dylank]

Feel free to ask whatever you want.

Ill try to answer these questions for now.

• Did I use porn today? -Turned it off immediately.
• What were my triggers? -being alone and taking a bath
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by going over here
• What am I grateful for today? - having people that love me
• Day counter. 1.

 

[dylank]

Did I use porn today?
-no, and feeling sexually fine, had the sex
What were my triggers? -no up till now
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by going outside
What am I grateful for today? - having a job to work on
Day counter. 2.

 

[jberg]

@dylank is sounds like you're on the right path! I like that you are answering these questions every day--I started doing something like that and I found it helped me, too. Keep checking in here--it helps you and it helps us, too.

 

[dylank]

@dylank is sounds like you're on the right path! I like that you are answering these questions every day--I started doing something like that and I found it helped me, too. Keep checking in here--it helps you and it helps us, too.

thanks brother! much appreciated, will do!

 

[dylank]

Did I use porn today?
-no, and feeling allright. Had sex again yesterday, nothing wrong luckily. Still, as I mentioned, this PMO stuff gets in my head all the time. I stayed hard and had a nice orgasm but I have a hard time to stay mentally focused and sometimes I think about some video type of stuff in my head while performing. Don't really want to do that (because it makes me absent and I want to focus on her) but gets the 'job' done.
What were my triggers? -no up till now: the "home alone" time is always a major trigger to me. I start scrolling some pages or instagram, see some girl skin or some tight leggings or something, and then off we go to the next level stuff... but not today! swiped it away and now I'm getting some clothes to do some DIY in my shed.
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by going outside and do some DIY in the shed..
What am I grateful for today? - spending time with my family
Day counter. 3.

 

[dylank]

Bad thing: I'm so wired to P that I'm afrraid I'm going to flatline. Another possibility is that the sexy times will be a bit calmer and I get frustrated and get the urges. Don't really know how to handle too long without sex and no PMO to blow off steam..

 

[dylank]

Day 6!

• Did I use porn today? -Nope, and I didnt on day 4 or 5. I did have sex 2 times yesterday.
• What were my triggers? -not really a trigger these days.
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by putting the phone on flight mode and by not being alone.
• What am I grateful for today? - having a job i like
• Day counter. 6

Without actively denying the PMO urge, I would have come in action today, Inhave the opportunity and I never reach more than a week. Now, I resist. Let’s see what happens!

I’m even trying to quit addiction 2!

 

[dylank]

Did I use porn today? -Nope, but did have sex yesterday. Got me all fired up. Wondering at what time flatlining appears? Thinking that maybe I'm changing the porn habit for a sexual kick right now, not sure what is happening.
What were my triggers? - Not really, bit I felt a bit over excited by random women
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by keeping my brain to my work and not let me be distracted
What am I grateful for today? - bought something nice for other people
Day counter. 8

Addiction 2: everything quiet for now and trying to keep it like this

 

[dylank]

Some other thought: I try to get my sexual lust under control by PMO usually. So not sure what's going to happen now.

 

[dylank]

Day 9!
No triggers today, worked all day.
Had sex yesterday, and was all nice 'n hard. Got a spontaneous erection couple of times during the day (while getting a tan, and chilling with the lady)
So far, so good..!

 

[dylank]

Day 12. So I passes the first barrier, which to me is like a week. That only happens when I'm very busy or when I'm trying not to PMO. So now I'm working to the second barrier, which I've only reached a couple of times before: the one month barrier. Up till now, feeling confident and the sex is great.

• Did I use porn today? -Nope. right now, I'm less triggered to do so. Feeling confident about sex right now.
• What were my triggers? -not really, but I do use the internet a lot and there is always something around
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by just relaxing and being myself
• What am I grateful for today? - having a nice sleep
• Day counter. 12

 

[Blondie]

Hey Dylank, you're doing great man. Keep it up. I wouldn't worry too much about what might happen during a flatline. I know it can be scary, but it's the only way to true recovery. And just keep in mind that if your man is working good on this side of the fence, he will be working twice as well on the other.

You got this.

 

[dylank]

Thanks for your reply! I feel greatly supported by this.
Guess it's day 16 now!

• Did I use porn today? -Nope. However, due to social media, television and just "existing" you can't help to see lots of visuals every day. And it feels like triggers are just a click away. Somehow I manage to hold back and doing the PMO is still a bridge way too far now, so for now I'm still good.
• What were my triggers? - My greatest trigger is being alone and have time to waste.. Not now, but next couple of days there will be some I think.
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by working and doing other stuff: reading, working out, spending time with other
• What am I grateful for today? - having some free time to relax
• Day counter. 16!

Just like the addiction, this stuff is just me and nobody really knows. So I hope I'm strong enough (thanks to you guys!) to keep going.
So far, I'm doing well.

 

[dylank]

• Did I use porn today? - Nope.
• What were my triggers? Being alone is a trigger.
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by getting some professional help to talk to
• What am I grateful for today? - enjoying what i got
• Day counter. 17.

About addiction 2: still cold turkey! doing fine guys!

 

[Blondie]

17 days. Nice job! "About addiction 2: still cold turkey! doing fine guys!" This is true, if you think you need it, you will, if you don't, you won't! Keep it up.

 

[dylank]

• Did I use porn today? - Close but no!
• What were my triggers? Being alone over the weekend is a trigger.
• How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - by going here and watching tv
• What am I grateful for today? - doing some exercise
• Day counter. 18.

 

[dylank]

Of course full PMO is bad but how about the individual things?

So I'm doing the 'O' frequently now because there is no P+M involved with a partner ofcourse. About this: by me doing this rebooting I notice i send out more signals, there is more lust. And there is a reaction from her so maybe this stuff is already working? I have the feeling everything is getting better, also the erections and the sex in general too. Already did some stuff I wasnt able to before. Might also be because I'm changing a mindset and not worry so much like before. Anyway, things are going great.

About the question before, is it wrong for example to do a 'M' without anything else?

About the 'P', is this always wrong? For example, I was in a shop and there was a woman with high heels and tight leather pants and I got like turned on just seeing this (still am a bit...), same as watching stuff like that on the internet. So how do you guys cope with that stuff?
I can't keep my eyes closed shopping or something. And 'everyone' watches tv? Or is this just my addiction talking!?

 

[dylank]

17 days. Nice job! "About addiction 2: still cold turkey! doing fine guys!" This is true, if you think you need it, you will, if you don't, you won't! Keep it up.

Thanks man, it's the only option, this addiction is actually way more toxic than addiction 1 (PMO). So this I just need to end as quickly and cold as possible. Even been getting some professional help for this.