Can someone give me detailed information regarding relapses, and what is considered relapses. Is artificial stimuli "triggers" and coming across or reading erotic images a relapse, I don't try to avoid them, although I don't really read erotic stuff. I might of done similar posts, I'm not sure. I confused because I'm not sure where I stand, mainly because there is so many opinions on relapsing. Some people say masturbating to porn is a relapse, where as some people say that simply viewing porn or fantasising about it is a relapse. I don't know where artificial stimuli, erotic images or triggers fit in with it all. At the moment I'm being half hearted for more personal reasons, so I don't try to avoid manga, but I don't seek porn either, I have been off porn since February 2014, I want to make sure I'm at least doing something right till I'm able to work again. I understand that I may be a nusence, but I'm hoping someone could make me feel a little better. I'm trying my best. Porn isn't my only problem, I have other stuff to deal with, so I read manga. basically am I safe for now even if I might not be recovering like I should be?. I would also like to note that I tend to get thoughts on porn I used to watch, that can be quite intense, but generally not the cravings to go back to it. I actually don't know if what I am doing is really harmful or not. Deep down I have been messing around with these triggers and images for awhile now, maybe I did relapse. I'm stupid at times, and really over think things, but I don't want to go back to who I was which I fear as already happened.
A long topic but advice is really needed.
- Thread starter Un1111
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I would consider a relapse as intentionally doing anything that gets you excited - and that includes thinking about head porn to the extent that it gets you excited or just looking at porn. If you stumble across something unintentionally then I would not consider that as a relapse unless you intentionally dwell on it.
Remember we are trying to rewire our brains here. We have to break the link between porn (including head porn) and pleasure. If you feel yourself getting excited reading Manga then you're just helping to strengthen those unhealthy connections that we want to break. I've found that some of my triggers are totally unavoidable but I've learned to ignore them, not dwell on them or distract myself before the head porn gets in.
So if you can read Manga and dismiss or ignore the excitement any of those triggers give you then maybe it's not doing too much damage. If you're finding it hard to do that then I would suggest you avoid it altogether for a while.
Me, I'm only 26 days down the road so I may not be the best person to give advice but that's what I think from everything I've learned about all this.
Good luck!
Remember we are trying to rewire our brains here. We have to break the link between porn (including head porn) and pleasure. If you feel yourself getting excited reading Manga then you're just helping to strengthen those unhealthy connections that we want to break. I've found that some of my triggers are totally unavoidable but I've learned to ignore them, not dwell on them or distract myself before the head porn gets in.
So if you can read Manga and dismiss or ignore the excitement any of those triggers give you then maybe it's not doing too much damage. If you're finding it hard to do that then I would suggest you avoid it altogether for a while.
Me, I'm only 26 days down the road so I may not be the best person to give advice but that's what I think from everything I've learned about all this.
Good luck!
Think of PMO as like a drug. It releases chemicals in the brain which make you feel good which is why you want more. If you give up smoking for a while and then have just one cigarette, it puts nicotine back in your blood which your brain likes. It probably won't do too much harm but it certainly won't do you any good and it is far better to just not have any than risk sliding down the slippery slope back in to regular use again.
Every time you look at porn or MO it is the same as smoking a cigarette - it helps strengthen the pathways in your brain that you are trying to break (the ones that tell you porn = pleasure). It won't necessarily mean you are back to square one but it will be a few steps back.
I would strongly encourage you to not even look at anything that gets you excited - other than a real woman. It's so easy to start thinking that you did it once and you're still okay so you can do it again. And that leads to again, and again, and again, and before you know it you're hooked again and you really are back to square one. Just don't even go there, it's really not worth it.
I'm still at the stage where I'm thinking how awful it's going to be to not be able to look at porn ever again but I know that over time that feeling is going to disappear and when it does I'm going to be a much happier guy.
I've had plenty of addictions in my life. Cigarettes, alcohol, chocolate, gambling. I guess I have an addictive nature if such a thing exists but I've already given up cigarettes and alcohol and I only eat chocolate like a normal person now. Every time I had to give any of them up, it started off painfully awful. I hated that I wouldn't be able to go out and get drunk again. I couldn't see myself living the rest of my life without a cigarette. I enjoyed it too much. It really does go away but every time you go back you just make it much harder to get there. You really should cut porn out completely. Ask yourself this: Is it really worth a few minutes pleasure for a few months set back? Find a distraction. Have lots of distractions ready for when you get the urge. And don't do it. Soon you'll be really glad that you didn't!
Every time you look at porn or MO it is the same as smoking a cigarette - it helps strengthen the pathways in your brain that you are trying to break (the ones that tell you porn = pleasure). It won't necessarily mean you are back to square one but it will be a few steps back.
I would strongly encourage you to not even look at anything that gets you excited - other than a real woman. It's so easy to start thinking that you did it once and you're still okay so you can do it again. And that leads to again, and again, and again, and before you know it you're hooked again and you really are back to square one. Just don't even go there, it's really not worth it.
I'm still at the stage where I'm thinking how awful it's going to be to not be able to look at porn ever again but I know that over time that feeling is going to disappear and when it does I'm going to be a much happier guy.
I've had plenty of addictions in my life. Cigarettes, alcohol, chocolate, gambling. I guess I have an addictive nature if such a thing exists but I've already given up cigarettes and alcohol and I only eat chocolate like a normal person now. Every time I had to give any of them up, it started off painfully awful. I hated that I wouldn't be able to go out and get drunk again. I couldn't see myself living the rest of my life without a cigarette. I enjoyed it too much. It really does go away but every time you go back you just make it much harder to get there. You really should cut porn out completely. Ask yourself this: Is it really worth a few minutes pleasure for a few months set back? Find a distraction. Have lots of distractions ready for when you get the urge. And don't do it. Soon you'll be really glad that you didn't!
p.enlightenment
Member
Un1111 said:
It's never too late. Every day is an opportunity to quit porn for good and be the person you want to be.
As far as what's ok and what's not. Well, what's porn and what's not? If you go from looking at porn to looking at bikini models is that the right choice? That's a very slippery slope that will put you back at porn eventually. If you're quitting be serious about it. Don't look for technicalities and easy ways out. Many of us resort to porn to cope with stress and other problems. We need to replace porn with healthier habits like exercise to deal with stress instead. If you want to be porn free it's best to avoid all forms of artificial sexual stimulation: porn, lingerie, models, browsing pictures of girls, sex scenes in movies, you get the idea. Eventually when you come across these things by accident they won't affect you. But don't seek them out. Being porn free will eventually rewire your brain so you don't look at everything as a sexual opportunity, as I did when I was addicted.
Stay strong and focus on the positive things you can do. Focus on positive goals an positive habits to replace porn. If you don't have any positive habits you need to start some new ones. Quitting porn is really a life changing decision. You don't just quit porn, you change your life -- for the better.