The betrayer has become the betrayed

[equinox-ps]

I betrayed my wife by with porography for years, getting caught twice. She gave me a final chance about a year ago and I've been steadfast in recovery and clean every day since then.

Unfortunately, it appears I may have been too late. Today, I found out that my wife was having an emotional affair with an alumni at her Law School. I'm absolutely crushed and don't know what to do.

Has anyone else been betrayed by their partner following their own discovery? It would be nice to know I'm not alone here.

 

[Gracie]

How has your communication been since you stopped using? After the last chance she gave you, did the two of you come up with a plan to re-establish trust and connection? When my husband used, he was not connected to me and our sons the way he was prior. He became emotionally unavailable. An excellent book that helps with re-connection is Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson. My husband and I read it out loud together a chapter at a time and talked. Very helpful.

 

[equinox-ps]

Communication has been great since I finally started getting my life together. That said, open communication and good behavior just isn't enough to right the wrongs I've made. Unfortunately, it seems too little too late. It seems I've caused too much emotional trauma in my marriage and divorce now seems inevitable. I will always hope for reconciliation, but that too seems unlikely.

 

[Gracie]

I am so sorry to hear this. I hate when porn claims another marriage or relationship. It can be worked through. Perhaps things will change for the better for you. I hope so!

 

[joepanic]

That is a shame when people can not forgive. Addiction is a sickness and should be treated as one. Some seem to forget that What wewre the causes that led you into porn in the 1st place