Hey, guys!
Alright, so the name of my journal is a bit cheeky, but I figured the lot of you will get a chuck or two out of it. I stumbled upon this website a while go - more specifically the 'yourbrainonporn' website. I found it an interesting read at first and didn't even ponder it about my own life until recently.
I'd say I'm a pretty lucky guy. I was born in 1985 and I didn't discover boobies or naughty magazines until double digit years. I can't remember exactly, but I can remember I didn't start masturbating until my teenage years. I was sexually active for the first time on my 15th birthday. I'd say as a teenager, I used porn in cases where I couldn't have sex, and because I had quite the sex drive. It was the days of 28k dial up internet, so it was still mostly about those Sports Illustrated Swimsuit editions and any kind of stuff I could get my hands on before my connection was interrupted or before my Dad caught me.
It started off innocently, just looking at traditional sex. I was never fond of anal sex, and I didn't start to look any 'more hardcore' type of pornography until lately, when I started to realize that the old stuff wasn't doing it for me anymore.
Through the years I didn't have this problem because I was a womanizing gamer for many years. The constant stream of different sexual partners meant I didn't have to watch pornography a lot, but in the last 6 years I have had just three different partners. During this time - in retrospect - is when I can really start to see some issues coming up. But to spare such a long story, I'll share the moment when I realized something was amiss.
I am extremely attracted to my girlfriend who I'm going to marry in less than a month. When I was searching for pornography, I'd always try to find a woman with the exact body type that she has. So, you'd think that's awesome, right? Me too! Except that it started with a blow job while watching porn... then softcore movies while having sex... then finally hardcore pornography while having sex... until I realized that unless we had pornography in the background, nothing was going to happen.
We tried to get it on one night and for the first time in my entire sexual life, I was unable to achieve orgasm. I was absolutely embarrassed and red-faced... but I remembered this site. I literally go out of bed, sat my butt on the chair, and searched for this page again. I read the site in nothing but my birthday suit. My girlfriend was laying in bed quite shocked, and I turned around and said, "That's it. No more porn. Ever." This was 8 days ago. I deleted every trace of pornography I had on the PC, deleted all bookmarks, removed myself from all types of content of that type... everything!
I am adhering to a STRICT nofap schedule. No masturbating at all - but as much sex with my lovely girlfriend as I can get! I realize that I'm a bit lucky in that I have a girlfriend who was only too happy to support me in giving up pornography, but also will not emotionally scar or make fun of me if I can't finish the deed. So that's my story.
I have a lot of regrets in terms of pornography and my sexual life, but if my brain can reboot and re-wire, then there is no time like now to do that.
Alright, so the name of my journal is a bit cheeky, but I figured the lot of you will get a chuck or two out of it. I stumbled upon this website a while go - more specifically the 'yourbrainonporn' website. I found it an interesting read at first and didn't even ponder it about my own life until recently.
I'd say I'm a pretty lucky guy. I was born in 1985 and I didn't discover boobies or naughty magazines until double digit years. I can't remember exactly, but I can remember I didn't start masturbating until my teenage years. I was sexually active for the first time on my 15th birthday. I'd say as a teenager, I used porn in cases where I couldn't have sex, and because I had quite the sex drive. It was the days of 28k dial up internet, so it was still mostly about those Sports Illustrated Swimsuit editions and any kind of stuff I could get my hands on before my connection was interrupted or before my Dad caught me.
It started off innocently, just looking at traditional sex. I was never fond of anal sex, and I didn't start to look any 'more hardcore' type of pornography until lately, when I started to realize that the old stuff wasn't doing it for me anymore.
Through the years I didn't have this problem because I was a womanizing gamer for many years. The constant stream of different sexual partners meant I didn't have to watch pornography a lot, but in the last 6 years I have had just three different partners. During this time - in retrospect - is when I can really start to see some issues coming up. But to spare such a long story, I'll share the moment when I realized something was amiss.
I am extremely attracted to my girlfriend who I'm going to marry in less than a month. When I was searching for pornography, I'd always try to find a woman with the exact body type that she has. So, you'd think that's awesome, right? Me too! Except that it started with a blow job while watching porn... then softcore movies while having sex... then finally hardcore pornography while having sex... until I realized that unless we had pornography in the background, nothing was going to happen.
We tried to get it on one night and for the first time in my entire sexual life, I was unable to achieve orgasm. I was absolutely embarrassed and red-faced... but I remembered this site. I literally go out of bed, sat my butt on the chair, and searched for this page again. I read the site in nothing but my birthday suit. My girlfriend was laying in bed quite shocked, and I turned around and said, "That's it. No more porn. Ever." This was 8 days ago. I deleted every trace of pornography I had on the PC, deleted all bookmarks, removed myself from all types of content of that type... everything!
I am adhering to a STRICT nofap schedule. No masturbating at all - but as much sex with my lovely girlfriend as I can get! I realize that I'm a bit lucky in that I have a girlfriend who was only too happy to support me in giving up pornography, but also will not emotionally scar or make fun of me if I can't finish the deed. So that's my story.
I have a lot of regrets in terms of pornography and my sexual life, but if my brain can reboot and re-wire, then there is no time like now to do that.
it's, in my view, the accumulation of reboot wisdom on this site. Read and ask in my thread or PM me if you have any questions.