This is My Story

[Mike Lowery]

I started watching porn when I was 13-14 years old, which is also about the same time I began to masturbate. I never had high speed internet growing up so I usually resorted to soft-core late night television to get my fix. When I finally got access to dial up internet  I would look up images/stills of my favorite female celebrities who had posed nude for playboy, or hustler etc. When we upgraded to high speed internet, I became intrigued and fascinated by hardcore porn, and would neglect my studies for hours to watch porn and masturbate continuously. Over the years, I have noticed that my tastes in porn have changed, I found myself suddenly interested weird fetishes and BDSM. Things further progressed when I discovered cam sites (where normal everyday girls could become porn stars from the comfort of their own bedrooms). These particular sites took my addiction to a whole new level, not only was this porn, but it was porn on a personal/ social level that completely toyed with my emotions (needless to say I got too involved/ carried away). Currently I am 25 years old, and till this day I still constantly think/fantasize about porn and sex, and as a result I masturbate in excess of 7-10 times a day. As expected I have the usual symptoms associated with excessive porn use and masturbation. At this point in time I can't help but feel I am doomed, and destined for a life filled with porn and masturbation. My behavior is not only distracting me but its interfering with my studies, social life, and family life. I absolutely hate that I've let myself get to this point, but I am taking the first initiative and admitting I have a problem, and that I need help. I want to set myself free and feel normal again. I welcome any and all advice as I begin my reboot on this 11th day of November 2014. Thanks for reading.

 

[qrayzHD]

Mike congrats on making the decision to better yourself, my advice would be to avoid all artificial sexual stimulation including music videos, erotic youtube videos, erotic novels and sexual fantasy. Don't expect to be healed in a certain time frame as everyone is different but setting a goal like 30, 60, 90 days etc gives you a sense of achievement and another reason not to relapse. Keep us updated 

 

[Mike Lowery]

Thanks for your reply qrayz, I think I can abstain from watching/viewing porn and masturbating, but I've become so ingrained with fantasizing about sex that it will be difficult not to. Any advice? Also does having a sexual fantasy constitute a relapse?

 

[qrayzHD]

Since quitting porn my fantasies naturally became fewer and fewer to a point where i no longer fantasize at all, hopefully with time that will be the case for you too, it has been said that fantasizing about porn uses the same pathways as porn does, to my knowledge it isn't clear if fantasy about a partner acts the same way. Here is a link about what stimuli you should avoid.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-stimuli-must-i-avoid-during-my-reboot-did-i-relapse

 

[Mike Lowery]

Thanks for the reply qrayz, I hope my fantasies subside with time. I will definitely check out that link. I appreciate the feedback