42&Hopeful
Member
Haha. You do, indeed, sound like a yogi, but I like the phrase.I sound like a yogi when I say that one can achieve orgasm of the mind constantly, if they are not constantly distracted by orgasm of the body.
Ready for the fog to lift
- Thread starter 42&Hopeful
- Start date
42&Hopeful
Member
Wise words. Thanks!
42&Hopeful
Member
Great question! It is not pleasure, and perhaps that's the best way to look at it. And I like the idea of one day at a time. I'm in the weeds now. These days are difficult ones.
42&Hopeful
Member
Thanks! This makes sense, thought it doesn't make things easy right now. Today has been a challenge, but I am grateful for the fact that I have endured it. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier!
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Perspective is everything.
Don't think that you are losing something when in fact you are gaining everything.
If you were one of the migrants on a boat sailing to America in the early 1900s, does the sight of Ellis Island fill you with joy or fear? Does the years ahead of struggle daunt you?
No!
Because all you have in your heart is the knowledge that you are free from your former oppressors and a good life awaits you if you struggle hard.
Don't mourn for a good loss.
Celebrate for a better earned future.
Don't think that you are losing something when in fact you are gaining everything.
If you were one of the migrants on a boat sailing to America in the early 1900s, does the sight of Ellis Island fill you with joy or fear? Does the years ahead of struggle daunt you?
No!
Because all you have in your heart is the knowledge that you are free from your former oppressors and a good life awaits you if you struggle hard.
Don't mourn for a good loss.
Celebrate for a better earned future.
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
It's called time. Every day you resist porn will build your confidence. Every week will feel like an accomplishment. Your first month is guaranteed to make you feel like a champ. Tell that voice inside your head to shut the hell up. My voice still bothers me at 9 months and counting, but the voice is getting weaker and more pathetic all the time.
42&Hopeful
Member
Amazing! Thanks so much for this. You're right. Perspective is everything and the encouragement and perspective I am getting from this forum has exceeded my expectations! And for that, I can't thank everyone enough!
42&Hopeful
Member
Thanks! I like that - tell the voice in my head to shut the hell up. It's day seven and I am staring down the barrel of a day alone in my office, but I am feeling good, knowing the support I have here.
42&Hopeful
Member
Thank you!
42&Hopeful
Member
Day 7
This day has been easier than yesterday, though it is not over. I woke up with some perspective on my workload and I have been able to get a few things done. I have a lot more to do, but small victories amid the fog that may be beginning to lift, albeit ever so slightly, are worth celebrating. I am deeply thankful for the support of this forum. I say this often, but I hope you know that I mean it every time I do.
I have been exercising more than usual during this period and I think that is helping.
There are many challenges ahead, but as one of you mentioned to me the other day, it's about tackling this one day at a time.
I still have a lot of insecurities to work through as part of this healing process. As I continue down this no-PMO road, I imagine I will inch closer and closer to having to deal with the things that started me on this path in the first place. I have become so calloused to this part of me that I am not quite sure what those things are. Perhaps, it's just general insecurity. Not feeling attractive, perhaps. Not feeling loved, perhaps.
Both of my parents have mental health issues, and neither of them have ever admitted as much, nor have they done anything about it, except to deny it over and over again to their children, when we'd confront them about it during our adolescent years.
I am happy for this forum and the good that it is doing in my life, as well as in the lives of many others, apparently.
I hope that as I continue to successfully refrain from PMO and slowly reboot my brain, I'll be able to inspire others much like many of you continue to inspire and support me.
Thanks for reading!
This day has been easier than yesterday, though it is not over. I woke up with some perspective on my workload and I have been able to get a few things done. I have a lot more to do, but small victories amid the fog that may be beginning to lift, albeit ever so slightly, are worth celebrating. I am deeply thankful for the support of this forum. I say this often, but I hope you know that I mean it every time I do.
I have been exercising more than usual during this period and I think that is helping.
There are many challenges ahead, but as one of you mentioned to me the other day, it's about tackling this one day at a time.
