I've been in your shoes before. After every relapse, as the matter of fact. It's been 9 years since I introduced myself to porn and I've been where you're at more times than I can count. The truth is, there's only two options: Continue down your current path into oblivion or get your act together. I know that that may not sound encouraging, but that's where I'm at right now and I want to help you.
Most of my adult life has been hampered by porn use. I've hit rock bottom more than once and somehow found a way to get lower. I'm sick and tired of it. I can't live like this anymore and I'm not going to. Your hatred for porn has to overcome your urge to relapse. Things can only get better if you quit and they can only get worse if you continue. Don't look at it like "your counter sets to zero" after a relapse. It doesn't have to. It's going to be a bitch to get back up on the wagon, but it can be done. Others have done it and so can you. I bet you've done it before too. Gone a while, relapsed, then gone a while again before it all falls apart. I have too.
It's a monumental task to getting sober and staying there. If you feel you need therapy, you may be right. But there is no special technique that'll magically cure you. It doesn't exist. You'll only quit when you truly want to quit and make yourself go through with it. Don't ask for it to be easier, ask yourself to be strong enough. My strength comes from God. I don't know where yours comes from, but people of all walks of life have struggled with this and overcome it. Good luck, friend. I hope this helps.
