Caribou115
Member
Hi, all
Unlike my smoking addiction, there is/was a pretty short period of time between me realizing that porn was a problem for me, and actually try to fix it (I only came across the term 'reboot' yesterday).
My situation:
I'm 26y old and can remember only a handfull (pun intended) of times where I have masturbated without visual stimulation. From the age of 13, I started looking at porn. Soft porn, erotic pictures at first, 'real porn' later on (doggystyles, etc...) and ultimately developing a huge fetish for facials and swallowing the last couple of years. All in all, pretty mainstream porn (cumshots are everwhere), and nothing like extreme stuff (bondage, s&m, rape...).
I have had sex only a couple of times in my life, the last time being a long long time ago...
I've never been good with the ladies, although it's mostly because of a lack of trying and a lack of exposure to be honest. I'm a normal looking guy, and if there happens to be a period where I'm in regular contact with girls/women, I seem to generate a bit interest.
My first sex at the age of 17 with my girlfriend of the time, was pretty bad. She didn't seem to enjoy it. Later on in the relationship she said she felt guilty towards her mom for having pre-marital sex and also said I was too big for her. I had no real performance issues at that time, although I do remember struggling hard to reach an orgasm. I haven't had a girlfriend since the age of 18.
During my college years, I had only a couple of opportunities to have sex. It failed every time because I could not get hard. I would come up with a lame excuse (like I ate something wrong, wasn't feeling too good), went home and masturbated with no problem.
Despite all of this, I never felt like I was addicted to porn and even now I wouldn't say that. Porn was never a goal in itself for me, just a means. I never binge-watched, never did that edging thing (maybe for a couple of minutes once in a while). I masturbated once a day for the last 13-14 years (some exceptions), every time with porn. I almost never masturbated without it, and if I did I had trouble maintaining an erection and it took considerably longer for me to climax.
Recently I hired an escort. She came over, but I didn't feel anytime. I felt very asexual. I paid her and she left, without even having touched her at all (or seen a nipple). A few years back I visited a brothel. That was a similar experience. She had my dick in her mouth, and even by trying really hard I could only get semi-hard. Did not orgasm and left after it got awkward.
I have been thinking about it for some weeks now, and I have decided to stop watching porn. This is day 1. The trigger for this decision was I caught myself thinking on multiple occasions that I do not regret at all not having had a girlfriend and I wouldn't mind being alone my whole life as long as I have other friends. After all, meeting my sexual needs can be met easily by watching porn. Porn alleviated me from the drive to meet a real woman.
I was alert enough to realise that this is complete bullshit and unnatural/unhealthy so I started doing some research and ended up getting some really insightful information.
I think quitting the porn itself won't be TOO much of a problem, although the rewiring of my brain to be able to get excited by normal stimuli might take a long while.
Any comments would be appreciated.
For now, just one question: Is it ok to masturbate without porn during this reboot-period, or is that counterproductive?
Tnx for reading.
Unlike my smoking addiction, there is/was a pretty short period of time between me realizing that porn was a problem for me, and actually try to fix it (I only came across the term 'reboot' yesterday).
My situation:
I'm 26y old and can remember only a handfull (pun intended) of times where I have masturbated without visual stimulation. From the age of 13, I started looking at porn. Soft porn, erotic pictures at first, 'real porn' later on (doggystyles, etc...) and ultimately developing a huge fetish for facials and swallowing the last couple of years. All in all, pretty mainstream porn (cumshots are everwhere), and nothing like extreme stuff (bondage, s&m, rape...).
I have had sex only a couple of times in my life, the last time being a long long time ago...
I've never been good with the ladies, although it's mostly because of a lack of trying and a lack of exposure to be honest. I'm a normal looking guy, and if there happens to be a period where I'm in regular contact with girls/women, I seem to generate a bit interest.
My first sex at the age of 17 with my girlfriend of the time, was pretty bad. She didn't seem to enjoy it. Later on in the relationship she said she felt guilty towards her mom for having pre-marital sex and also said I was too big for her. I had no real performance issues at that time, although I do remember struggling hard to reach an orgasm. I haven't had a girlfriend since the age of 18.
During my college years, I had only a couple of opportunities to have sex. It failed every time because I could not get hard. I would come up with a lame excuse (like I ate something wrong, wasn't feeling too good), went home and masturbated with no problem.
Despite all of this, I never felt like I was addicted to porn and even now I wouldn't say that. Porn was never a goal in itself for me, just a means. I never binge-watched, never did that edging thing (maybe for a couple of minutes once in a while). I masturbated once a day for the last 13-14 years (some exceptions), every time with porn. I almost never masturbated without it, and if I did I had trouble maintaining an erection and it took considerably longer for me to climax.
Recently I hired an escort. She came over, but I didn't feel anytime. I felt very asexual. I paid her and she left, without even having touched her at all (or seen a nipple). A few years back I visited a brothel. That was a similar experience. She had my dick in her mouth, and even by trying really hard I could only get semi-hard. Did not orgasm and left after it got awkward.
I have been thinking about it for some weeks now, and I have decided to stop watching porn. This is day 1. The trigger for this decision was I caught myself thinking on multiple occasions that I do not regret at all not having had a girlfriend and I wouldn't mind being alone my whole life as long as I have other friends. After all, meeting my sexual needs can be met easily by watching porn. Porn alleviated me from the drive to meet a real woman.
I was alert enough to realise that this is complete bullshit and unnatural/unhealthy so I started doing some research and ended up getting some really insightful information.
I think quitting the porn itself won't be TOO much of a problem, although the rewiring of my brain to be able to get excited by normal stimuli might take a long while.
Any comments would be appreciated.
For now, just one question: Is it ok to masturbate without porn during this reboot-period, or is that counterproductive?
Tnx for reading.
