Joined today, 59 days no P, 3 days no MO. No sex successful penetrative sex with spouse since Nov 2019. A couple failed attempts since than has left her resigned to no interest in trying again. Was able to get it up, could not sustain, this just pushed me into PMO more. Things started notna result of PMO but a mistreated low t matter. I would then resent that she thought it was her, she would not even consider the physical and mostly psychological aspect of things, so to "show" her I mostly MOd, then added P when it became so easy to get for free. Long term effects no doubt made it harder to have a emotional and physical intimate relationship and now I'm in a sexless marriage. My hard stop on MO began this Wed, Jul 13th. Boredom seems to drive me mostly to MO. She is in bed by 9pm, uses sleep aid to sleep so there will never be nigthtime opportunity. So im alone get bored and say, what the hell. I have no idea where this will land me. I certainly dont have that guilt anymore involving the P, so i feel good there. In the last few weeks since shedding P, I have been unable to stay hard during M, thus causing my interest and desire to MO to wane. I love having sex, and could have it 2 or 3 times a week at age 60, but i fear i will never have it again and i am not prepapred for that!
Fear I'll Never Have Sex Again!
- Thread starter NYC
- Start date
GBS
Respected Member
Hi @NYC .
Have you or your wife had therapy? Also buy the “Love you, hate the porn” book. It’s a tough read but worth it. We read ours together and whilst it occasionally seemed to take us back a step or two, it was very good at highlighting what the addiction is about. How ever good you are at explaining it yourself, the book will have her understand more I think.
There’s another book called “Hold me Tight” which one of the recovering partners recommended to me. We haven’t bought that one yet but we will.
No secret to getting your sex life back - just communicate. Be honest. Stop MO’ing and you’ll feel on top of the world. Easy, huh?
Have you or your wife had therapy? Also buy the “Love you, hate the porn” book. It’s a tough read but worth it. We read ours together and whilst it occasionally seemed to take us back a step or two, it was very good at highlighting what the addiction is about. How ever good you are at explaining it yourself, the book will have her understand more I think.
There’s another book called “Hold me Tight” which one of the recovering partners recommended to me. We haven’t bought that one yet but we will.
No secret to getting your sex life back - just communicate. Be honest. Stop MO’ing and you’ll feel on top of the world. Easy, huh?
Aeodh Dan
Active Member
there are worse things...use this time as an opportunity to discover who you really are, or who you want to be
my "sexless" marriage eventually led me to confront the demons, and now 4 years later, I am porn free after 4 decades!
you can do it, my friend; it's not about "sex", just like it's not about alcohol, it's not about the guns, it's not about the "thing", no it's about YOU! Who are you? Deep down inside? Are you a helpless child? Are you a warrior? Are you a seeker of truth? The journey inward can be fascinating!
joepanic
Respected Member
Now that you are porn free will you still be facing a sexless marriage? I find it funny how the lack of sex is such a large topic in the partners section but when it comes to the addicts cleaning themselves up and looking to be intimate again so often its Nope just my 2 cents
Post often it helps me it helps you
GBS
Respected Member
Don’t blow your load. Resist. It’s pain and pleasure. To me it was the key to my reboot. I knew that when I MO’d I took myself way back. The reboot is utterly amazing- truly life affirming- some days you feel like you own the world. All because I didn’t blow my load. Keep going, pal.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
GrateClips
Active Member
what's the longest you've ever gone without MO? Not just PMO, i mean just going natural monk mode and letting that ride?
Before the last 7 day stretch, cant tell you I have ever had a period even before P was a thing, i would have sex 3 to 4 times a week (with my wife), filled in with MO. So pretty active O whether it be sex or M.
GrateClips
Active Member
i honestly think a lot if not all of your problems will be solved by doing a hardcore reboot and staying on the program
GBS
Respected Member
Hi @NYC - 92 days is excellent but I think trying an extended no MO period will make a huge difference. It did for me. I have got to the point in my recovery (I am 60 by the way) where I think I should not even touch my penis except to shower and use the toilet. That’s my next challenge. Try what I am doing and see how your brain copes.