Gay man in Germany

[Firk]

Hi, everyone! I'm 47 years old and live in Berlin, Germany. Just like everybody else here, I've been struggling with porn for quite some time - for decades in my case. I've been doing NoFap since 2017. The pandemic derailed me in 2020, but last year I got a grip and spend 300 days entirely sober, totally free of digital dirt of any kind. I relapsed in early March, though, and feel a bit unsure about myself now. I'd already hoped this would never happen again. I'm a bit afraid I might slip into old patters and into my old, non-sober self.

I am gay and I live in a stable partnership. Using P was, for me, mostly a way to deal with anxiety and intense feelings. Meditation has helped me a lot to overcome cravings and acute urges.

Finding an AP for regular check-ins would be great. I'll also keep you updated about this part of my journey in this journal.

 

[Simonly]

@Firk I can relate to your post. I too have been struggling with porn for decades. I am now in my 50's. The pandemic also "derailed" me. I have recently relapsed, and the triggers have been stress and anxiety.

... and so onwards we go!

 

[Firk]

@Firk I can relate to your post. I too have been struggling with porn for decades. I am now in my 50's. The pandemic also "derailed" me. I have recently relapsed, and the triggers have been stress and anxiety.

... and so onwards we go!

Thanks for your kind post. Yes, the pandemic hit me hard, addiction wise. But I also learned a lot. I noticed that my old avoidance mechanisms (computer use only at work and other harsh rules) did not solve the problem, they only served to manage it. Only when I found the pain inside and started meditating a lot did I make progress. Important note: I am not the esoteric type and meditation is backed by science.

 

[Simonly]

I have managed to succeed in being sober by using mechanisms and rules that helped break the daily habit.

My weakness now is stress and anxiety. As stress accumulates, I sucumber to "porn subsitutes" ... which eventually lead to a relapse.

The craving to watch "digital dirt" (a great description ) is still strong when I have difficulty coping ... "old habits die hard", as the saying goes.

Managing my stress levels, and learning a new coping mechanism is now important for me.

I did try Meditation, which was good for relaxing and focusing the brain, so must resume again.

During lockdown I did not exercise and became unhealthy, so I have recently started Pilates, which also involves breathing exercises and help promote a relax, healthy state of mind.

... and so onwards we go!

 

[LettingPornGo]

Hi, everyone! I'm 47 years old and live in Berlin, Germany. Just like everybody else here, I've been struggling with porn for quite some time - for decades in my case. I've been doing NoFap since 2017. The pandemic derailed me in 2020, but last year I got a grip and spend 300 days entirely sober, totally free of digital dirt of any kind. I relapsed in early March, though, and feel a bit unsure about myself now. I'd already hoped this would never happen again. I'm a bit afraid I might slip into old patters and into my old, non-sober self.

I am gay and I live in a stable partnership. Using P was, for me, mostly a way to deal with anxiety and intense feelings. Meditation has helped me a lot to overcome cravings and acute urges.

Finding an AP for regular check-ins would be great. I'll also keep you updated about this part of my journey in this journal.

Hi Firk, thanks for sharing your post. I am getting back active in the forum. I have been on a relapse for MONTHs, and trying to get back in control from this monster. I, too, have struggled with this for decades as a 51 year old man. I am in a long term relationship myself. However, with no intimacy, and intense work related stress, Porn has been my pleasure in solitude. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.