Hi all


New Member
Hi all.. I want first to say that I'm Italian, so my english maybe can be a bit bad, sorry for that. I'll try to improve it during the times I'll spend here.

My story can me more or less the same old story that everyone of us as already heard.
During my early years I had some troubles with my mother, because she wasn't at home for health problems. When she was ok, and she returned home my brother was born, and I think I never had the love that I wanted from her. I was costantly feeling alone and insecure and everyone at school and in my town was bullying me.
This made me very sad, and I suspect that have also influenced my brain, in fact I think that because of this I was bedwetting until I was 14.
When I was 14 I changed school and I stopped bedwetting, but also another thing happened : my father finally installed an ADSL line @ my home.

The first thing I've done with internet was obviously seeking for porn. I am pretty sure that the end of bedwetting started with the compulsive addiction to porn. I always watched porn since the age of 15, expecially femdom things (and again, I think beacuse I haven't received love from woman in my ealrly age), and several times I was also caughted by my brother or my dad, but the never asked themselves why I watched porn so intesively. Only said to be more discrete.

At the age of 21 I discovered Vincenzo Punzi's story, an italian porn addicted which raised awareness Italy about porn addictin with his story and so I realised that I could be porn addicted.
I've tried to speak different times about this with my father or with my brother, but they never wanted to take my problem seriously. So basically I was alone with my porn addiction, also because I had no friends.

I am suffering also to affection addiction, I think mainly because I search my mother love in all the girls that I fall in love with. Obviously all the relathionship does not start, because I'm too needy with girls, in fact I never had a girlfriend.

This year I realized how much I have wasted my life with porn, waching back in years and seeing a lot of guys at my university taking the degree.
Now I'm 25, and I was able to make some friends, and they are helping me a lot, believing in me and pushing me to reach goals at the university. So I decided to quit porn addiction, to reboot, mainly for me, beacuse I'm 25 and I still have to take my bachelor (I lost 5 years :( ), but also for them, because I do not want to lose people because of this crappy addictoin. I hate it !!

I succesfully no PMO'ed for one week. Then I relapsed and felt very bad. But I do not want to complain on me, I want to quit this addiction, the past times no longer care for me.
I think that yes, I wasn't loved by my mother, but I can't complain about that for the rest of my life. I NEED TO CHANGE.

And I started to seach information about porn addiction, so I found your brain rebalanced and reboot nation, and I'm reading a lot of things about the addiction on my phone during my free time.
I also started to take care of me, for example I'm shaving every day now, I also started to take care of my eiebrows, and things like this. I'm also planning to go to the gym and to study for the remaing exam for the university.

I want to quit also because I meet a girl this year. But my porn addiction and my affect addiction make me act like a baby to her, and she obviously pushed me away. But now I want to fix things.

Today I restart my counter. My goal is to keep no PMO'ing for at least one month. I also have blocked al porn with opendns on my router, and I asked my brother to keep the password of the opendns account.

I hope I have not bored anyone with my story, and I hope to make many new friends and to be helpful for others.

Again, sorry for my english


Active Member
Leggere tutte le storie di gente che 'ce l'ha fatta' ? sicuramente d'aiuto. E' tutta una questione di auto-rispetto, convinzione e fiducia nei propri mezzi. Visto che hai fatto ripartire il counter da ieri ti auguro un sentito in bocca al lupo! Non mollare, e se molli una volta ricordati che non ? nulla. E' peggio non tentare che tentare e trovare delle buche per strada! ;)

read here: Recovery is non-linear (repeat this several times) - http://yourbrainonporn.com/node/79

"You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures." ? Charles C. Noble


New Member
Grazie per le parole ! Ce la metter? tutta !!!

Today I was busy at the university. I do haven't thinked about porn at all. I was ending a really cool project that I should introduce tomorrow at the Mathworks MATLAB  EXPO tomorrow in Italy.
I really enjoyed this prject, also because I have developed a lot of new code that can be used to rapid prototiping on Arduino with Simulink ( a tool of MATLAB).
I developed different simulink blocks to read and write data from sensor connected to an arduino, and the platform for testing the code was an airship.
Here you can see a pic : http://i62.tinypic.com/2db2tr7.jpg . I can attach more pics tomorrow.

I'm also chatting with a girl. She is engadged, but I think can me a positive things to have a female friend to talk, and listen to her opinions.
I think it can help me to avoid seeing girls only as material thing if I can see her only as a true friend.

In those days I'm thinking that porn addictoin makes us too needy against girls, or at least has this effect on me. I will indagate more on this during these days.
Now I'm going to sleep also because I want to close this laptop, and also because tomorrow is the great day for me and I will be a lot busy.
I hope to be able to reply to someone else topic during this week

Thank you all.