Journey

[BalthazarPL]

Hello, I'm 29 y/o who trying to overcome this addiction probably around 10 years.

Today I have to deal with all this regrets for that how I wasted my 20s on this por.n shit.

I'm still a virgin what also not helping, I lost my 2x 100+ days streak by trying two times dating apps, ended up feeling unatractive/depressed etc.

I will be trying this time to ends with gaming/xxx all together. I need to do something because I almost not have any feel of happines or sex drive/ libido I feel dead inside so many years and it only worse.

 

[AlbinoRhino]

You’re not alone, I’m 17 and have had this problem since I was 13. It is one of my biggest regrets and I am looking to quit.

 

[Fappy]

Don’t worry my friend. You now know what to do in order to break your 100 days streaks, stay the fuck away from anything at all remotely sexual. These are obvious triggers for you. Do this diligently and without compromise and I’m sure you’ll cure yourself

 

[BalthazarPL]

I feel very low motivation to keep pushing to finally overcome this addiction. I'm 100% sure that I'm not able to have sex with real woman (ED,PIED etc.) I even feel like I'm not good enough for real woman. I sabotage myself with this treating myself like my whorst enemy/ compare myself to others/ see myself as like the biggest loser on the planet.

 

[BalthazarPL]

Day 3

I thinking about this how many years I wasted on PMO/ trying overcome PMO addiction. It's only make me very depressed but I can't stop thinking about this. I started when I was 21 y.o and still couden't leave this addiction behind me.
In last few years slowly I started losing strenght to keep trying, because I started believing that I already losted this battle and my life won't be better.
Only small part of me want to keep trying but what is the point now when I'm almost 30 y.o virgin with dead penis/ skinny body/ working for minimal wage without ambition and hope.

 

[BalthazarPL]

Day 4

Today I started playing on video game and soon after I got pmo urges. I was on auto - pilot few second after and started looking for certain xxx star on instagram. I have a lot of xxx blocker + one of them block google images etc. But I still founded few pics but wake up in righr time and qickly block all URL site with those pics.

It's very hard because all this feeling of wasting my 20s on that addiction and not overcoming this addiction for so long time trying. I not even have hope to be in relationship with woman in the future, I just feel like the biggest loser in the world.

 

[BalthazarPL]

Day 90

In last few days I was on the edge of auto-pilot full PMO relapse. Everything started from scrolling facebook where accidentialy I saw xxx pics who someone put there for fun I guess. From there it started escalate to the point where I started type xxx stars name on fb search and peeking on some of they pics.
I have many xxx blockers, they do a good job but I saw many not nsfw photos, what also hit me with dopamine etc. Today I was in situation where all my xxx blocker where off and I slowly step by step started looking for my favorite actres ( I saw some photos but I was scrolling fast ) I took my shit together and fixed my xxx blocker and stay as clean as this possible after giving myself all this dopamine from searching for xxx shit .

 

[BalthazarPL]

.
After almost 90 days clean streak. I didn't feel any progress with my dead libido by this time, my pmo addiction is now more about searching for new pics/video than MO.

10 years trying over and over and fail almost every time by typing xxx stars name in browser and looking for her pics to get dapamine and be on auto-pilot before full PMO.

This become horrible, becuse I'm at the moment 30y/o skinny virgin with low self esteen. PMO just screwed my brain, I almost all the time live in some type of flatline where I tottaly lost sex drive to real women.