trying 2 quit! journal.

[AGuyWhoWantsANewStart]

hello, i wish to keep my name private but my group of online friends call me Doggo as my username is (but not here so i wouldn't be identified when i'm gaming) dog-related.

who am i? meet me, Doggo, i'm a almost 15 year old boy from the Netherlands. don't worry: i grew up with 2 languages so no need for a translate text!
i love gaming and music the most! i started masturbating while i was trying to get every ending possible in a game, then a female character got, well, a little intimate.


i have been trying to quit porn for at least a year now. girls don't like me, i'm the weird kid, my schoolgrades are getting lower... i only want a happy life and porn is like cancer: it's gone for a bit but it comes back!
i keep on having a good streak of not masturbating but my main mindset is: "i'll never get a relationship anyways so why not?"
that's how insecure i am and i think having a relationship or someone who loves would really help me out. not saying that you must find me and have a relationship, nonono but i think having someone close would also be enough, someone who doesn't know me in real life and won't judge me.

one thing that really got me far and not masturbating for a month(!) is writing a book. i'm currently writing a book and it's really nice.
another thing is calligraphy: it's meditation 2.0 and it's lovely. unfortunate i can only do it once in a few weeks and next week i get the oppertunity again!!! yay!!!

have a lovely day.
-Doggo

if anyone wishes to speak to me i'll be online as much as possible!

 

[AGuyWhoWantsANewStart]

so, today is day 0. i masturbated early in the morning and then worked on digital science. to my suprise it was about porn. there was a question where i needed to watch a video. in that video i learned that porn is actually really bd.

ever since porn doesn't make me happy on the long term, i wish to QUIT!!! so, no relapses and i got this!

i'll update this journal every once in a while. ciao

 

[Weetakker]

Hey, man. You’re still young and you have not spent years and years watching porn on high-speed Internet. It seems to me from what you are writing that porn is a way to escape from an issue you’re having: lack of confidence, inability to get girls, etc. My advise as someone who has been watching porn for decades and started around your age? Talk to a professional about whatever issues you think you are having with your self-esteem. If you read the journals of other people, you’ll realize that the addictions were created because people made it a habit to watch porn to escape from their problems (myself included). It doesn’t sound like it’s a habit for you yet. Plus you’re going through puberty. Your hormones are raging, and it’s natural to want to explore things sexually and learn about sex (yes, that includes watching porn). Talk to a professional who is going to help you work through your issues and you’ll see that the desire to watch porn will lessen/become healthy. Cheers!