I am ready to fix this.

C

CollegeGuy

Member
Hello everyone.

I'm here for the same reason everyone else is. I didn't realize how much of an addict of PMO I was until I realized that I did it when I was sad, stressed, or bored. I started being late to school because I had to do it. I did it even when I didn't feel aroused. I needed it the same way some people needed to go out and smoke.

I have dealt with ED for a while now but on occasion I would be able to get hard and preform. But I think I have reached a point where I can no longer get a full erection. Even when I wake up I am soft.

I knew it was time to fix myself when I was making out with my boyfriend and we were having such a great time and he said, "If you get hard I want you to f*** me."

IF! We never openly talked about my problem but I felt so ashamed I couldn't preform for him the way I would like. I didn't get hard that night and I felt so upset.

I am a healthy man, I work out, go to school, ect. ect. I know porn is the problem...
So I will do my best to fix myself. I will fight urges. Keep myself way from porn. I just want to be well again.
 
C

CollegeGuy

Member
Today I woke up with an impressive erection. Fully hard.
I started to play with it out of habit but I didn't cum.
I realize this was just as bad and am ashamed.

See I love porn so much that I watch a lot. When I M and am about to cum I stop or go softer so I wont and thus can watch more porn.
I have been subconsciously edging for years now and that gives me delayed O.

But I had a strong erection this morning and that makes me happy. It makes me feel less broken... fixable.
 
C

CollegeGuy

Member
So I feel like being gay on this site is a bit of a determent. This is the second time I have utilized this place and I tend to never get replies or support.

I guess reading about my issues is something different? I don't know. I mean I am still an adult man with the same body parts and make up. Same wiring and same need to reboot.

--if reading about gay things make you uncomfortable stop reading here---

Sometimes I think GAY porn is more addicting than straight porn. When I watch straight porn and the guy and the girl are going at it I kind of concentrate on the guy most of the time. I assume that for straight guys they just look at the girl.

But imagine Gay porn? You take TWO hot people that you are attracted to and then they fuck each other.
Madness.

 
LS90

LS90

Active Member
Sexual preferences I think do not change much - addiction is addiction and we all have same problems/issues  :D

I didn't know you guys watched 'straight porn' as well.  ;D


ps: I would be an hypocrite if I didn't admit I have out of curiosity watched some gay porn, but that's just because porn addiction tends to bring us to "extreme" - I would define myself as straight - oh well anyway! keep it going  ;D
 
C

CollegeGuy

Member
Thanks for the support guys. I will check that forum out for sure!

And yeah I don't want to get TOO into LGBT stuff but there are two sides to sexuality, Gay and Straight. And you can be ANYWHERE in between. So you could be like Straight but every now and then watch gay porn, or right in the middle and be BI, or be somewhere in between bi and gay. Eh, its nothing to worry about. Gay porn is fun so I get why you've watched it before.

------


You guys it finally happened...

"Are you not attracted to me?"

...This almost destroyed me. I feel so broken.
 
C

CollegeGuy

Member
It's happening right now.
I have a physical need to watch porn.
I need it.
I want it so bad.

This is such a strange feeling.
I thought maybe typing on this forum would help me fight it off.
I want watch maybe just one video.
No I can't. I've been making progress and my erections are slowly coming back.

I want to throw my laptop across the room.
My body is craving porn.
I just want to watch a little.

I wont. I can't. I can fight this.

14 days without porn...
 
J

jkkk

Well-Known Member
Ditch that shit, man. Do not watch P.

It will not help.

If you want some comprehensive material on how to tackle and get through the reboot, I came across some interesting on this forum. If you wanted to get some tips, let me know on PM - I will gladly pass on the information.

The lack of responses is not because your gay - at least I hope so. The thing is that just not always posts get replies. This is the way this forum works. But if no one replies, get on, read other posts, discover. You will find plenty of material and thoughts that will help you. Worry not.

Keep on fighting, you're doing a great job!

J.
 
LS90

LS90

Active Member
Hope it went fine. Cravings are bad, next time jump away of your computer and go and something awesome. You can do it!  8)
 
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