hopelesswanttodie
Member
hello everyone , i have been here before this, this is my second attempt and i wont be doing fap and porn ever again coz if i do i just might end up killing myself , i just might be the worst case that can happen to anyone,
.present : i turned 25 this year and have hit dysfunction i get no erection to porn, even when i do get, its very mild an or d go away in seconds.
story: it all started when i first saw my cousin dry humping the bed to a cringy song on tv, i was very young probably 8 or 9. next i was watching all those songs with cleavage showing and kissing scenes in it . i was prone masturbating to all this dumb shit when i didnt even know what it all was what i was doing but as it felt good i kept on doing it. next i was waiting for my family to go to sleep so that i could watch ftv videos and sexy songs late night to fap to those
it was so bad that i would wake up in the middle of the night to go watch all this . then as i grew older i got to know something about it and stopped masturbating to all this . i have always been a bright child i was scoring extremely well in my school all this time and there was no issue as i would go out play with friends was perfectly healthy and everything was going good then i discovered porn when i was 12 probably and its when things started to go out of hands i was not thinking about anything else the only thing i wanted to do was watch porn fap go out play score well in my exams and everything was going well. i was also very much popular among the girls they wanted to be around me all the time but because they were not as attracted as my porn stars i was ignoring not paying any heed to them also how many questions do they ask before even let you touch them ah better i would watch porn . dumb fuck i was i wish someone had told me about everything that was wrong with the way i was trying to live fap play score well so anyone would not think that there is any issue with this boy.
then things started got really bad when i hit puberty i was pervert who could not think of women as beautiful creation of god to be loved but i was just wishing how could i sleep with them the only thing that women are for is to be fucked and nothing else i had lost all the sense by this time and thought this was absolutely normal that's what porn does to you.. god i want to kill myself right now what have i done with my life. then as i grew older and all this continued i started to date a beautiful girl when i got into senior sec that is +2 but as it goes she was very apprehensive about getting physical so i was just fapping to porn coz thats when i got my personal phone with high speed internet.. the biggest mistake that anyone could do was this high speed internet smartphone in the hands of a 15-16 year old who was horny all the time. this is when my masturbation habits started getting worse i was fapping to porn multiple times a day would stay up all night to watch porn finding the perfect video . all i wanted to do was watch all the porn available anywhere and fap to it i just might kill myself as i write all this i just dont know how could i be so stupid i was the brightest child around anyone knew good in sports used to win sprint races would play outside for hours sometimes 5 to 6 hours come back fap eat study and sleep and repeat. then i joined a coaching for an entrance and i lost all the track right there i was just stressed all the time what would happen if i failed i was really struggling to keep pace and also i was an introvert right from the when i started watching porn so i would watch porn fap multiple times sometime upto 7 times within 4 hours delete my history or close incognito mode and carry on as nothing happened everytime i write all this i feel like giving up my life and die i dont want to face all this i'm really afraid i will never recover from it ever i just want to die ( had a really bad breakdown when i wrote this ;( )and then i failed the entrance and felt if the world ended for me right there then i was just continuing fapping dropping for the exam and again and again year after year. it become my escape for everything that was not right in my life or was not going according to my wishes ,parents not fulfilling my demands i would get angry and fap ,failed fap no gf fap. it was my escape from reality at this time my erections started getting weak and weak but i ignored everything and just fapped i was not even interested just wanted to ejaculate as quickly as possible to get a temporary relief
there is more to this story which i will share later this is already a very long thread
right now it has been few weeks since i started and i have got a girlfriend right now who is very much into sex and wants to get physical with me and i'm just very afraid that i will not be able to perform at all i dont what to do i have made her fall in love with me madly she writes letters for me that are four pages long i dont want to break her heart. please help me someeven please reply to this thread
.present : i turned 25 this year and have hit dysfunction i get no erection to porn, even when i do get, its very mild an or d go away in seconds.
story: it all started when i first saw my cousin dry humping the bed to a cringy song on tv, i was very young probably 8 or 9. next i was watching all those songs with cleavage showing and kissing scenes in it . i was prone masturbating to all this dumb shit when i didnt even know what it all was what i was doing but as it felt good i kept on doing it. next i was waiting for my family to go to sleep so that i could watch ftv videos and sexy songs late night to fap to those
it was so bad that i would wake up in the middle of the night to go watch all this . then as i grew older i got to know something about it and stopped masturbating to all this . i have always been a bright child i was scoring extremely well in my school all this time and there was no issue as i would go out play with friends was perfectly healthy and everything was going good then i discovered porn when i was 12 probably and its when things started to go out of hands i was not thinking about anything else the only thing i wanted to do was watch porn fap go out play score well in my exams and everything was going well. i was also very much popular among the girls they wanted to be around me all the time but because they were not as attracted as my porn stars i was ignoring not paying any heed to them also how many questions do they ask before even let you touch them ah better i would watch porn . dumb fuck i was i wish someone had told me about everything that was wrong with the way i was trying to live fap play score well so anyone would not think that there is any issue with this boy.
then things started got really bad when i hit puberty i was pervert who could not think of women as beautiful creation of god to be loved but i was just wishing how could i sleep with them the only thing that women are for is to be fucked and nothing else i had lost all the sense by this time and thought this was absolutely normal that's what porn does to you.. god i want to kill myself right now what have i done with my life. then as i grew older and all this continued i started to date a beautiful girl when i got into senior sec that is +2 but as it goes she was very apprehensive about getting physical so i was just fapping to porn coz thats when i got my personal phone with high speed internet.. the biggest mistake that anyone could do was this high speed internet smartphone in the hands of a 15-16 year old who was horny all the time. this is when my masturbation habits started getting worse i was fapping to porn multiple times a day would stay up all night to watch porn finding the perfect video . all i wanted to do was watch all the porn available anywhere and fap to it i just might kill myself as i write all this i just dont know how could i be so stupid i was the brightest child around anyone knew good in sports used to win sprint races would play outside for hours sometimes 5 to 6 hours come back fap eat study and sleep and repeat. then i joined a coaching for an entrance and i lost all the track right there i was just stressed all the time what would happen if i failed i was really struggling to keep pace and also i was an introvert right from the when i started watching porn so i would watch porn fap multiple times sometime upto 7 times within 4 hours delete my history or close incognito mode and carry on as nothing happened everytime i write all this i feel like giving up my life and die i dont want to face all this i'm really afraid i will never recover from it ever i just want to die ( had a really bad breakdown when i wrote this ;( )and then i failed the entrance and felt if the world ended for me right there then i was just continuing fapping dropping for the exam and again and again year after year. it become my escape for everything that was not right in my life or was not going according to my wishes ,parents not fulfilling my demands i would get angry and fap ,failed fap no gf fap. it was my escape from reality at this time my erections started getting weak and weak but i ignored everything and just fapped i was not even interested just wanted to ejaculate as quickly as possible to get a temporary relief
there is more to this story which i will share later this is already a very long thread
right now it has been few weeks since i started and i have got a girlfriend right now who is very much into sex and wants to get physical with me and i'm just very afraid that i will not be able to perform at all i dont what to do i have made her fall in love with me madly she writes letters for me that are four pages long i dont want to break her heart. please help me someeven please reply to this thread
