First off a little background on me. I started masturbating at like 7. Started out dry humping stuff. Used a sears cataloge for a long time. Probably starting doing online porn at 13. High speed porn not too much later. I'm 31 so high speed porn came during college with downloads. Then eventually came youporn and what not. Probably the last five years have been the heaviest. High speed tube sites were the thing.
It seems like I've always had some trouble being satisfied. I started to think maybe I was gay. Which was a strange thought considering the content of my porn. Recently I started dating the prettiest girl I've ever been with. I never had any real problems getting it up. It was always finishing. Then after a month of waiting for her, I couldn't get it up. I was going through a lot at the time. I was getting ready to surely go to jail briefly though. I had quit drinking recently. Just a shit storm. So when this happened and I went to the doctor they said it was stress related and that I was depressed. I started taking welbutrin. We tried a few more times. She took it personally. We broke up.
Then like a cheesy love story 2 weeks later i got back in contact with her. She said she didn't care about that anymore she just wanted to be with me. That very night had been about a month since I had last PMO'd MO'd or O'd at all. I was a two pump chump that night but a champ in the morning. Since then we've been having the BEST sex I've ever had. It's like I've never had sex before her.
Recently I caught myself looking at sexy pictures. Started when I was looking for a walking dead meme to send my g/f. I caught a maxxim pic of Lauren Cohen. I decided to check out the whole shoot. Now for like the past week I've been checking out all sorts and that whole Kim Kardashian thing. I scowered the net for the unedited photo's of that. I also decided to go off my anti-depressant because it was tearing apart my insides, giving me headaches, and bad anxiety.
A few nights ago I had a little trouble. The next night no trouble. Tonite I was all ready to go for like half the day and when the pants came off I went flacid. Fucking nothing. No rallying no come back just done. Has anyone experienced this quick of a drop off from this small of a relapse. I still haven't masturbated. I REALLY want to. I also wanna drink but I'm staying strong.
I deleted my search history on pintrist and am chalking this one up to a learning experience. Just hoping it's not another dreaded flatline. I'm a little worried it will ruin my relationship which is if not the most important thing in my life it's pretty damn high up there. I just want to hear what other people have been through on this. I know that rebooting with a partner makes it better. I know i haven't had a full-on hard hard erection for quite some time. I know that I've had some good ones over the past month though. I understand it takes time. I just need to get it right for the sake of a my sanity and a better life.
It seems like I've always had some trouble being satisfied. I started to think maybe I was gay. Which was a strange thought considering the content of my porn. Recently I started dating the prettiest girl I've ever been with. I never had any real problems getting it up. It was always finishing. Then after a month of waiting for her, I couldn't get it up. I was going through a lot at the time. I was getting ready to surely go to jail briefly though. I had quit drinking recently. Just a shit storm. So when this happened and I went to the doctor they said it was stress related and that I was depressed. I started taking welbutrin. We tried a few more times. She took it personally. We broke up.
Then like a cheesy love story 2 weeks later i got back in contact with her. She said she didn't care about that anymore she just wanted to be with me. That very night had been about a month since I had last PMO'd MO'd or O'd at all. I was a two pump chump that night but a champ in the morning. Since then we've been having the BEST sex I've ever had. It's like I've never had sex before her.
Recently I caught myself looking at sexy pictures. Started when I was looking for a walking dead meme to send my g/f. I caught a maxxim pic of Lauren Cohen. I decided to check out the whole shoot. Now for like the past week I've been checking out all sorts and that whole Kim Kardashian thing. I scowered the net for the unedited photo's of that. I also decided to go off my anti-depressant because it was tearing apart my insides, giving me headaches, and bad anxiety.
A few nights ago I had a little trouble. The next night no trouble. Tonite I was all ready to go for like half the day and when the pants came off I went flacid. Fucking nothing. No rallying no come back just done. Has anyone experienced this quick of a drop off from this small of a relapse. I still haven't masturbated. I REALLY want to. I also wanna drink but I'm staying strong.
I deleted my search history on pintrist and am chalking this one up to a learning experience. Just hoping it's not another dreaded flatline. I'm a little worried it will ruin my relationship which is if not the most important thing in my life it's pretty damn high up there. I just want to hear what other people have been through on this. I know that rebooting with a partner makes it better. I know i haven't had a full-on hard hard erection for quite some time. I know that I've had some good ones over the past month though. I understand it takes time. I just need to get it right for the sake of a my sanity and a better life.