Killing The Porn Monster In My Brain

anon4598

Member
35 yo male. Single. I have struggled with porn for 20 years. Didn't realize just how miserable it made me until I listened to Your Brain On Porn and it completely opened my eyes. Over the years I had numerous opportunities with women who were clearly interested in me yet I did not reciprocate it. I now know it was the porn-induced haze that was clouding my mind and making me uninterested in real sex. Being exposed to porn at a young age did a lot of damage to my mind and it escalated to extreme content that I hate. Now knowing the effects of porn has given me the incentive and tools to leave it behind. This has been by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but it has also been the most rewarding. I know if I keep persevering and progressing I will have victory.
 

anon4598

Member
Looking back at 2022 when I started my reboot journey, it is encouraging to see the amount of incremental yet consistent progress I have made. Now, with the new year, I look forward to tracking my progress to the next.
We all wish that recovery from addiction can occur overnight but it is usually never that easy. It took us years or even decades getting into the throes of our addiction and it will take a long time to get out of it. We get excited and motivated learning about the benefits of quitting porn and hearing the stories of countless others who have quitted but we get discouraged and frustrated when we backslide. I think one of the key things to remember is to never let yourself get swallowed up by despair when you relapse. Be willing to forgive yourself. Keep focused on your goal and be positive.
 

anon4598

Member
Had a bad week where I relapsed into PMO two days in a row. Once was because I stayed up late by myself alone and drinking which I knew was a bad idea. The other was from 'testing' out the porn blocker extensions on my browsers while I was alone at home which gradually turned into a relapse. I've now deleted the one which was able to be exploited.
For me, triggers are boredom, isolation, drinking and stress. Especially on the weekends where I don't have to work.
I try not to get to discouraged when I slip but I want to scream at myself when I was doing so well for a while.
I've now put up a big business calender on my wall since getting rid of my smartphones and now I can use it to also chart my progress for the month. Clean days get a slash through them, porn or masturbation days get a yellow strike and PMO days get a yellow X.
One the worst things about my urges is that I can go from not caring about porn at all to an intense craving abruptly out of nowhere.
Usually this is because I'm engaging in one of my trigger behaviors.
 

anon4598

Member
I'm getting at a point where I can mostly avoid porn but I still have a hard time going without masturbation at least once a week or so. This is still far better than where I was before and I don't feel nearly as depressed and fatigued afterwards as when I was PMO'ing all the time.
I could probably abstain longer from masturbation if I didn't start getting semen leakage after urinating, which makes me excited and gives me an excuse.
 

logicprox

Active Member
For me one of the things that helps the most with the "unstructured" time where I don't HAVE to do anything (non-work days) having hobbies I really care about and want to progress at, and making those the focus of my weekend (even planning out when I will do them). Just kicking around watching TV or scrolling the internet, besides being inherently unsatisfying, are a recipe for disaster for PMO.

Not sure if you have any hobbies like that, but if not, maybe this is a great time to find some things you can really be passionate about.

Also have had success replacing TV/internet/social media with reading books. Especially books on how to take control of and change your mind.
 

anon4598

Member
For me one of the things that helps the most with the "unstructured" time where I don't HAVE to do anything (non-work days) having hobbies I really care about and want to progress at, and making those the focus of my weekend (even planning out when I will do them). Just kicking around watching TV or scrolling the internet, besides being inherently unsatisfying, are a recipe for disaster for PMO.

Not sure if you have any hobbies like that, but if not, maybe this is a great time to find some things you can really be passionate about.

Also have had success replacing TV/internet/social media with reading books. Especially books on how to take control of and change your mind.
Yes, unstructured lazy time is the worst for me. I've told my family about my problems and I have an 'open door' policy with my computer room. I also need to get into the habit of finding any reason to leave the house for a while when everyone is out.
I crave stimulation and can find video games as a good distraction, but I have plenty of reading material to catch up with as well. Reading also gives my brain a break from the computer screen.
 
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