i_need_faith
Member
Hey everybody. I found myself in a terrible situation. My fetishes are getting worse and worse and so do my compulsions, everytime I get back after some time free from porn, the fetishes seem stronger and also more disgusting. I won't take too much time but even though I started with normal porn and did only that for a while and I've always had crushes on girls. I got into gay porn/transex/cuckold/sissy and whatever. After a while, I felt I wanted to try to give a man some head in real life and this thing got me HOCD. I already told everything that's in between in another story so I won't repeat myself, just know that first was just porn, then I actually started fantasizing and jerking off to it and now I'm looking for announces and chatting with another man, and sending the pictures of my dick in exchange for pictures of them and say wild shit on the chat. After I come I feel awful and full of shame. The problem is that every time I get back to porn the escalation gets worse and worse and even if I'm free for a while, sometimes even months, eventually I get to a point where I start feeling urges very strongly, I'm unable to resist for how addictive they are and I look for more stimulation. The problem is it's beyond porn now. It feels like it's going one step further to a real-life encounter every time and it scares me and I don't want to do it but it feels like I'm forced to and I have no chance to combat it.