The DiceMan
Member
Let me introduce myself. I am not new to rebooting but it has been a long time.
I am a 42 year old, straight male with a 4 year old daughter. I have been aware of the dangers of porn for many years, but fooled myself into thinking it has been under control. It isn't and never has been. I have started a new job which has meant working from home more and has escalated the problem. I was in my 20's before I discovered internet porn and had never even masturbated until I was 18. I am no recluse and play or have played sports at a high level but I am a huge underachiever in most things.
Growing up I have never been attracted to men but over the years I have started to think I may be bisexual, although I have only ever been interested in the male appendage. I know that this is not entirely uncommon. I have also watched a lot of trans porn. I'm not convinced this would have happened without porn. I have recently been talking online about being sent used things and had a girl send a used condom that she filmed her very well endowed partner filling. I have recently also started watching humiliation porn. I think subconsciously it is doing me harm. Feels mad typing this. I know that this is a step too far and it is eating me up with guilt. I want to be free of porn, of using every spare minute watching it, of feeling ashamed, not being able to look people in the eye, having no energy and constantly underachieving. I have everything a man could want, a beautiful family, home and job but I feel empty.
I am considering going to a sexual addiction meeting as I can't do this on willpower alone, this much I know. I really don't know how i'm going to do it but i need to before I lose everything.
Yours
The Dice Man
I am a 42 year old, straight male with a 4 year old daughter. I have been aware of the dangers of porn for many years, but fooled myself into thinking it has been under control. It isn't and never has been. I have started a new job which has meant working from home more and has escalated the problem. I was in my 20's before I discovered internet porn and had never even masturbated until I was 18. I am no recluse and play or have played sports at a high level but I am a huge underachiever in most things.
Growing up I have never been attracted to men but over the years I have started to think I may be bisexual, although I have only ever been interested in the male appendage. I know that this is not entirely uncommon. I have also watched a lot of trans porn. I'm not convinced this would have happened without porn. I have recently been talking online about being sent used things and had a girl send a used condom that she filmed her very well endowed partner filling. I have recently also started watching humiliation porn. I think subconsciously it is doing me harm. Feels mad typing this. I know that this is a step too far and it is eating me up with guilt. I want to be free of porn, of using every spare minute watching it, of feeling ashamed, not being able to look people in the eye, having no energy and constantly underachieving. I have everything a man could want, a beautiful family, home and job but I feel empty.
I am considering going to a sexual addiction meeting as I can't do this on willpower alone, this much I know. I really don't know how i'm going to do it but i need to before I lose everything.
Yours
The Dice Man