Doesn't matter how many times you fall, as long as you get back up.

[justaguy]

It's been a while. Didn't mean to be gone for so long but I've been busy lately. Had a couple of relapses, but I'm still in the game. Speaking of games, because I've been busy I've spent less time gaming. I haven't noticed a difference in the urges if I'm gaming or not though. That might be because I've already given up the super duper dopamine dumper games (think fps and rpg). I used to play all the popular fps games (cod, halo and more). I do agree you get a rush of dopamine playing those games. I always liked trying to out think the other players in a matter of seconds. I do remember occasionally getting the same shakes that I got from pmo. The games I play now days are fairly calm though. I probably won't cut out games all together, but I'll keep them in their place. I'd rather have adventures in real life then on the screen in a fantasy world. Well I'm not restoring the car, it is in almost mint condition so I don't have to lol . I sold my other car that did need restored, it was a relief to get rid of it and all the clutter that came with it. It's somebody's else headache now. I'm actually close to paying off the car loan on the Mustang, I'll probably save up a down payment and buy a newer car. I've been doing some early spring cleaning and getting rid of other things I no longer use or want, trying to simplify my possessions so they don't possess me.

 

[justaguy]

    Well its been a rough 3 months for me. I finally feel like I'm back to where I was before the shtf.
    To sum things up, my dept got temporarily shut down for maintenance and reorganization. So I had to go back to my old dept  . Even though my old boss was no longer there it was still very stressful. I ended up having a few anxiety attacks because of the stress, it's been several years since I've had an anxiety attack. It was initially supposed to be for 1-2 weeks, it lasted 7 and a half weeks.
    At the same time this was going on my gf was falling behind her bills. She doesn't want be a burden, so she wasn't telling me. This same situation had repeated itself so many times I lost track. It goes like this: she doesn't tell me, she gets further behind, I only find out when her power, phone or whatever is about to be shutoff, I send her money that night so she can pay it, and its a much bigger headache than if she would have just told me ahead of time before it got out of hand. It reached a point to where I was going to tell her we needed to take a break from each other. I hated making that phone call (I still feel sick just thinking about it). We were some how able to talk things out, I think she understands now. I'm done putting up with that stress, if she doesn't change I'll end the relationship. I love her, but she was making me absolutely miserable. I really think she understands this now and is doing her best to change.
    There were other smaller things that added to my stress as well. That's to much to list though. I fell back into old habits, I looked at mostly soft-core so it could be worse I guess. For those 3 months I was stressed out to the point where I just didn't care. I'm still irritable but I hope that will get better over time. Those months really knocked me on my ass, I think I'm finally ready to get back up though.