Another fresh start

I'm 29. I'd still like to reboot my brain to my real life partner. I've attempted many reboots over the years, uncovering much about myself along the way. Every time I thought I'd reached the root, issue(s), I'd find something deeper. I now believe I've found the truest core roots and solutions to stick to.

Trauma and neglect: I was born highly sensitive, I'm twice-exceptional, I was unintentionally neglcted, had an emotionally absent mother and absent father. These all mean I don't easily regulate my emotions and need DBT, self-compassion and to re-parent myself. I need to learn unmasking and living simpler, less stimulation
Mysoginistic, violent, exploitative porn exposure - speaks for itself
A tech-saturated world (I need to explore digital minimalism)
An individualistic world
A toxic workplace

Purpose/Transcendent context: Meditation, Engaged Buddhism, Zen, Nondual enquiry, Facing finitude
Connection/community and quality support/treatment - Structured paths - On and offline - CO-REGULATION
Better environment: Work, living situation, city etc.
ADHD (treat/compensate) - Goals, Habits, Tasks, Natural rewards, Interests, Hobbies, Skills, XPs- Float tank rewards - Therapeutic drugs(?)
Nonviolent communication, Assertiveness, Unmasking (rejection sensitivity, shyness, quietness and mutism)
Learning about healthy sexuality and masculinity (porn, women, sexualised traumas)

The biggest thing I've learned is how little this has to do with porn itself and how much of our focus is wasted on that aspect. Seeking itself (to regulate deeper internal issues) is the addiction, not just the point of consumption, this is important. Abstinence is an important, but actually quite small, aspect of recovery. There are bigger systemic issues going on
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I think everyone is different. If you have deep issues, you'll have to address them as part of recovery. But if you're merely "an opportunity addict," i.e, someone who wouldn't have become hooked if porn hadn't been so accessible, then eliminating porn (+ replacing it with healthy choices) can do the job.
I most certainly have trauma. I also know there are systemic issues that lead to so many people having porn addicitons. I think the individualistic narrative needs to go. We are social communal creatures. I am not responsible for the porn industry, the ideas pushed about masculinity, women and sexuality. They need examining first. Abstinence is an important aspect of recovery and yet a smaller one. It's one of many metrics. If I continue to track abstinence I'm not gonna see the true progress I'm making in the areas of my life that hold it up and drive me towards it. Yes there's a push in the brain, and a pull from out there, but on a larger level there's also deep pressures taking place. I didn't relapse today. I want to get back on track. So scratch some of the stuff I said above. It's time to actually find the roots of this.