I still have a lot of insecurities to work through as part of this healing process. As I continue down this no-PMO road, I imagine I will inch closer and closer to having to deal with the things that started me on this path in the first place. I have become so calloused to this part of me that I am not quite sure what those things are. Perhaps, it's just general insecurity. Not feeling attractive, perhaps. Not feeling loved, perhaps.
Both of my parents have mental health issues, and neither of them have ever admitted as much, nor have they done anything about it, except to deny it over and over again to their children, when we'd confront them about it during our adolescent years.
I am happy for this forum and the good that it is doing in my life, as well as in the lives of many others, apparently.
I hope that as I continue to successfully refrain from PMO and slowly reboot my brain, I'll be able to inspire others much like many of you continue to inspire and support me.
Thanks for reading!
42&Hopeful
Member
Day 0
Today was not easy. In fact, I found it too difficult to handle.
I think my triggers were spending time with a few key members of my family. They have the tendency to make me feel quite insecure. That, combined with work stress was a bit too much to handle. I feel as though I made the subconscious decision to PMO late last night, then executed on it today.
Though, I feel great about the progress I made leading up to this relapse, I really did not want to have to share this news with all of you, my support crew. Additionally, I am afraid that the more I tell you I have relapsed, the easier it will become and the less effective this support forum will be. I don't want that to be the case.
As so you can tell, I am always afraid of something. I am afraid that, instead of me having progressed over the last few days, all I have done is add a confessional element to my long-standing PMO that remains very much intact.
If anyone has any advice for the proper handling of a relapse, please let me know.
I feel as though I have let all down. And for that, I apologize.
Thanks for reading!
Today was not easy. In fact, I found it too difficult to handle.
I think my triggers were spending time with a few key members of my family. They have the tendency to make me feel quite insecure. That, combined with work stress was a bit too much to handle. I feel as though I made the subconscious decision to PMO late last night, then executed on it today.
Though, I feel great about the progress I made leading up to this relapse, I really did not want to have to share this news with all of you, my support crew. Additionally, I am afraid that the more I tell you I have relapsed, the easier it will become and the less effective this support forum will be. I don't want that to be the case.
As so you can tell, I am always afraid of something. I am afraid that, instead of me having progressed over the last few days, all I have done is add a confessional element to my long-standing PMO that remains very much intact.
If anyone has any advice for the proper handling of a relapse, please let me know.
I feel as though I have let all down. And for that, I apologize.
Thanks for reading!
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
Sharing relapses helps, 42&Hopeful. When it happens (and it will), my advice is don't be too hard on yourself - but don't be too soft on yourself either. Ask yourself what happened. What was the trigger? What led you back to porn? What could you do differently to avoid the scenario next time?
Ask yourself what happened. What was the trigger? What led you back to porn? What could you do differently to avoid the scenario next time?
My advice take care not to binge! And watch out for a chaser (heightened cravings) over the next few days. See https://nofap.com/faq/chaser-effect/
Exercise, socialize, meditate. Daily. You'll be fine.
Exercise, socialize, meditate. Daily. You'll be fine.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Relapse happens if we're not careful and determined.
7 days is just spot on with the article I shared earlier with you.
Rebooting and RN is about your recovery and reconnecting with yourself. It is not about relationships here. Do not worry about what other people think. Just focus on understanding and strengthening yourself. Your aim is to leave this forum one day with full control of yourself.
This relapse is no different than the last time. No new techniques, no new methods. Dig in and endure the next 14 days. Recognize and reward your achievements constantly. And then another 14 days more. And after that month by month.
And then voila! You're 6 mths clean with a clear hold and understanding of yourself. You can do this!
7 days is just spot on with the article I shared earlier with you.
Rebooting and RN is about your recovery and reconnecting with yourself. It is not about relationships here. Do not worry about what other people think. Just focus on understanding and strengthening yourself. Your aim is to leave this forum one day with full control of yourself.
This relapse is no different than the last time. No new techniques, no new methods. Dig in and endure the next 14 days. Recognize and reward your achievements constantly. And then another 14 days more. And after that month by month.
And then voila! You're 6 mths clean with a clear hold and understanding of yourself. You can do this!
