Zero to One -Daily journal

C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 13

I've been STARVING for some porn the past few days. So much so that I remembered something that I had completely forgotten about for months. An old phone. I found it and it still worked. All of my devices have blockers on them... but not this old phone. Like a moth to a flame, I could feel the pull to watch porn. You know what I did? I went outside to my car, left the phone in there and then went back inside and went to bed. BIG win.

I'll be disposing of that phone soon, it's way too powerful of a temptation to have right now

-Clouds&Dirt
 
C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 1

I made it through a decent streak but messed up. The relapse wasn't that bad, and what I watched was way tamer than what I usually watch, but at the end of the day, porn is porn, so I'm resetting my count and coming back to the forums for a while.

I'll beat it for good this time

-Clouds&Dirt
 
C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 2

Gonna try to write consistently in here until at least day 30. I've found that I often get comfortable and stop coming to the forums after a while, but without the extra reinforcement, it's like I'm "letting my guard down" and am more likely to fail when urges strike.

I'm still feeling some chaser effect from the last relapse. I didn't binge for hours, it was like 10-15 minutes, once, to softcore things. I think my addiction is "unsatisfied" by this and still wants more.

But there won't be more.

-Clouds&Dirt
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Clouds&Dirt said:
Day 1

I made it through a decent streak but messed up. The relapse wasn't that bad, and what I watched was way tamer than what I usually watch, but at the end of the day, porn is porn, so I'm resetting my count and coming back to the forums for a while.

I'll beat it for good this time

-Clouds&Dirt
Click to expand...
Good luck!
 
C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 3

Already 10% to 30 days! I've been keeping myself busy with projects and exercise so no real urges. The closest thing to an "urge" is the horniness that comes with morning wood.

I've also been writing in a little journal everyday, one or two sentences about why I need to quit watching porn forever. I think it helps to remind myself of why I'm doing this. It should help me avoid thoughts of "porn isn't that bad, almost everyone watches it." Yeah it's maybe not that bad, but it's VERY bad for ME specifically. I can't let myself forget that.

-Clouds&Dirt
 
C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 6

Was facing some powerful urges yesterday but luckily all of my blockers were up and bulletproof so I couldn't watch anything. I tried though, which is embarrassing to admit.

Anyway, another day without porn

-Clouds&Dirt
 
C

Clouds&Dirt

Member
Day 7

1 week clean!

My devices are currently the most aggressively blocked they've ever been. I wonder how effective this brute-force approach to rebooting will work out. I've tried this before with the Covenant Eyes blocker, but long story short I would always figure out how to hack around the block. But I've been using Cold Turkey, which is better, and did some research on how to "plug the holes" in Cold Turkey so it can't be hacked.

I'm beating this addiction for good.

-Clouds&Dirt
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top