How do I know if I’m fully healed or just in a “calm” phase of my withdrawals?

[hokipa]

Hi community, I’m almost 5 months in my recovery and have to say it’s been a very difficult journey so far

I experienced a lot of withdrawals (especially psychological ones) that made me think I was getting crazy

I was literally living in my own head thinking nothin made sense in life, couldn’t sleep and lost my appetite, bad bad weeks

Anyway, for the last 2 weeks more or less, I started feeling better, hoping I was out of the woods or near my final step of the journey thereabouts (I was not thinking about tragic scenarios or hopeless thoughts, just living my present moment, but not that sense of “enthusiasm” everybody talks about when they are fully healed). In the last two days I started thinkin about sad things and scenarios almost like I was in the first part of my journey, just when I thought I was almost fully healed, sadness and hopeless thoughts arised again in my mind, my question is: How do I know if I’m fully recovered/healed or I’m just in a “calm” phase before the next storm of withdrawals come? Can someone who’s already and surely fully healed answer me? Thank you (I don’t know if it can depend on that but I found myself looking at (not indulgin that much) a photo that popped up on social media and that aroused me but soon stopped looking after some minutes and didn’t come back to that later)

 

[Androg]

Usually what's missing at this phase is healthy socializing. Are you finding ways to spend social time with others, especially potential partners?

 

[hokipa]

Not at all, but this should be my choice, I mean, if I’m not interested in romantic intercourses during this phase of my life why should I do this in order to feel better? My question was how do I know when I’m fully healed and don’t have to wait for another withdrawal wave, besides of girls and romantic socialization

 

[Androg]

Do it your way then! All the best.

 

[the_correct_wolf]

There is no fully healed, there is no final step of the journey. You must learn to continuously improve your health and enjoy the journey.

As far as wether or not you will experience future withdrawal symptoms; the longer you abstain from it the less frequent and less intense they will be. Beyond that general tendancy it's too subjective to predict how it will go for anyone in particular. You may notice a cyclical pattern of reoccurring urges. You may not have any trouble for months but then be hit with intense urges during times of stress. Your best bet is to be prepared.

I can tell with certainty though that if you continue to look at pictures that arouse you, this will make it more likely that you will continue to experience withdrawal symptoms or fall back into the same patterns again. This is activating the same neural pathways in your brain and keeping the flame alive, so to speak.

 

[hokipa]

There is no fully healed, there is no final step of the journey. You must learn to continuously improve your health and enjoy the journey.

As far as wether or not you will experience future withdrawal symptoms; the longer you abstain from it the less frequent and less intense they will be. Beyond that general tendancy it's too subjective to predict how it will go for anyone in particular. You may notice a cyclical pattern of reoccurring urges. You may not have any trouble for months but then be hit with intense urges during times of stress. Your best bet is to be prepared.

I can tell with certainty though that if you continue to look at pictures that arouse you, this will make it more likely that you will continue to experience withdrawal symptoms or fall back into the same patterns again. This is activating the same neural pathways in your brain and keeping the flame alive, so to speak.

Yes, it was a temporary glance on a photo, won’t do that again, I won’t make it happen at least
as regards “no such thing as completely healed” I mean returning to a normal functioning mental state (actually better than the one you had before quitting) because while on your journey, during your reboot withdrawals keep coming in waves, and a normal human being shouldn’t be experiencing mental moments of disconnection/depression/hopelesness if he didn’t suffer of any of these disease before recovery. As I didn’t suffer of depression or other mental illnesses before and started experiencing them when I quit PMO and started my recovery my question makes sense: When I’m over this PMO addiction (which means never relapsing again, just leaving this thing behind) will I come back to my normal mental state? Or do I have to expect waves of psychological withdrawals from time to time for ever and have to cohabit with them?

 

[Androg]

Some people refer to PAWS in connection with lingering porn withdrawals. Others notice steady improvements. Hopefully you'll be in the latter category. Replacement activities/attitudes may hold the key. They can change your entire outlook.

All the best.

 

[hokipa]

If my case is PAWS, will they go away anyway even tho they may take more time?

 

[Androg]

Who knows, but it seems that most people continue to improve if they stay away from porn. Socializing helps with mood regulation. So does contact with potential mates.

 

[the_correct_wolf]

I think you must also consider the possibility that these feelings are valid. Were you not experiencing these symptoms before withdrawl, or were you just blind to them because you were preoccupied with active addiction. In either case, in any case I believe it is possible to improve, how quickly and how consistently one will feel better will vary widely.

Do you have meaningful connections with others? Are you engaging in anything about which you feel passionate? Are you looking forward to anything? Without these things one could expect to feel disconnected, depressed, and hopeless. Our emotions exist to guide us. The good news is that there's always hope; the bad news is you may have to do more than stop one bad habit to feel better.

Keep digging, my friend. I recommend looking into ways of improving your emotional literacy. It has helped me significantly.

 

[Androg]

Hokipa, keep in mind that if you're deeply miserable, consider texting HOME to 741741. That will connect you with a volunteer Crisis Counselor. You could also consider texting 988 - Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - https://988lifeline.org/

 

[Jinx2109]

Yes, it was a temporary glance on a photo, won’t do that again, I won’t make it happen at least
as regards “no such thing as completely healed” I mean returning to a normal functioning mental state (actually better than the one you had before quitting) because while on your journey, during your reboot withdrawals keep coming in waves, and a normal human being shouldn’t be experiencing mental moments of disconnection/depression/hopelesness if he didn’t suffer of any of these disease before recovery. As I didn’t suffer of depression or other mental illnesses before and started experiencing them when I quit PMO and started my recovery my question makes sense: When I’m over this PMO addiction (which means never relapsing again, just leaving this thing behind) will I come back to my normal mental state? Or do I have to expect waves of psychological withdrawals from time to time for ever and have to cohabit with them?

Hi I hope youre feeling better overall right now but I just wanted to say that generally things do get better overall the further away from porn you get and the longer youve been sober from it. But also what other members here have said I know first hand to be true as well. I personally went on a big journey within myself and had to do a lot of digging, healing, and consistent counseling. I don't really know you but my instinct is that if you are struggling mentally without porn than you were probably using porn as a crutch to avoid dealing with whatever hurts or stresses you have been or are currently going through. Just like people who drink to numb their pains I used porn to deal with stress. Or like taking a comfort blanket away from a child, they just dont know how to cope w/o it. (I dont mean any offense with these examples) I cant say for sure, but its worth looking into if you have any buried pains or just learning how to deal with everyday stresses in a healthy way.