Hey everyone, so while this is my first post, today is not my first day of rebooting. I'm currently a week into the process (started last Monday), and these past couple of days have been pretty rough. I thought by starting one of these journals, it would help me stay motivated to not relapse.
Anyway, my story goes something like this. I'm a 22 year old gay male, and I started using porn when I was in the 7th grade. I remember I had looked at underwear ads on different websites before 7th grade, but I specifically remember that it was 7th grade that I started watch porn videos online. I would come home from school every day, lock myself in my room and masturbate. This became my daily routine throughout middle school and high school. At first, all I needed were a few short clips, and I would reach orgasm. However, over time it took longer and longer for me to get off. I didn't really think anything of it and never thought that what I was doing was unhealthy in any way (and I still thought like this until very recently).
In college, I got my first boyfriend and along with that, I began to have sex. It was a really strange experience for me because I almost preferred watching porn and getting off to that rather than actual sex. I didn't think a lot about that, but eventually it seemed like my porn usage was getting in the way of me having a healthy sex life with my boyfriend. While I never stopped using porn when we were together, I did use it less frequently. But sometimes I just wanted to watch that and get off than spend time with my boyfriend or become intimate with him.
Fast forward to this year, I'm single and looking for a relationship. I meet a few guys but every time we are about to have sex, I have a hard time getting hard. This leads to some embarrassing situations, but I didn't think a lot of it. I thought to myself "oh I guess I just wasn't attracted to him" or "oh, I just got off a couple of hours ago, so of course it's going to be hard to get it up." Then one day a couple of weeks ago, I happen upon some youtube videos that led me to this site. The videos talked all about these problems guys were having because they were basically addicted to porn. At first, I thought "oh that's not me." But I watched these different videos and eventually came to the conclusion that the stories I was hearing sounded a lot like my situation. I could easily get hard to porn and get off eventually, but it was harder for me to get aroused from contact with an actual person.
Anyway, after thinking about what I wanted to do about my situation, I decided to give the reboot process a try. So far, I've been pretty proud of myself. It's been 8 days since I last got off, and it's been a long time since that has happened. I'm hoping that by getting on here and writing my story (as well as reading others' stories), it will help ease the process of rebooting and curb some of my temptation to get off to porn. Thanks for listening, guys!
Anyway, my story goes something like this. I'm a 22 year old gay male, and I started using porn when I was in the 7th grade. I remember I had looked at underwear ads on different websites before 7th grade, but I specifically remember that it was 7th grade that I started watch porn videos online. I would come home from school every day, lock myself in my room and masturbate. This became my daily routine throughout middle school and high school. At first, all I needed were a few short clips, and I would reach orgasm. However, over time it took longer and longer for me to get off. I didn't really think anything of it and never thought that what I was doing was unhealthy in any way (and I still thought like this until very recently).
In college, I got my first boyfriend and along with that, I began to have sex. It was a really strange experience for me because I almost preferred watching porn and getting off to that rather than actual sex. I didn't think a lot about that, but eventually it seemed like my porn usage was getting in the way of me having a healthy sex life with my boyfriend. While I never stopped using porn when we were together, I did use it less frequently. But sometimes I just wanted to watch that and get off than spend time with my boyfriend or become intimate with him.
Fast forward to this year, I'm single and looking for a relationship. I meet a few guys but every time we are about to have sex, I have a hard time getting hard. This leads to some embarrassing situations, but I didn't think a lot of it. I thought to myself "oh I guess I just wasn't attracted to him" or "oh, I just got off a couple of hours ago, so of course it's going to be hard to get it up." Then one day a couple of weeks ago, I happen upon some youtube videos that led me to this site. The videos talked all about these problems guys were having because they were basically addicted to porn. At first, I thought "oh that's not me." But I watched these different videos and eventually came to the conclusion that the stories I was hearing sounded a lot like my situation. I could easily get hard to porn and get off eventually, but it was harder for me to get aroused from contact with an actual person.
Anyway, after thinking about what I wanted to do about my situation, I decided to give the reboot process a try. So far, I've been pretty proud of myself. It's been 8 days since I last got off, and it's been a long time since that has happened. I'm hoping that by getting on here and writing my story (as well as reading others' stories), it will help ease the process of rebooting and curb some of my temptation to get off to porn. Thanks for listening, guys!
