I’m going to divorce my husband. I hate it’s come to this point but I’m done. I would rather be alone, and at least have a shot at future happiness, than endure this heartache anymore. For 10 yrs I’ve tried my best to work through the lying, fantasizing about other women while
having sex with me (when it does happen at all), ogling other women in public, using porn as a sexual outlet rather than me…I can’t trust a word he says anymore.
We were so in love. I believe that-even if he is a fantastic lier. But he’s chosen digital T&A over me time and time again. He justifies it to me and himself based on his early adolescent use. Yes, this context is hard but he still has a choice. Every moment of everyday he has a choice
And now I’m pregnant (so so happily) and I’m faced with the decision of raising this child in a home with lying, mistrust, sadness, and shame as cornerstones, or making the decision to be brave and move on from this.
We’ve talked to a councilor and he says he’s trying but after 10yrs the progress has been glacial. I really don’t know what to do anymore. He says he’s taking recovery seriously but he continues to use. He talks a big game but how easily he forgets those words when his mood changes.
I want nothing more than to have this child be raised in a loving home and I’m not afraid to create that by myself if necessary. I feel like we’ve tried so much already…countless hours of heart felt talks, counseling, podcasts, books, forums…what else is there? He just has to decide enough is enough but he won’t.
I have to hype myself up when we go out if I know other women will be around since I know he’ll get fixated. I don’t deserve that. I have to wonder who he’s thinking about when he’s being intimate with me, like by his estimation I’m not even good enough to think about when he’s actually physically with me (it makes me feel so lonely). I can’t trust anything he says anymore.
I feel trapped and I want free.
having sex with me (when it does happen at all), ogling other women in public, using porn as a sexual outlet rather than me…I can’t trust a word he says anymore.
We were so in love. I believe that-even if he is a fantastic lier. But he’s chosen digital T&A over me time and time again. He justifies it to me and himself based on his early adolescent use. Yes, this context is hard but he still has a choice. Every moment of everyday he has a choice
And now I’m pregnant (so so happily) and I’m faced with the decision of raising this child in a home with lying, mistrust, sadness, and shame as cornerstones, or making the decision to be brave and move on from this.
We’ve talked to a councilor and he says he’s trying but after 10yrs the progress has been glacial. I really don’t know what to do anymore. He says he’s taking recovery seriously but he continues to use. He talks a big game but how easily he forgets those words when his mood changes.
I want nothing more than to have this child be raised in a loving home and I’m not afraid to create that by myself if necessary. I feel like we’ve tried so much already…countless hours of heart felt talks, counseling, podcasts, books, forums…what else is there? He just has to decide enough is enough but he won’t.
I have to hype myself up when we go out if I know other women will be around since I know he’ll get fixated. I don’t deserve that. I have to wonder who he’s thinking about when he’s being intimate with me, like by his estimation I’m not even good enough to think about when he’s actually physically with me (it makes me feel so lonely). I can’t trust anything he says anymore.
I feel trapped and I want free.