On my way to success!

[Rollin]

Hello everyone,

First of all, I want to introduce myself and tell you why I am here. I am currently 18 years old and I consider myself as a handsome guy, I am going to the gym for 2 years now, chicks are often looking at me and smiling, but for some reasons I have a lack of confidence, depression, anxiety and I am not very social. I have read so many articles about confidence building, anxiety, social life, depression and etc., but nothing seems to fit all of my characteristics until now.

Lately I noticed that I have low libido and softer erections than what they used to be, I don't even have a morning wood anymore. After researching about the possible causes, I have come to this website where it feels like I can find myself in just every other guy's problems. I have watched porn since I was 13 and I have never thought that I am addicted to porn, but now after reading so much about the topic, I consider my addiction as a severe one. I just don't enjoy normal porn as much as before and I always need something different and more extreme to satisfy my needs, I enjoy just every porn even if it doesn't fit my sexual orientation.

I highly believe that I found the root of my problems and I want to fix them once for all, but in order to do that I need motivation and this journal is my motivation.

 

[nobother]

Rollin -

Glad you made it here.  Your goal is, well, rather lengthy.  I have seen in recovery that baby steps are more obtainable.  Perhaps you would like to re-think your goal of PMO in smaller, obtainable segments.  Not too small - too easily obtained - bit in increments that show strength and dedication.  One month to start - then 4 months - then 8 months - then one year - etc.  I'm afraid if you set your sights too far ahead you might become discouraged.

Good luck, brother.  Make it a good day for you.

 

[Rollin]

Thank you for your reply, nobother.

Well, my goal is not reaching a number of days without PMO, but rather to completely remove porn from my life and heal all of the mental damage that it have done to me. By posting the PMO-Tracker, I am using it just as a counter and I am not dependent on it's goal that much.

Good luck, brother.

 

[Catch a Body]

Hey Rollin, I'm in the same boat as you my friend. I remember when I first started on porn I would only watch the regular shit like girl on girl. Then that got boring and I went to guy and girl . then that got boring and I'm pretty sure you see where this is going. Even last week when I cheated, I was pretty disgusted in myself and what I was looking at to get off. I just hope I can return to liking vanilla sex and not into that fucked up shit I've been watching of recently!

 

[Rollin]

Hey Lost Boy, I know that feeling brother and it's a weird situation because when it comes to real life - I like girls, I find them attractive, beautiful and shit but when it comes to porn, they don't satisfy me enough, so I have to watch some fucked up porn to maintain a hard erection and when I'm done, it's like my real me kicks in and I immediately feel disgusted of myself. At first I thought "OK It's only with porn, I have nothing to worry about",  but then I realized that my morning wood was gone and I couldn't maintain a 100% erection for more than a second unless I watch porn, extreme porn.And that's where it all started.

 

[Catch a Body]

That's the same way I found out. Ugh even the last time I PMO I was really disgusted in myself and what type of junk I was watching

 

[Rollin]

It's been a 2 weeks since I last PMO'd. I have to say that it's a lot easier to progress now because I'm losing the habit to masturbate to porn. I would usually think about getting that porn dose several times a day, but now I don't have the urge to watch porn. Sexual fantasies are passing through my mind from time to time though.