I have been trying to kick PMO for many years, sometimes more successfully than others. So this will be a journal from me. My gf is very against porn and we did discuss my problem a few years ago, she thinks I haven't looked at porn since I guess, but that's not true. Stress is a trigger for me, and I feel a lot of guilt because she doesn't know I've looked at porn recently. I thought I could just deal with it and it would be fine. I don't want to tell her as she would he crushed and the shame on me would be too great. I don't want to hurt her, but I feel somewhat incongruent as I'm not the person she thinks I am. I don't know how to deal with this aspect. I'm going to call this day 1 although it was a few days since I've looked at porn.
Trying reboot again.
- Thread starter Osmosis
- Start date
Day 8. No issues. MO a couple of days ago but no P. The first few days after PMO I always feel incredibly sad. Now at day 8 that has started to pass. It's the same pattern every time. Eventually my guard is let down and I end up searching for P usually on a platform like Reddit or Twitter, them before I know I'm back in deep.
D
Deleted member 27008
Guest
It's natural for you to feel sad. I think you know more or less about the changes in your brain. I'm in my 15th day now. 7-8 days ago I was feeling incredibly energetic and happy too. Now I feel a bit more like a straight line.
This process does not progress linearly. I have read the stories of many people. This process has not progressed linearly in anyone. There are still some ups and downs even after 6 months. I think you should update your expectations about the PMO-free process. Starting the process by accepting them prevents disappointment and recurrence.
Especially the first month will not be easy at all. I am aware of this and I take this challenge. Because there is no other way.
Mo is a serious trigger my friend. We should stay away from PMO completely for at least the first 2 months. Because we wired mo and p together.
Your girlfriend can be a motivation for you. You should evaluate it well. You need to stay away from all kinds of non-emotional and artificial sexual stimuli for a serious period of time. It's artificial. Dreaming is artificial. Looking at sexy girls is not emotional. Just staying away from P is not enough. At least in a 2-month period, you need to pay attention to the others. When your guard falls, it may be better to establish a close relationship with your girlfriend instead of them.
This process does not progress linearly. I have read the stories of many people. This process has not progressed linearly in anyone. There are still some ups and downs even after 6 months. I think you should update your expectations about the PMO-free process. Starting the process by accepting them prevents disappointment and recurrence.
Especially the first month will not be easy at all. I am aware of this and I take this challenge. Because there is no other way.
Mo is a serious trigger my friend. We should stay away from PMO completely for at least the first 2 months. Because we wired mo and p together.
Your girlfriend can be a motivation for you. You should evaluate it well. You need to stay away from all kinds of non-emotional and artificial sexual stimuli for a serious period of time. It's artificial. Dreaming is artificial. Looking at sexy girls is not emotional. Just staying away from P is not enough. At least in a 2-month period, you need to pay attention to the others. When your guard falls, it may be better to establish a close relationship with your girlfriend instead of them.
The trigger was seeing something on YouTube, as well as opportunity. It led to porn eventually. I had to remove covenant eyes from my phone as I couldn't afford to keep it, that helped me with my previous successes. So I'm back on day two and feeling terrible again. I'm conflicted about confessing to my gf, she would be very upset. I'm trying to let go of the shame I feel.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
There is no shame if what you are trying to do is to improve yourself.
Starting out is the most difficult.
One is lacking in skills, knowledge, experience and confidence in battling old well formed habits and practices.
I believe the way out is not simply abstinence but replacement.
Focus on developing other habits that will keep you busy and constantly achieving whilst helping others.
In time your need to feel better about yourself through PMO will diminish while your sense of self in private and social spaces will improve.
Starting out is the most difficult.
One is lacking in skills, knowledge, experience and confidence in battling old well formed habits and practices.
I believe the way out is not simply abstinence but replacement.
Focus on developing other habits that will keep you busy and constantly achieving whilst helping others.
In time your need to feel better about yourself through PMO will diminish while your sense of self in private and social spaces will improve.
zubeneschamali
Member
Reading your postings and acknowledging your efforts. I'm starting the same (again) today, and I'm positive both you and I will be successful. Stay strong and stay dedicated, and learn from others here, that's my plan.
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
My wife has always known that I look at porn. She doesn't know how deep the addiction is or how hard I've been fighting it. I made the choice to not tell her. We have enough problems. I think it is truly up to you, but coming clean doesn't always help things. I hope you make the choice that is right for you. I don't need the extra fighting and issues that would come with me discussing this with my partner. I need things to be as smooth as they can in the relationship so I don't going running right back to my old stress reliever.
RunPierreRun
Member
I am trying to find out our triggers since all of us have the same problem.
Probably we are too lazy to live in the real world, to work for exitement and satisfaction. Speaking, caressing, waiting for the other to react, understanding and accepting her reaction and to react again accordingly.
P gives us visual excitement, nice shaped bodies and nice face make up girls. Still I find that beautiful...beautiful like the Taj Mahal or the Parliament here in Hungary (as an architect)...and I like nice things, who doesnt?
Replacing will be the key, today my replacing object is being here.