Keeping communication open with partner

[jonazo91]

Hi, I recently had a talk with my fiancee about my struggles with porn and she was very supportive about it and asked how she could help. It's actually not the first time I've opened up to her about it. I did a few years ago and she was supportive then too, but then I stopped talking to her about it and went back to watching porn pretty frequently without ever mentioning my struggles to her.

So we're trying to find a balance. I don't know if coming clean to her every time I have a setback is the way. But maybe it is. Ideally, it won't be very often, or I will stay clean from now on and only have positive things to report to her. But if not, I'm curious to hear how others have handled keeping the lines of communication open with their SOS, through the ups and downs of their recovery journeys.

 

[Androg]

This is a tricky one. Absolute accountability and honesty is extremely helpful for recovery...but usually it's best with an accountability partner or sponsor. A mate can't fill that role very well. Maybe find and AP or join an online recovery group and get a sponsor?

 

[Gracie]

It is good to have open communication with her. However, you should have someone you can talk to about you, your progress and why you turn to porn. A counselor that understands this is best.