Gosh I have 0 sex drive!
- Thread starter Crackers1
- Start date
Yeah but I'm also getting severe depression
Scorpio1990
Active Member
I have depression too man, your not alone
GBS
Respected Member
@Crackers1 - I don't know how far you are in, but I can recall a flatline period of time where I felt utterly asexual, and so unable to get aroused that a couple could have had hot sex in front of me and I wouldn't have been turned on.
The feeling went away. All the odd feelings go away, and they do get replaced by nicer feelings. It is worth the wait.
The feeling went away. All the odd feelings go away, and they do get replaced by nicer feelings. It is worth the wait.
Jlied
Active Member
@Crackers1 I hope my previous comment didn’t come across as insensitive, I certainly didn’t mean it that way. I was just trying to say that I’ve gone through a few flatlines one early on in my recovery process and then another one about 6 months ago. I relished the break from temptation and mental fatigue dealing with all that comes with rebooting. It lasted maybe a week or 2 and then things started coming back. I used that time to rest my mind and enjoy some other things.
No brother don't sweat it. I have pretty thick skin. Like I said previously I'm just scared to death with this whole process that I'll just remain With erectile dysfunction for the rest of my life. I almost felt like telling my wife to go and get a divorce and meet somebody else.
Beautiful1973
Active Member
I think those are all pretty normal concerns. I know my man(ex) struggled with the intimacy while he was consuming and then still struggled once he choose to start recovery….. my Counsellor told me yesterday it can take 1-2 years to come through the other side of this.
The only advice I can give you as a Woman and ex partner is to try to focus on intimate touch with your Wife and take the pressure of performance and lack of penetration.
Keep fighting fella
I think those are all pretty normal concerns. I know my man(ex) struggled with the intimacy while he was consuming and then still struggled once he choose to start recovery….. my Counsellor told me yesterday it can take 1-2 years to come through the other side of this.
The only advice I can give you as a Woman and ex partner is to try to focus on intimate touch with your Wife and take the pressure of performance and lack of penetration.
Keep fighting fella
Hey Blondie. Thanks. Got a question for you because you seem very intuitive and forthright. I've been getting super Low's in the mornings and and intense highs in the evening. One of my friends who went to Columbia University with me said he fears that I have bipolar disorder. Can this process create those types of symptoms. Reason why I'm saying is if I have bipolar disorder, then I have to go on an SSRI drug which has sexual side effects, which would defeat the whole purpose of why I'm trying to get my brain straight.
I think those are all pretty normal concerns. I know my man(ex) struggled with the intimacy while he was consuming and then still struggled once he choose to start recovery….. my Counsellor told me yesterday it can take 1-2 years to come through the other side of this.
The only advice I can give you as a Woman and ex partner is to try to focus on intimate touch with your Wife and take the pressure of performance and lack of penetration.
Keep fighting fella
Beautiful1973
Active Member
Hey @Crackers1 I know you asked this question to @Blondie but I have some insight into this also. Before my man finally admitted that he had a problem with porn consumption I thought he was showing symptoms of Bi Polar, he would have these massive highs, big lows, get depressed, angry….. he was a bloody nightmare quite frankly….. but from what I’ve read it’s the affect on the brain chemicals that create these highs & lows and mirror the symptoms of Bi Polar. Not to say that you don’t have it, but only your Physician could make a correct diagnosis.
Beautiful 1973: That's crazy that you said that, because I started really getting into porn in my twenties. Sure enough I had Met my wife when I was in my thirties. I was still very porn addicted, and actually went into a manic episode episode, end was getting erections all the time but they seem like false erections. It's also funny as I think about writing this I used to tell all my friends I never acted like this in my teens. Which is about the time I started really watching porn. I'm wondering if there is a correlation between the chemicals in your brain with bipolar disorder and pornography consumption. I've yet to find a therapist that would make that correlation. I most likely going to take a trip into Columbia University, and speak to some of their esteem faculty. As you know NYC is a hub of the top mental physicians
Also I hardly think a psychiatrist is going to make that correlation as he probably wants to put me on SSRI drugs and clock me at about $500 a session. I've been doing some real searching and I know I'm going to Find that someone who Understands this
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey @Crackers1, that's a good question. I can't speak for everyone, but yes, I did experience some of that during my reboot, especially when I first quit four years ago. Depression, happiness, often really quickly changing from moment to moment, was the name of the game for me. As @Beautiful1973 said, this is definitely the chemicals in your brain changing (which is great!) however, in the moment, it can be quite alarming. I just read you've been at this for 40 days or so, which is when my brain really started to change, with flatlines etc.
Did you feel a high when you first started? Because if you did, I did as well, however, after a while that high goes away, and then you have to face the real challenge, staying with it while not always feeling "motivated". You need to know, this will go away, but it will take time, and you just to need believe the process.
In all seriousness, I'm not a doctor though, so if you think you should see one, please do. But in of itself, I don't think it's that strange to be feeling these symptoms at this moment.
I hope that helps.
Best to you.
Did you feel a high when you first started? Because if you did, I did as well, however, after a while that high goes away, and then you have to face the real challenge, staying with it while not always feeling "motivated". You need to know, this will go away, but it will take time, and you just to need believe the process.
