So hurt and not sure I can overcome

[Betrayed]

I’m so hurt. It only been about two months since D day. We have been together almost three years. He has been looking at porn and hiding it behind my back the whole time. Lying to my face. I have been trying so hard to pretend it is behind me. It’s not. It bothers me every day. My heart aches. I feel so inadequate and now feel like I am not being myself putting up with the disrespect. He says he loves me. How can someone love you and lie to you like this? How can they love you and look to other women for pleasure? I am so angry. I know I don’t deserve this. Yet I know I love him. I want to work it out but I have no idea how we will be able to. I feel so disgusted by the lies and the whole situation. I guess I’m just wondering if there’s any couples here who have gotten through it

 

[therealthing]

I’m hoping to see the same. Feeling just how you expressed above - not sure how to get over the disgust. When you asked how someone who loves you could lie to you like that - a betrayal of trust to be sure - and my immediate thought is that he wants to protect you from what he knows is wrong. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking, or my romantic and overly optimistic imagination. Wishing the best for you both. Let’s cross our fingers for one another. Thanks for sharing. It’s helpful to know I’m not going through this alone.

 

[Gracie]

For sure the pain is real. I encourage people to get the book Love You, Hate the Porn by Mark Chamberlain and Geoff Steurer. And here is the mark Chamberlain blog that is helpful.