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how it stop......
- Thread starter aj
- Start date
M
MoonWatcher
Guest
Hi there,
I think there are a lot of us who are here because we've been in your position, whether that's right now or sometime in the past. When you do feel the way you described, it does feel like you're trapped and that there isn't a way to make it stop, but please understand that it's not true.
Just to say a few words about my own experience, I found that I would spend far longer than I wanted to watching porn, and often found myself planning around it. Things like "I'll have a free house on Thursday night so I'll be free to watch porn!" or "I have to stay up later than everyone else because I need to watch porn". It really does take over. Personally I found that I wasn't even enjoying it. I just used it because I kind of felt like I had to. Does this sound similar to what you're going through?
What's working in your favour is you've already realised that this addiction is a bad thing for you, and you really want out of it, so my suggestion is that you use that to start your journey. It isn't easy, and you might find that when you try to give up you'll find yourself using it again. I've been trying to be free of porn for a long time, and have had relapses, sometimes just one-offs and sometimes long periods of time. It can be upsetting and frustrating, but it gets better as time goes by. If you do relapse, don't beat yourself up over it. Just draw a line under it and keep going.
There are plenty of journals on this site where we've all detailed our experiences, so you might like to check out a few to see what worked for others and have a think about what will work for you. My advice to you would be to do all that you can to minimise the temptation. Delete all the porn on your PC, all your porn bookmarks, delete any email addresses you use for porn signups and everything you have that's related to porn. I'll warn you, I did find this to be incredibly difficult, and right after I did it I found myself relapsing quite often and trying to rebuild what I had destroyed (i.e: my porn collection) and surfing porn again. Eventually though my mentality kicked back in and I would delete it all again and carry on with my recovery. For me it's now a lot easier than it was a few months ago.
I was suffering from a lot of stress over the last three years, and would have been diagnosed with clinical depression if I'd seen a doctor anytime between May and September this year, but right now I'm in a very good emotional state, and that really helps. "Get yourself into a good mental state" is not exactly easy advice to follow, but I really recommend you try to do this to give yourself as good a chance as possible. Figure out what your real interests are, what you care about, and what you want to do to better yourself. Is there something you've always wanted to know more about? An instrument you want to play? Language? Cooking? Gardening? If you can think of anything like that, then definitely do it! You'll need something to fill the time that you used to spend watching porn, so why not use this time to do something you've always wanted to?
You've made an important step in reaching out for help, and we are all her to support each other, so welcome, and well done for joining us! Talking helps, so keep posting. When you're tempted, if you relapse, if things are going really well, if you figure out what's making it difficult for you - stuff like that. Just let the forums know! We're all aiming for the same goal and we're all suffering from a very personal problem, so don't be shy.
A final point I'd ask you to think about is this: why do you want to quit? What benefits will it have for you? How will it improve your life? What's that goal at the end of this path that's going to keep you motivated and pushing forward? Identify that and keep it in mind. You will get it, so look forward to it.
Good luck to you, and keep using the experiences of others to educate and motivate yourself, along with the information on yourbrainonporn.com
We'll all be rooting for you.
I think there are a lot of us who are here because we've been in your position, whether that's right now or sometime in the past. When you do feel the way you described, it does feel like you're trapped and that there isn't a way to make it stop, but please understand that it's not true.
Just to say a few words about my own experience, I found that I would spend far longer than I wanted to watching porn, and often found myself planning around it. Things like "I'll have a free house on Thursday night so I'll be free to watch porn!" or "I have to stay up later than everyone else because I need to watch porn". It really does take over. Personally I found that I wasn't even enjoying it. I just used it because I kind of felt like I had to. Does this sound similar to what you're going through?
What's working in your favour is you've already realised that this addiction is a bad thing for you, and you really want out of it, so my suggestion is that you use that to start your journey. It isn't easy, and you might find that when you try to give up you'll find yourself using it again. I've been trying to be free of porn for a long time, and have had relapses, sometimes just one-offs and sometimes long periods of time. It can be upsetting and frustrating, but it gets better as time goes by. If you do relapse, don't beat yourself up over it. Just draw a line under it and keep going.
There are plenty of journals on this site where we've all detailed our experiences, so you might like to check out a few to see what worked for others and have a think about what will work for you. My advice to you would be to do all that you can to minimise the temptation. Delete all the porn on your PC, all your porn bookmarks, delete any email addresses you use for porn signups and everything you have that's related to porn. I'll warn you, I did find this to be incredibly difficult, and right after I did it I found myself relapsing quite often and trying to rebuild what I had destroyed (i.e: my porn collection) and surfing porn again. Eventually though my mentality kicked back in and I would delete it all again and carry on with my recovery. For me it's now a lot easier than it was a few months ago.
I was suffering from a lot of stress over the last three years, and would have been diagnosed with clinical depression if I'd seen a doctor anytime between May and September this year, but right now I'm in a very good emotional state, and that really helps. "Get yourself into a good mental state" is not exactly easy advice to follow, but I really recommend you try to do this to give yourself as good a chance as possible. Figure out what your real interests are, what you care about, and what you want to do to better yourself. Is there something you've always wanted to know more about? An instrument you want to play? Language? Cooking? Gardening? If you can think of anything like that, then definitely do it! You'll need something to fill the time that you used to spend watching porn, so why not use this time to do something you've always wanted to?
You've made an important step in reaching out for help, and we are all her to support each other, so welcome, and well done for joining us! Talking helps, so keep posting. When you're tempted, if you relapse, if things are going really well, if you figure out what's making it difficult for you - stuff like that. Just let the forums know! We're all aiming for the same goal and we're all suffering from a very personal problem, so don't be shy.
A final point I'd ask you to think about is this: why do you want to quit? What benefits will it have for you? How will it improve your life? What's that goal at the end of this path that's going to keep you motivated and pushing forward? Identify that and keep it in mind. You will get it, so look forward to it.
Good luck to you, and keep using the experiences of others to educate and motivate yourself, along with the information on yourbrainonporn.com
We'll all be rooting for you.