lyon03
Respected Member
Thanks for sharing brother. This is a raw, honest, and moving thread. It takes a lot of courage to post, fail, come back, and re-set that counter. You are on the right path and everything you are experiencing is normal and stems from your porn addiction, not from a lack of self-control nor weak moral character. While I'm rather early on in the recovery process, I tried and quit for years before really committing to no-PMO. This is what helped me:
1. Feeding the knowledge/kill the emotion: I read EVERYTHING about porn addiction (and would recommend starting with Gary Wilson's book, 'Your Brain on Porn'). Once I understood that porn had rewired my brain, I then understood why I was addicted to porn, then escorts, and then casual sex. Eventually porn no longer stimulates the brain enough so you start to seek new stimulation through things like escort sites, then real meetings with escorts, then transsexuals. You are not a deviant, your brain is just looking for a new high. It's like going from beer, to wine, then whiskey, then vodka etc. Porn addiction is an addiction to dopamine (the arousal chemical) and we get aroused through new, different, and exciting stimuli. Learn about this process.
2. Forgiveness: Once I understood the brain chemistry of addiction, I could then forgive myself for my actions. It took me decades of porn to get to where I was and this changed my brain. Once I understood the science, I could then stop feeling guilty and break the loop of low self-esteem feeding my addiction which feeds low self-esteem and so on.
3. Breaking Habits: Once I'd done 1 & 2, I then stopped the porn, stopped the meaningless sex/escorts/hook ups, started exercising, stopped watching TV, started reading, and later removed all of the toxic and soul-destroying relationships that simply resulted in my addiction. It's not easy but you've got to change the ingredients/recipe to get a different result. Once you re-set/reboot, you can then honesty determine whether you are bi, gay, straight etc. But in the heat of addiction/withdrawal, you'll never know.
4. Stop with the D*ck Obession: Like you, I have penis but my penis is no longer driving my life. Once I let go of the morning wood, 'will it be hard again?', 'can I perform?' d*ck obsession, I understood that my wood obsession was just feeding the same negative emotions of poor self-esteem and lack of confidence that led to my addiction. By giving my mind and phallus a rest, I could then regroup and focus on being a better person, rather than being a better erection.
I'm glad I found your thread and thank you so much for sharing. I see a lot of myself in what you've done (minus the trannies I have to admit). But I've done it all, sexually speaking. I also see a very honest and courageous person sharing here. Stay strong brother and keep posting. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.
1. Feeding the knowledge/kill the emotion: I read EVERYTHING about porn addiction (and would recommend starting with Gary Wilson's book, 'Your Brain on Porn'). Once I understood that porn had rewired my brain, I then understood why I was addicted to porn, then escorts, and then casual sex. Eventually porn no longer stimulates the brain enough so you start to seek new stimulation through things like escort sites, then real meetings with escorts, then transsexuals. You are not a deviant, your brain is just looking for a new high. It's like going from beer, to wine, then whiskey, then vodka etc. Porn addiction is an addiction to dopamine (the arousal chemical) and we get aroused through new, different, and exciting stimuli. Learn about this process.
2. Forgiveness: Once I understood the brain chemistry of addiction, I could then forgive myself for my actions. It took me decades of porn to get to where I was and this changed my brain. Once I understood the science, I could then stop feeling guilty and break the loop of low self-esteem feeding my addiction which feeds low self-esteem and so on.
3. Breaking Habits: Once I'd done 1 & 2, I then stopped the porn, stopped the meaningless sex/escorts/hook ups, started exercising, stopped watching TV, started reading, and later removed all of the toxic and soul-destroying relationships that simply resulted in my addiction. It's not easy but you've got to change the ingredients/recipe to get a different result. Once you re-set/reboot, you can then honesty determine whether you are bi, gay, straight etc. But in the heat of addiction/withdrawal, you'll never know.
4. Stop with the D*ck Obession: Like you, I have penis but my penis is no longer driving my life. Once I let go of the morning wood, 'will it be hard again?', 'can I perform?' d*ck obsession, I understood that my wood obsession was just feeding the same negative emotions of poor self-esteem and lack of confidence that led to my addiction. By giving my mind and phallus a rest, I could then regroup and focus on being a better person, rather than being a better erection.
I'm glad I found your thread and thank you so much for sharing. I see a lot of myself in what you've done (minus the trannies I have to admit). But I've done it all, sexually speaking. I also see a very honest and courageous person sharing here. Stay strong brother and keep posting. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.
I can definitely attest to the fact that not saturating your mind with artificial imagery certainly brings back ones libido, I am looking at all beautiful women with an appreciative sexualised curiosity they make me feel warm and enthusiastic inside like a little bit of magic keeps whipping by! I dunno how to explain it but it's a feeling that if not felt in a long time and I love it and the women can sense it, I'm now getting more attention and obvious attraction than I've had in a while! I'm kind of seeing a girl once a week very cute and hot I've explained I'm doing a reboot but as the performance anxiety was my first concern have taken pills every time I've been with her striving to give her the time of her life so she'll come back ( I know not an abundance mindset there) But I can now feel my penis during the day there is life to it I've felt it very slightly move! Still no real spontaneous erections or wet dreams am still hoping these happen, maybe I need a longer reboot as I've self abused my brain and criticized my manhood for so long, but gonna continue! Even tho I got 45 days on that clock as far as I'm concerned ic done 88 masturbating only three times, that's something considering I used to do it every night and sometimes days, I'd say I could have or would have jacked off possibly 100 times if it wasn't for this reboot, what a waste of my soul