SalientY
Member
So just some observations I've had: some may not agree and I'm sure some have also came to a similar point. This sounds like a super feminist take, and maybe it is a little, but honestly I approach it from a perspective of just what is healthy and proper for stable and successful men.
I live in the US. Our society is super commodified. You've gotta have the newest thing, the flashiest thing, the most pleasurable and enjoyable thing: food companies sold us sugar for decades and got people hooked on it. Now it's in everything. We don't need it, but we've been raised to expect it.
I feel sorta the same thinkinh has been given to us about women, and porn has emphasized it more than ever: the more beautiful, shapely, "flawless" a woman is, the more she is desirable. The more she has value and every man should want a woman deemed "valuable." This couldn't be further from the truth.
I'll delve a bit into my sexual history: I was mostly sexually active in my early 20s (I'm 30 now) and most of the women I had sex with were actually fairly attractive. One girlfriend was a sorority girl and I think most people would find her like 8/10 attractive. When I was 20 I had a one night stand with a cute 28 year old woman. I have been with pretty girls. But I'm realizing there is just so much more to women and people in general.
I know it sounds cliche as fuck that there is more to people than appearances but at this age in my life I am starting to realize how true it is. Let's say I had two choices: 1. I could have a fling for several months with an absolutely gorgeous 9/10 woman that I had to fake who I was with and do what she says in order for her to have sex with me. Or 2. I can have a less objectively attractive woman that I was comfortable around, cared about me, and whom I had a great sex life with. Number 2 every single time. At my age I need to plan for longevity and not short lived pleasures. Part of being a man is planning for the future and not just going for the quick reward.
I think porn sells a lot of men the lie that only the most beautiful women are worth your time and attentions, your erections and your orgasms: This can't be further from the truth. And not only that, it for certain wasn't the truth for most of human history. Most men who ever lived for millenia never had an endless supply of gorgeous naked women to look at.
I know it may sound sappy or super feminist, but it's the same with men: men aren't worth more or less because they are or are not attractive, are overweight, short, etc. It's generally just super shallow to view women so hypersexually but ultimately it is so horrendously harmful to a man's stability, sanity, and self esteem.
That being said I'm working on it. I've quit watching porn for the most part and while I've been masturbating, it is harder to keep an erection. I will be flatlining soon and I know it will be difficult. But just realize porn addiction isn't the way men are supposed to function, it has NEVER been the way men functioned. Think of the men who stormed the beaches at Normandy: masculine as fuck and most of them probably only ever saw a few average looking naked woman their whole life.
We are men and we are better than just drooling over women all the time. Just my thoughts.
I live in the US. Our society is super commodified. You've gotta have the newest thing, the flashiest thing, the most pleasurable and enjoyable thing: food companies sold us sugar for decades and got people hooked on it. Now it's in everything. We don't need it, but we've been raised to expect it.
I feel sorta the same thinkinh has been given to us about women, and porn has emphasized it more than ever: the more beautiful, shapely, "flawless" a woman is, the more she is desirable. The more she has value and every man should want a woman deemed "valuable." This couldn't be further from the truth.
I'll delve a bit into my sexual history: I was mostly sexually active in my early 20s (I'm 30 now) and most of the women I had sex with were actually fairly attractive. One girlfriend was a sorority girl and I think most people would find her like 8/10 attractive. When I was 20 I had a one night stand with a cute 28 year old woman. I have been with pretty girls. But I'm realizing there is just so much more to women and people in general.
I know it sounds cliche as fuck that there is more to people than appearances but at this age in my life I am starting to realize how true it is. Let's say I had two choices: 1. I could have a fling for several months with an absolutely gorgeous 9/10 woman that I had to fake who I was with and do what she says in order for her to have sex with me. Or 2. I can have a less objectively attractive woman that I was comfortable around, cared about me, and whom I had a great sex life with. Number 2 every single time. At my age I need to plan for longevity and not short lived pleasures. Part of being a man is planning for the future and not just going for the quick reward.
I think porn sells a lot of men the lie that only the most beautiful women are worth your time and attentions, your erections and your orgasms: This can't be further from the truth. And not only that, it for certain wasn't the truth for most of human history. Most men who ever lived for millenia never had an endless supply of gorgeous naked women to look at.
I know it may sound sappy or super feminist, but it's the same with men: men aren't worth more or less because they are or are not attractive, are overweight, short, etc. It's generally just super shallow to view women so hypersexually but ultimately it is so horrendously harmful to a man's stability, sanity, and self esteem.
That being said I'm working on it. I've quit watching porn for the most part and while I've been masturbating, it is harder to keep an erection. I will be flatlining soon and I know it will be difficult. But just realize porn addiction isn't the way men are supposed to function, it has NEVER been the way men functioned. Think of the men who stormed the beaches at Normandy: masculine as fuck and most of them probably only ever saw a few average looking naked woman their whole life.
We are men and we are better than just drooling over women all the time. Just my thoughts.