A question to you that have recovered

[Klino]

Hello everybody.

I'm a guy, 29 years old. I'm in a commited relationship since 5 years and we're getting married in 4 months. I'm struggling with my addiction with its up and downs . I think I'm having cold feet regarding the wedding. I'm having doubts she is the one. There is no passion, no sexual spark. I've always seen her as cute but not very sexy. I have times I feel trapped in this situation, just wanting to escape. Im wondering if my porn addiction is the cause of this. I have no wish to have sex with her, this last half year maybe we had sex 6 times. My addiction has intensified unfortunately.

Have any of you experienced similar feelings regarding your relationship?

Did your attraction to your partner grow when you recovered from porn? Did the sexual passion grow, is it possible to be turned on again by each other?

All the best

 

[Tryinghere]

Porn did affect my libido but not my attraction to my wife. Yes, porn is clearly a problem for you. But you also may want to think hard before your wedding day. Being married to the wrong person sucks.

 

[Fappy]

It could be that porn has distorted your sense of what you think is attractive, it certainly did for me. We become wired to the filth we see and that then manifests in our personal lives and even sexual preferences. By stopping porn you’ll get your mind back and the problem will disappear

 

[Lucius]

I stopped looking at porn for a year but it didn't not "restore" my attraction to my wife and my marriage failed. I am now 4+yrs without porn and am completely attracted to my girlfriend. I fantasize about HER. Nobody else. No images in my mind. I can even watch sex scenes on tv and not fantasize about the actress.

 

[Simonly]

Putting addiction aside ... from my experience ... getting married if you are unsure, or not fully committed ... for whatever reason ... is a decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life, and will impact the lives of both you and your wife.

It was my wife who initiated the idea of us getting married, and I got "swept along" in all the enthusiasm of a new experience.

Adding addiction into the equation only complicated matters worst, and does not help any marriage start of on the "right foot". Marriage shouldn't be based on sex. Porn clouds judgement, and expectations. It is unlikely that any girl will meet expectations.

Quitting addiction, will definitely help develop a more realistic perspective of life.

Good Luck.

... and so onwards we go!