Back to Basics

[Feline]

Joined today.
49.
Gay.
Aiming to be back to my own basic self by 50 in February 2023.
Started masturbating 11, best thing that ever happened to me! All natural all east going… with my straight buddy from school…
Started drinking age 17…
Subsequently over years and retrospectively I most definitely have a personal profile that is prone to addiction…
Cannabis followed alcohol over time…aged 23..
Porn followed shortly after … aged 25, magazines and odd videos…
Porn on cannabis became the norm and definitely wired those neurons to fire together to the point of not giving a damn about having sexual partners or not, it was just too easy and too good….
Crashed in 2015 and fortunately made it to rehab for alcohol after a suicide attempt…
Thought I was ok… porn remained as I struggled to have any kind of normal sex… I thought I was doing myself a favour..! Heavy use of increasingly hardcore porn of all kinds…(never illegal shit!)
Started cannabis again and porn became my religion again… edging to porn for hours. Then just decided I had enough…
Started psychodynamic therapy last year…
Stopped cannabis three months ago… very difficult but managing…
Fully realised I was addicted to porn too and that my brain had changed considerably over time…stopped porn a week ago…
I feel a bit lost and drif

Fully dedicated to address porn now as I want myself back before my 50th birthday next year Feb…

Would love to hear from guys in similar situations..

 

[zonecrew45]

Good luck on your journey

Cocaine was always the trigger for my marathon porn sessions, been clean for 4 months now (and counting)

 

[Feline]

Good luck on your journey

Cocaine was always the trigger for my marathon porn sessions, been clean for 4 months now (and counting)

Thanks buddy
Messing with my brain… not a good thing. Taking time rebooting.. more challenging than I imagined. But I’m positive and determined..
Well done with 4 months! What have you noticed over time that still motivates you?
I’m seeing a lot of good things already but anxiety, headaches, insomnia and crappy mood has been shit so far but ok

 

[zonecrew45]

Thanks

I was never a heavy user, it was occasional use over a prolonged period. However, it still was/is a problem that needed to be addressed.
I've been trying to exercise daily and use distraction methods whenever my anxiety kicks in. Music helps me a lot