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42&Hopeful
Member
Great advice! I am definitely doing a deep dive into what triggered the relapse. And I like the idea of finding a balance between not being too hard on myself and not being too soft. I think that's spot-on.Sharing relapses helps, 42&Hopeful. When it happens (and it will), my advice is don't be too hard on yourself - but don't be too soft on yourself either.
Ha. You're right! It does dovetail nicely with that article you shared with me. That is quite interesting! Thanks for this! It's inspiring!
42&Hopeful
Member
Day 1
Today was a good day, albeit one consumed by work and by my desire to identify the triggers that led to yesterday’s relapse.
According to an interesting and informative article @TakeActionNow shared in this thread, the seventh day is characterized by a dopamine drop for which I should have better prepared. That, combined with a stressful workload and an evening spent among a group of people around whom I am not used to being myself. In these environments – ones in which I don’t feel safe or ones in which I feel insecure and/or judged – I tend to retreat into myself, a mode that usually comes with weaker defenses.
In the future, I will anticipate this day-seven and day-14 dopamine drop and be extra vigilant about straying from such unhelpful environments and situations.
I think another challenge is that, even on day 7, I was starting to feel myself change. Even though this particular change felt great, I find change, in general, to be quite scary.
When I successfully quit, will my confidence levels ramp up, leading me to speak my mind more often? If so, what will that look like?
I’ve become so accustomed to the high highs and low lows of PMO addiction that, on some subconscious level, I’m scared I won’t recognize myself once I quit.
All this to say, I remain thankful for the support I have been receiving and I feel confident heading into day two.
Thanks for reading!
Today was a good day, albeit one consumed by work and by my desire to identify the triggers that led to yesterday’s relapse.
According to an interesting and informative article @TakeActionNow shared in this thread, the seventh day is characterized by a dopamine drop for which I should have better prepared. That, combined with a stressful workload and an evening spent among a group of people around whom I am not used to being myself. In these environments – ones in which I don’t feel safe or ones in which I feel insecure and/or judged – I tend to retreat into myself, a mode that usually comes with weaker defenses.
In the future, I will anticipate this day-seven and day-14 dopamine drop and be extra vigilant about straying from such unhelpful environments and situations.
I think another challenge is that, even on day 7, I was starting to feel myself change. Even though this particular change felt great, I find change, in general, to be quite scary.
When I successfully quit, will my confidence levels ramp up, leading me to speak my mind more often? If so, what will that look like?
I’ve become so accustomed to the high highs and low lows of PMO addiction that, on some subconscious level, I’m scared I won’t recognize myself once I quit.
All this to say, I remain thankful for the support I have been receiving and I feel confident heading into day two.
Thanks for reading!
42&Hopeful
Member
Day 2
This day has been good, albeit exceptionally busy with work-related things. I spent a lot of the day frustrated with a colleague, but before I go down the road of expressing those feelings, I'd like to take stock of whether I am actually angry at my workmate or merely dealing with the complicated emotions associated with quitting PMO. I will sleep on it over the weekend and return to the issue on Monday, hopefully with a clearer head.
I am grateful that, despite work stress and despite many excuses to retreat into a PMO session, I was able to refrain. I was able to strengthen myself today.
Thanks for reading!
This day has been good, albeit exceptionally busy with work-related things. I spent a lot of the day frustrated with a colleague, but before I go down the road of expressing those feelings, I'd like to take stock of whether I am actually angry at my workmate or merely dealing with the complicated emotions associated with quitting PMO. I will sleep on it over the weekend and return to the issue on Monday, hopefully with a clearer head.
I am grateful that, despite work stress and despite many excuses to retreat into a PMO session, I was able to refrain. I was able to strengthen myself today.
Thanks for reading!
42&Hopeful
Member
Day 3
It was a fantastic day, everyone! I spent a lot of it outside. I'd love to say I felt strong today, but the day passed quickly and easily. I know I will face some challenging days ahead. But, I am grateful for this one. It was a gift.
Thanks for reading!
It was a fantastic day, everyone! I spent a lot of it outside. I'd love to say I felt strong today, but the day passed quickly and easily. I know I will face some challenging days ahead. But, I am grateful for this one. It was a gift.
Thanks for reading!