33 Years old time to fully move on from this problem

M

Madvino

Member
Day 1

I've struggled with pornography's and masturbation's as most guys around my teenage years. I've always thought that this is something all guys do at that age and as i grow older i will out grow it and stop doing it. Moving into my 20s i had my ups and downs, ive had years where i didn't watch much porn and others were it was a regular event, i always though it was okay as i wouldn't do it more than 2 or 3 times a month so that's a 95+ success rate but again as i am getting older i am finding out the effects this is having on my brain and life physically and spiritually.

I am 33 years old married and i have a daughter, I want to fully move on from this filth and reboot once and for all.

That's why I am using this platform.

My first goal is 180 days of no Porn.

Today is Day 1
 
M

Madvino

Member
Day 2

The day is going on well. When studying my previous habits it was clear that most of the time the relapse happens around the 2-3 week mark and when i do relapes there are occasions where i do it 2-3 days apart. Hence high focus on being clean this week so i can face the next milestone 2-3 weeks from now.
 
M

Madvino

Member
Day 3 & Day 4

Faced some temptation yesterday, as mentioned before while tracking the relapses i notice that on the week of the replace it tends to happens multiple times and then ever 2-3 weeks after that. Pushing through as planned.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Good job Madvino on deciding to quit this shit once and for all.

Push through to the other side, you can do this.

Best
 
Shodan

Shodan

Member
Believe me it’s all worth it in the end my bro! I haven’t even reached the end yet but 713 days later I’m well on my way and so are you
 
Shodan

Shodan

Member
That’ll be you in no time family! You may not even have to go that long - my P addiction was 12 years long! However yours might not have been so terrible. I pray it wasn’t - you’ve got this brother! All the best
 
M

Madvino

Member
MakeItReign said:
That’ll be you in no time family! You may not even have to go that long - my P addiction was 12 years long! However yours might not have been so terrible. I pray it wasn’t - you’ve got this brother! All the best
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When did you figure out it was an addition bro? The thing with this problem is that for the longest time i kept thinking its nothing and again because alot of times i would do it once or twice a month and had long streaks of not doing it i never took the problem seriously. I would say last year and this year were the first 2 years i realized this is a problem and that its a habit deeply embedded which will take serious attention to remove.
 
M

Madvino

Member
MakeItReign said:
To be honest I realised some years back that I had a real problem, but same time when I realised I had an issue it had been as destructive as it could so I really had no way to go but up. That was in 2013. A short time after I realised my problem I ended up in a relationship and had a son. This ended terribly because in truth I’d rather fap than engage in sex because I’d been wired-up a certain way. I didn’t realise the extent of it, the depth of the problem so to speak. Over these past few years I’ve had several long streaks, this one being my longest. The key for me is to not look at it as a ‘streak’ because ‘streaks end’ at some point. I see no end to this because when fully healthy I’ll never have a need nor desire to fap again. This last 713 days I’ve looked at the issue everyday, sometimes I’m depth and others just a look-in. But personally for me that was wrong because if I’m focused on the problem I won’t see a solution anywhere and this goes way deeper than simple ‘abstinence’. A complete transformation is what is my desire now and I will see that through NO MATTER WHAT. And I say no matter what because it really is - NO MATTER WHAT! If the universe decides to test the shit out of me to see if I’m worthy of the changes I’ve asked for then I’ll look up to the sky and dare it to get harder by asking ‘IS THAT ALL YOUVE GOT?!’. I’m in the trenches until the war is over.
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amazing brother keep going and keep working on forever changing the view on this problem. Thank you so much for sharing all this info.
 
M

Madvino

Member
Day 5

Going strong nothing major to discuss. I believe when it comes to this sort of addition is trying to rewire the habits which leads you to be in the situation where you would want to watch Porn and fap. If those habits are erased and replaced with positive habits then the problem can be easily tackled with rational thinking. Rationally there is zero positive impact on this action however we find ourselves constantly falling back into it.

I've identified certain triggers that caused me to fall into the habit again:

1-Being bored and/or alone ( this one i believe is a big challenge, i heard onetime by a PHD in psychology the major reason why people watch porn and masterbate is because they are craving freedom which for one reason or another they don't have in their life . Increasing freedom in your life being able to make your own decisions or as a husband have time alone away from the family i believe can significantly decrease the need to fap.

2-Not controlling my emotions when i am extremally stressed from work or angry at my wife for example

3-Constantly having sexual thoughts about certain women that i know. ( it opens the door to fapping and you start rationalizing to yourself that its better to watch porn and fap than to think about these women in such a manner )

4- Social media browsing ( obviously this can be controlled by unfollowing provocative accounts) but generally when your bombarded all day with half naked women with unrealistic beauty it becomes very difficult to control your sexual desires.
 
Shodan

Shodan

Member
Positivity all day everyday Marvin! It’s great to see! Even those days that when summoning a ‘good feeling’ will seem an impossibility, HOWEVER that numbness is actually a WONDERFUL SIGN because that’s the brain responding accordingly. Flatline is nothing but the brain have a good ol’ rest and for some of your a that’s the first rest it’s had in some years! Your doing this thing brother!

All the best!
 
M

Madvino

Member
MakeItReign said:
Positivity all day everyday Marvin! It’s great to see! Even those days that when summoning a ‘good feeling’ will seem an impossibility, HOWEVER that numbness is actually a WONDERFUL SIGN because that’s the brain responding accordingly. Flatline is nothing but the brain have a good ol’ rest and for some of your a that’s the first rest it’s had in some years! Your doing this thing brother!

All the best!
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Thank you bro! Truly appreciate the support
 
M

Madvino

Member
Day 7

Yesterday i got the itch again, it seems that the body starts craving the oxytocin and dopamine like a drug.

Still holding strong, looking at these emotional craving from a 3rd person perspective , it is quite interesting to notice how these feelings start and what are the thoughts that come to mind that might open a small crack in the door that would lead to a relapse. Small thoughts such as have a small look at your account in this site, check what that hot model is doing you don't have to fap just have a look. This is normally the way things start and doing it day after day eventually builds up enough tension where it overpowers you.

That's why its better to avoid it from the beginning and not give a change for that crack in the door to open.

1 week Down.
 
M

Madvino

Member
Day 8 & 9

Day 8 was difficult , a lot of frustration as i am going through some financial difficulties. It seems that my mind kept wanting to go back to that escape. I found myself Binging on food instead which is never great. But eventually i got everything under control and moved on with no relapse.

Day 9 was a bit easier, started the day as i normally do with praying, reading and afterwards a solid workout. Spent the rest of the day with the family.

So far still going strong but i do notice that when you allow the situation around you to stress you , make you feel bad or invaluable you will want to escape and that escape could very well be to watch porn get lost in hours of fapping which drives your addition further. It is vital to get a hold of your thoughts, whenever you get such a though that starts a negative emotion you must immediately dismantle it and replace it with a positive thought which brings on good emotions, time after time eventually the vast majority of thoughts become positive and it moves you further and further from relapsing to finally be free.
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Great job holding out against those urges!

So true that it’s easy to let your guard down, and think to yourself you’ll just check something out quickly. I’ve been having those thoughts a lot, and the only way we’ll get better is to see those thoughts for what they actually are. Even relatively innocent things like photos of someone you find attractive - if it’s on a screen and you engage with it, you’re feeding small crumbs to a monster that always craves more. It’ll never be satisfied.
 
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