In all seriousness, I'm not a doctor though, so if you think you should see one, please do. But in of itself, I don't think it's that strange to be feeling these symptoms at this moment.
I hope that helps.
Best to you.
Beautiful1973
Active Member
At the end of my marriage I became very depressed, I was so depressed I couldn’t even identify with what was happening to me….. I went and had coffee with a friend and broke down in tears, she said ‘I don’t think you are OK’, and made me promise to go home and ring my Doctor….. she saved my life that day.
At the Doctors appointment I was so scared of medication and how it would affect my sex drive….. interesting how you can be severely depressed but still shitting yourself about your libido getting snuffed out by meds…. but I digress
Anyway I spoke at length about this with my Doctor and she prescribed an antidepressant that had less impact on my sex drive, which I later had to stop because it sent my blood pressure sky high, unfortunately a common side effect.
At the time I had been experimenting with CBD oil as it had recently become a prescription drug in NZ. I love it, mine doesn’t have THC, but I have played around with some of my man’s CBD oil which did contain THC and found that it enhances my arousal……anyway god sorry that’s enough of me talking about arousal
sorry fellas.If your open to it, do some research, the oil is balanced with the perfect dose of CBD to THC so you get the therapeutic benefits without the high, psychosis or negative affects of weed!
At the end of my marriage I became very depressed, I was so depressed I couldn’t even identify with what was happening to me….. I went and had coffee with a friend and broke down in tears, she said ‘I don’t think you are OK’, and made me promise to go home and ring my Doctor….. she saved my life that day.
At the Doctors appointment I was so scared of medication and how it would affect my sex drive….. interesting how you can be severely depressed but still shitting yourself about your libido getting snuffed out by meds…. but I digress
Anyway I spoke at length about this with my Doctor and she prescribed an antidepressant that had less impact on my sex drive, which I later had to stop because it sent my blood pressure sky high, unfortunately a common side effect.
At the time I had been experimenting with CBD oil as it had recently become a prescription drug in NZ. I love it, mine doesn’t have THC, but I have played around with some of my man’s CBD oil which did contain THC and found that it enhances my arousal……anyway god sorry that’s enough of me talking about arousal
If your open to it, do some research, the oil is balanced with the perfect dose of CBD to THC so you get the therapeutic benefits without the high, psychosis or negative affects of weed!
Blondie I can tell you this the 1st 2 weeks I would run for about a mile and a 1/2 and do an elliptical workout On the hardest setting and still be manic. I couldn't go anywhere Without almost tearing my steering wheel out of the column. Right now I'm finding it very hard to work out as I feel very lethargic. I still have intense worries but that's during the morning in the middle of the afternoon and then it subsides earlier afternoon. What I found out though is my Mania would go on to about 5 or 6 o'clock in the evening and as in the evening and as of today it backed off around 2 o'clock and I feel more calm. I can't even say what I'm going through. All I know is I wanna see light at the end of the tunnel. People have said that I sound like my old self again, Minus the porn… lol. But I still am super worried.
Beautiful 1973 don't laugh I used to be able to get directions smoking weed. A lot of psychiatrists and therapist are starting to really push the angle with alternates from your traditional psychiatric medicine. I've also changed my diet incredibly. I've dropped 60 pounds in a month and a 1/2. But I still have a ton of weight to go. That also isn't helping my Libido. Blondie and beautiful 1973 where do you to live... what States? I don't mind if you don't want to answer just curious.I live in New Jersey. Place is a frigging toilet bowl. Told my wife I wanna move. We are such an unhealthy state.At the end of my marriage I became very depressed, I was so depressed I couldn’t even identify with what was happening to me….. I went and had coffee with a friend and broke down in tears, she said ‘I don’t think you are OK’, and made me promise to go home and ring my Doctor….. she saved my life that day.
At the Doctors appointment I was so scared of medication and how it would affect my sex drive….. interesting how you can be severely depressed but still shitting yourself about your libido getting snuffed out by meds…. but I digress
Anyway I spoke at length about this with my Doctor and she prescribed an antidepressant that had less impact on my sex drive, which I later had to stop because it sent my blood pressure sky high, unfortunately a common side effect.
At the time I had been experimenting with CBD oil as it had recently become a prescription drug in NZ. I love it, mine doesn’t have THC, but I have played around with some of my man’s CBD oil which did contain THC and found that it enhances my arousal……anyway god sorry that’s enough of me talking about arousal
If your open to it, do some research, the oil is balanced with the perfect dose of CBD to THC so you get the therapeutic benefits without the high, psychosis or negative affects of weed!
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey @Crackers1, it sounds to me you're on the right path, especially if you're friends are noticing a difference. The exciting thing about all of this, is that in some ways you almost learn about yourself for the "first" time, especially your personality.
Keep chugging along, and you'll get there.
I'm still learning things and I'm a year out lol.
Keep chugging along, and you'll get there.
I'm still learning things and I'm a year out lol.
Beautiful1973
Active Member
To some extent.I still need to understand intimacy over lust and pornography. Little by little I feel somewhat better.I have been more attentive to my wife,but it will take a looooong time before she even finds me remotely desirable again.I causesld this, not her.