Joined today, 59 days no P, 3 days no MO. No sex successful penetrative sex with spouse since Nov 2019. A couple failed attempts since than has left her resigned to no interest in trying again. Was able to get it up, could not sustain, this just pushed me into PMO more. Things started notna result of PMO but a mistreated low t matter. I would then resent that she thought it was her, she would not even consider the physical and mostly psychological aspect of things, so to "show" her I mostly MOd, then added P when it became so easy to get for free. Long term effects no doubt made it harder to have a emotional and physical intimate relationship and now I'm in a sexless marriage. My hard stop on MO began this Wed, Jul 13th. Boredom seems to drive me mostly to MO. She is in bed by 9pm, uses sleep aid to sleep so there will never be nigthtime opportunity. So im alone get bored and say, what the hell. I have no idea where this will land me. I certainly dont have that guilt anymore involving the P, so i feel good there. In the last few weeks since shedding P, I have been unable to stay hard during M, thus causing my interest and desire to MO to wane. I love having sex, and could have it 2 or 3 times a week at age 60, but i fear i will never have it again and i am not prepapred for that!