anon123456
New Member
Hi Guys,
I have struggled with porn for the last 7 or so years of my life. I'm 25 years old now and I'm making a commitment to stop. I have a few questions but want to share my story first for some background. Porn was always used as a de-stresser and a 'downer'.
I started looking at porn late in high school, when i was like 18 years old. I used porn about 3-4 days a week but some months I would go only 4 times using porn. Throughout college the porn use continued and increased sometimes twice a day but always only a few days a week. During college I ended up dating a girl for about 6-7 months. I struggled to keep an erection at times but always attributed it to bad luck with condoms as I was able to go with no issue when not using them and my girl was on BC. After graduating college I went for a period of time where porn was my main stimulant and I had a few random flings in between but nothing concrete. In the last year my life started to change a little bit but the porn use didn't change much. In the spring I had a girl that I was sleeping with consistently and rarely had any issues. Only 1 time when using a condom. Again I attributed it to the condom. My porn usage in the last 5 months decreased to 2-3 times a week with long spurts 2-3 weeks of not looking at it at all. I always used it as a de-stresser.
Anyway in the last month and a half I began dating this awesome girl. The first few times we had sex I had no issue keeping a hard erection. I then started to look at porn 2-3 times a week. A couple of weeks ago I lost my erection during sex. I thought nothing of it no big deal. Next time we went at it no issues. Then it happened like 2-3 times in a row. After this last happening last week I did some research on porn and some of the dangers and I'm thinking it might be porn induced ED. Since last week I haven't looked at porn and haven't masturbated. Going on 5 days now. I'm committed to beating porn and masturbation because this girl is special and I know the tension that the issues are causing on the relationship.
Because of the on/off feeling of libido i'm having i'm not sure if this is performance anxiety or PIED. I made a decision to tell her today that I've struggled with porn and masturbation in my life and I think it may be contributing to what has recently been happening. This floored her and she needed some space to understand. At first I said that because of this I wanted to try to take a break from sex to heal up a little bit. She took this equally as hard but after talking it out more she is willing to put the brakes on sex for a few weeks to try and give me a little time to recover. I explained that I really needed her support throughout the process and how much it means to be able to tell her about it.
My question is what are the chances that it is performance anxiety? I do know that in my head i've been making it this huge task that I have to last a certain period of time and that I have to do it a certain way and etc etc. I know that these things are from porn and masturbation and that my outlook on sex is warped. I'm fighting my brain to look at sex with my GF as an enjoyable and affectionate act and try to stay in the moment. The times I was able to the ED was non existent and the sex was great. The feels and sensations are just amazing.
Also what are the chances that I can fully reboot while still having sex with my GF? We are very affectionate with each other besides just sex and at some point in the next few weeks she's going to want to have sex, she is free with her body and sex and has a high sex drive. I'm also going to want to because I still want to have sex with her just seeing her laying next to me but the guy downstairs doesn't want to cooperate.
What are your thoughts guys & gals? Thanks in advance for any insight & help provided.
I have struggled with porn for the last 7 or so years of my life. I'm 25 years old now and I'm making a commitment to stop. I have a few questions but want to share my story first for some background. Porn was always used as a de-stresser and a 'downer'.
I started looking at porn late in high school, when i was like 18 years old. I used porn about 3-4 days a week but some months I would go only 4 times using porn. Throughout college the porn use continued and increased sometimes twice a day but always only a few days a week. During college I ended up dating a girl for about 6-7 months. I struggled to keep an erection at times but always attributed it to bad luck with condoms as I was able to go with no issue when not using them and my girl was on BC. After graduating college I went for a period of time where porn was my main stimulant and I had a few random flings in between but nothing concrete. In the last year my life started to change a little bit but the porn use didn't change much. In the spring I had a girl that I was sleeping with consistently and rarely had any issues. Only 1 time when using a condom. Again I attributed it to the condom. My porn usage in the last 5 months decreased to 2-3 times a week with long spurts 2-3 weeks of not looking at it at all. I always used it as a de-stresser.
Anyway in the last month and a half I began dating this awesome girl. The first few times we had sex I had no issue keeping a hard erection. I then started to look at porn 2-3 times a week. A couple of weeks ago I lost my erection during sex. I thought nothing of it no big deal. Next time we went at it no issues. Then it happened like 2-3 times in a row. After this last happening last week I did some research on porn and some of the dangers and I'm thinking it might be porn induced ED. Since last week I haven't looked at porn and haven't masturbated. Going on 5 days now. I'm committed to beating porn and masturbation because this girl is special and I know the tension that the issues are causing on the relationship.
Because of the on/off feeling of libido i'm having i'm not sure if this is performance anxiety or PIED. I made a decision to tell her today that I've struggled with porn and masturbation in my life and I think it may be contributing to what has recently been happening. This floored her and she needed some space to understand. At first I said that because of this I wanted to try to take a break from sex to heal up a little bit. She took this equally as hard but after talking it out more she is willing to put the brakes on sex for a few weeks to try and give me a little time to recover. I explained that I really needed her support throughout the process and how much it means to be able to tell her about it.
My question is what are the chances that it is performance anxiety? I do know that in my head i've been making it this huge task that I have to last a certain period of time and that I have to do it a certain way and etc etc. I know that these things are from porn and masturbation and that my outlook on sex is warped. I'm fighting my brain to look at sex with my GF as an enjoyable and affectionate act and try to stay in the moment. The times I was able to the ED was non existent and the sex was great. The feels and sensations are just amazing.
Also what are the chances that I can fully reboot while still having sex with my GF? We are very affectionate with each other besides just sex and at some point in the next few weeks she's going to want to have sex, she is free with her body and sex and has a high sex drive. I'm also going to want to because I still want to have sex with her just seeing her laying next to me but the guy downstairs doesn't want to cooperate.
What are your thoughts guys & gals? Thanks in advance for any insight & help provided.