A second chance

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Trisquel

Active Member
Hello guys.

I'm still struggling with fantasies I have in the morning, I've been M to them. I have to he careful with that, and remind myself how harmful and horrible P has been in my life. These fantasies are nothing but the remembrance of P, and as such I need to cast them away.


I commit to one day of no P, no Fantasies and no subtitues. I won't M to fantasies, and I will be specially careful with it when laying in Bed.

I will also commit to no YouTube or Instagram on my phone. I have been doing that and it's been good, although I have been using them from time to time. What if I commit to not using them for two or trhee days? That could be interesting.

That's all for today, wee you next time, guys.
 
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TypeN

Active Member
Sorry to hear that you've been struggling, Trisquel. But you've got this!!!

I totally relate to how you've been feeling about not integrating with people; I've been worrying about the exact same thing lately with my own program. But that is not "you"; that is trauma and addiction lying to you. You are a wonderfully warm and intelligent person, so I am confident you can find good people to connect with. Maybe you can look at putting yourself out there as an opportunity to kick those dark thoughts in the ass.

Anyhow, best wishes my man, stay well. 🙏
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hello people!

Things are going fine. I'm a bit stressed, but cannot really complain.

I'm here to commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies.
I will be specially careful with fantasies when laying in bed.

I've been using YouTube and Instagram in my phone, which is not great, but overall I'm using them less and less.

Also, I'm 29days free. I've had a slip with MO in the middle, but still.
I can feel more clearly how P and social media don't make me any good and how I use them as narcotics.

One day at a time!
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Trisquel said:
Hello people!

Things are going fine. I'm a bit stressed, but cannot really complain.

I'm here to commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies.
I will be specially careful with fantasies when laying in bed.

I've been using YouTube and Instagram in my phone, which is not great, but overall I'm using them less and less.

Also, I'm 29days free. I've had a slip with MO in the middle, but still.
I can feel more clearly how P and social media don't make me any good and how I use them as narcotics.

One day at a time!
Click to expand...
Enjoying your studies?
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
TypeN said:
Sorry to hear that you've been struggling, Trisquel. But you've got this!!!

I totally relate to how you've been feeling about not integrating with people; I've been worrying about the exact same thing lately with my own program. But that is not "you"; that is trauma and addiction lying to you. You are a wonderfully warm and intelligent person, so I am confident you can find good people to connect with. Maybe you can look at putting yourself out there as an opportunity to kick those dark thoughts in the ass.

Anyhow, best wishes my man, stay well. 🙏
Click to expand...
Thanks for your words! That's very kind.
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys.

One month without P usage!
A small victory, if you compare it to all the time I've been using P, but a very important one.

These days I've been feeling depressed and stressed and exhausted. I find beeing social very difficult. But I'm working on those things, and I find that I'm having the attitude of letting things happen and trying to cope with them, rather than beeing desperate. I'm going to individual therapy, and this month I'll start attending a therapy group. These experiences may help me and give me tools to move forward to a healthier place. Also, I have to remind myself that it is a process, and that it takes time. One doesn't change his life from one day to the other, I've been trying to build a good life for myself, and changes are difficult. Very difficult. It's normal that it takes time.

I commit to one day of no P, no M and no fantasies. I will be specially careful when laying in bed.

That's all for today guys, see you next time.
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hey guys.

i have MO to fantasies this morning. I don't feel proud of it, but I'm sick of beating me up, so let's try to take it easy.
I have to change this habit of mine. Also, I'm more that 30days without P, which is the period where I'm more sensitive te relapsing. I had created a habit of relapsing after a month of abstinence.
That habit is going to be hard to break, and from previous experiences I know MO to fantasies is usually the begining of using more and more fantasies and finally relapsing.

Now I have identified it as what it is, and now I have the chance to break the pattern.
I compromise to not using P, fantasies or subtitues.
I will be specially carefull with fantasies, specially in the morning or when laying in bed.
I have come across this rule: everytime I feel like M to fantasies in bed, or everytime I cannot control my fantasies, I will go out of bed. Even if it's only to sit down in the chair next to my bed. The important thing is that I take this feelings of going to fantasies as a clue to get the fuck up!

By subtitues I mean specially youtube and intagram in my phone. It gives me a lot of peace not to use them on my smartphone. Also eating junk food, which is a thing I use as a subtitue as well.

I also must now that I'm going to feel like crap, since I use all of these stuff as a way of coping with my feelings. I must also know that is not easy to break long-lasting habits. I also must remember that is good that I feel that way, that it's the start of confronting my feelings in a more healthy way.

One day at a time.
Whish me luck, guys!
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Getting out of bed immediately is a good strategy. Some people find that doing push-ups, or some other vigorous exercise for a few moments will make the urge pass. Good luck!
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hello people.

Having a lot of urges this morning, is incredible how some habits can build into us.
Anyway, I'm going for a run, and I'm continuing my day.

I commit to only one day of no P, no fantasies and no substitues. Only for today, tomorrow will take care of itself. I will be specially carefull with fantasies, food and with using social media in my phone.

more than 30 days without P and my addiction starts to kick in! it's normal, I became used to relapsing after this period of time, it's good to keep that in mind and to act accordinlgy.
I will read the first post of this treath for some inspiration and I will continue with my day!

See ya!
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Well, I have a lot of urges this morning.
I do really want to relapse!

anyway, I do know that in the end, if I follow this urge it will lead me to despair. I will instead finish my coffee and leave my house inmediatly. I'm preparing my backpack, and I'll be leaving soon.
I think this night will be difficult.

I compromise to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies.
By subtitues I mean social media on my food and binging on food. I will be specially carefull in the morning.

I'm practising some mindfullness exercises with my psycologist that can help me go trought the day.

That's all for today, see you tomorrow, guys!
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys. I had a small relapse a couple of days ago. I was having a lot of physical symptoms and I was not managing so well. I did the best I could, and I resisted as much as I could. Is impressive how much these habits are deep wired in us.
That reminds me that I have to pay a good deal of attention to rewiring to real life.

I'm still committing to no P, no P subtitues and no fantasies, only for today.
I'm doing good with mo social media in my phone. I'll also try to eat a bit healthier. Step by step.


That's all for today guys, see you later.
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Androg said:
How are the symptoms now?
Click to expand...
They are alright. I made a trip to visit my friends, so that helped me a lot.
Now that I'm back home I still have urges when I'm in bed. I have to watch out for that.
Maybe to get out of bed as soon as I notice the urges, and not indulging in them can work. I think I also need to rewire to real life, to socializing with real people, to getting out of my house and to getting out of myself.

I shall expect some urges coming soon, but I'm anticipating them, and I know what to expect and what to do.

Thanks for asking man!
 
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Trisquel

Active Member
Hey guys, hanging in there.
I've had some anxiety problems lately. Very strong emotions that pop out and are difficult to manage.
It's not easy, but I have to say that I'm managing them the best Incan, and I think I'm doing a good job doing so. I've always had this kind of problems and it feels like I'm learning to finally manage them.
I'm going to therapy and to a therapy group, which don't feel great, tbh, but can help me to manage my crap.
I'm proud I'm not turning to P or P subtitues to manage these feelings. I have been having a lot of urges, but im the end I didn't gave up to them these week. A small victory!

I comprise today to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies.
By subtitues I mean social media in my phone, and binging on food.
I will be specially careful when beeing in bed.

That's all for today.
See you next time, guys!

PD,: 40+ days free (without counting that small relapse )
 
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